Achán hiNidráne
Illuminator
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2004
- Messages
- 3,974
I work as a call center operator for my states' "one-call" service. That is, when homeowners or contractors wish to excavate for a construction project, they are required to call us to arrange to have their buried utility lines marked before they start working. In the two years I've worked for Digger's Hotline, I've taken thousands of calls to request locates for every type of project from decks, swimming, pools, freeway construction projects, archaeological digs, and even one murder investigation.
Monday, I had my second strangest call yet:
An old codger up in the northern portion of the states had called because he wanted to build a pole-shed on his lot. He seemed to resent the idea of having to call us because he was SURE that there were no underground utilities buried on his work site. Regardless, I started to take down his information to process a standard locate request. Then, he asks me...
(Rustic Wisconsin Accent) "Eh, why don' I calls one of dem dere water witches wit da rods?"
Not entirely sure I understood what he meant, I asked him if he was taking about a dowser. He was, and he was convinced that they worked because he knew of a neighbor who had used one to find a telephone line and he was able to find it "where ever da rods crossed."
I was dumbfounded. I tried to explain that dowsing had been debunked time and time again, but he was convinced they HAD to work. Trying to keep my temper--nothing angers me more than blatant stupidity--I went through the rest the request with him and got him off the line before I said something that could have gotten me fired.
When I got home, I did a quick check on the internet. Sure enough, the woo sites proclaim dowsings efficacy in finding underground utility lines. Part of me was amazed. The rest of me was disgusted. Why does the government allow these frauds to pull this crap?
While it seems pretty mundane, utility location is SERIOUS business. First of all, many of our society's vital telecommunications lines (phone, cable tv, fiber optic, etc) are buried underground. Damaging those lines cost thousands of dollars to repair as well as inconveniences individuals and business who rely on those networks. More importantly, cutting into an energized electrical line or pressurized gas line can be potentially fatal. Just a couple of years ago in Door County, a couple killed themselves in an explosion caused when they cut into an unmarked private propane line. Earlier this winter, several blocks of downtown Milwaukee had to be evacuated because some moron cut into a high-pressure natural gas line without calling in a locate request first.
The fellow who had spoken to me, was willing to risk having to pay thousands in fines and repair costs and/or get himself injured or killed because he prefers the "expertise" of a charlatan with a couple of wire rods rather than a professional locater with modern, electronic detection equipment?
I don't get it... I just don't get it...
(What was my strangest call of all? It was some paranoid who refused to give me his information because he believed that we used it to send the "helicopters" out to spy on him. After an hour spent of trying to drag his address out of him and listening to his inane non sequitur ramblings, he asked me to warn the locate crews to be careful because he's heard Bigfoot howling around the area of his work site a few nights before.)
Monday, I had my second strangest call yet:
An old codger up in the northern portion of the states had called because he wanted to build a pole-shed on his lot. He seemed to resent the idea of having to call us because he was SURE that there were no underground utilities buried on his work site. Regardless, I started to take down his information to process a standard locate request. Then, he asks me...
(Rustic Wisconsin Accent) "Eh, why don' I calls one of dem dere water witches wit da rods?"
Not entirely sure I understood what he meant, I asked him if he was taking about a dowser. He was, and he was convinced that they worked because he knew of a neighbor who had used one to find a telephone line and he was able to find it "where ever da rods crossed."
I was dumbfounded. I tried to explain that dowsing had been debunked time and time again, but he was convinced they HAD to work. Trying to keep my temper--nothing angers me more than blatant stupidity--I went through the rest the request with him and got him off the line before I said something that could have gotten me fired.
When I got home, I did a quick check on the internet. Sure enough, the woo sites proclaim dowsings efficacy in finding underground utility lines. Part of me was amazed. The rest of me was disgusted. Why does the government allow these frauds to pull this crap?
While it seems pretty mundane, utility location is SERIOUS business. First of all, many of our society's vital telecommunications lines (phone, cable tv, fiber optic, etc) are buried underground. Damaging those lines cost thousands of dollars to repair as well as inconveniences individuals and business who rely on those networks. More importantly, cutting into an energized electrical line or pressurized gas line can be potentially fatal. Just a couple of years ago in Door County, a couple killed themselves in an explosion caused when they cut into an unmarked private propane line. Earlier this winter, several blocks of downtown Milwaukee had to be evacuated because some moron cut into a high-pressure natural gas line without calling in a locate request first.
The fellow who had spoken to me, was willing to risk having to pay thousands in fines and repair costs and/or get himself injured or killed because he prefers the "expertise" of a charlatan with a couple of wire rods rather than a professional locater with modern, electronic detection equipment?
I don't get it... I just don't get it...
(What was my strangest call of all? It was some paranoid who refused to give me his information because he believed that we used it to send the "helicopters" out to spy on him. After an hour spent of trying to drag his address out of him and listening to his inane non sequitur ramblings, he asked me to warn the locate crews to be careful because he's heard Bigfoot howling around the area of his work site a few nights before.)
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) and that I had very special powers of locating deeply buried treasure (as far as I've ever been able to tell, not true 
