You’re right, as a “single” person attending an event, part of the challenge is figuring out how to meet people. The thing is, that regardless of my willingness to talk to strangers, there are many other factors that play into how successful I will be.
The problem I have with your statement is that it makes a lot of assumptions. For example, you assume that everyone else is there to meet people as well. Take the bar for example. Sometimes people just go there to hang out with their friends, not to get approached by everyone else.
The same could be said for any event. Just because there are large numbers of people, doesn’t automatically mean everyone is interested in hanging out with people they don’t know.
Yes, when I attended TAM 8 there were some rude people. Being a skeptic doesn't automatically make a person nice...people are people.
And of course there is an intimidation factor. The last thing anyone wants is to find themselves in the middle of a topic where they have nothing of value to add. Meeting people can be intimidating at the best of times, let alone standing around awkwardly as others discuss something you know nothing about.
However, you assume that there are only those reasons why talking to people at an event is hard. In my experience there are a lot of other reasons. For example:
- Not everyone is there to meet others. Some people are there with their friends or partners, and they have their own goals and agendas.
- For some, this is a once a year opportunity to interact with people they know through other means, and the last thing they want is some random person tagging along.
- Some people are simply not approachable. It’s not likely that I’m going to walk up to Richard Dawkins and 45 minutes later find myself giving him a high five while we watch the Treasure Island pirate show.
I’m sure there are more, but the point is that because there are a lot of different reasons why people are there, it can be frustrating and time consuming to find people to hang out with.
Well, one option is exactly what I'm trying to do here. Attempt to find people in a similar situation, and arrange a meeting. This greatly improves the probability that you'll find someone to talk to, and/or hang out with because you aren't forced to try to work your way into groups of people.
I'm not sure I understand. The whole point is that people may form into groups. The entire point is that meeting other "singles" opens up opportunity for those people to have a group of people to hang out with.
The fact is that many of us attend TAM because in addition to learning awesome stuff, it is the one opportunity to meet people that many of us simply don’t have access to in our daily lives. Attending TAM alone can be a frustrating and intimidating experience. Nothing is worse than spending four days with 1700 like minded people, yet coming away from it feeling like you didn’t meet anyone.
I’ll be honest here. I don’t really understand why some of you are questioning this idea. Without trying to sound like a jerk, some of the replies in this thread are exactly the reasons why it can be hard to meet people at events like TAM.
Could you please provide examples?
If TAM does more than you’ve ever seen from a conference to welcome, it would be great if you could point me to examples of this.
First of all, I have to say that I have nothing against organizing a singles' gathering at TAM. I think all the informal get-togethers that get organized around TAM are great--they can be a lot of fun, a great way to meet people, and add a lot to the whole TAM experience.
I'm sorry to hear that you had bad experiences trying to meet people at TAM 8. That is different from my own experience at two TAMs (8 and 9).
Having said that, a few points:
You are right in saying that, as in any gathering, there are people who are not out to meet others, who would prefer to stay with their own group. That's inevitable.
My point in my earlier post, however, was that I think that at TAM these are a small minority. Virtually everyone I've met at TAM has been open, friendly, and willing to chat and get to know new people. But of course you need to talk to them first to find this out. And you can't just sit in a corner and hope they come up and talk to you. If they turn out not to be nice and friendly when you say hi, just move on.
With regards to your point about finding yourself in a conversation where you have nothing of value to add, you said, "Meeting people can be intimidating at the best of times, let alone standing around awkwardly as others discuss something you know nothing about." I prefer to think of listening to a conversation like that as a learning opportunity. If I don't understand something, I see if there is an opportunity to ask a question.
One final small point--you mentioned going up to talk to Richard Dawkins as an example (I know you were just making a point mentioning him). Well, I'd say if one of your objectives for going to TAM is to meet some of the speakers and other VIPs (and for many TAM attendees this is a goal), you're not very likely to do that at a singles' gathering. I met and shook hands with Richard Dawkins at the Skeptics in the Pub (or Drinking Skeptically--I can't keep them straight
) night at TAM 8, with a large group of people at the bar. Many VIPs do make themselves accessible at conferences like TAM, but they are not going to come up and chat with you--you have to take the initiative.
Again, I don't want to suggest I think a singles' meet-up at TAM is a bad idea (and I hope I am not sounding preachy--that is not the intent), but just to say that there are many other, maybe better, ways to meet people there.
