TAM X - Singles n' Singles

[crazylegsmurphy]

There is no bullying going on, but when you describe skeptical meetings as "giant cock fights" and you call posters who disagree with you "skeptowolves" it's clear you're out to pick a fight. That last sentence saying that my issue is reading comprehension is further evidence of that. Simply an insult.

I suggested early on that maybe you should stay away from skeptic meetings if you hate us so much, and you just used that as another way to attack me.

I think what you're trying to do is clear to everyone. It's a waste of time to try to argue with you.

I don't hate all of you. I just find some of you pompous and negative.

 

[bumlet5]

So here’s what happened: Everyone started out thinking this was a great idea-

It's a good idea - pick a time and place, and tell people about it.

I suppose a singles event might be something I might attend.

I think your idea of organizing a meeting is great.

First of all, I have to say that I have nothing against organizing a singles' gathering at TAM. I think all the informal get-togethers that get organized around TAM are great--they can be a lot of fun, a great way to meet people, and add a lot to the whole TAM experience.

I wish you luck.

I will sign up for your event and look forward to it.

But you didn’t have a plan. People gave ideas and you turned all of them down one by one.


Just going up and talking to people-

I've gone solo the past two years, but have used the forums as a way to break the ice and get to know people. And walking up and saying 'hey' works too.

Yeah, what she said. It's really hard to run out of people to meet and mingle with at TAM.

know it may not be easy at first if you're alone and/or it's your first TAM, but, really, it's OK. Just try it once at the Del Mar and you'll see it's fine.

Depends who you are. It's difficult for some to just walk up to people and say, "hey."

Hey, fair enough. Not everyone can do that.


Hanging out in the bar-

Isn't that basically the Del Mar Lounge?

This is also my hesitation with Del Mar even though it seems to be the popular choice. As someone who doesn't drink, it's already a strange situation for me.

Well, you don’t have to drink, but okay.


Bowling-

Go bowling and reserve a big table for dinner, or anything, really.

Say the activity was bowling. You're pretty much forced to stick with the same three or four people, and the people in the lanes next to you, to a lesser extent, for the duration of the event. Wandering around is discouraged, as it could negatively affect the experience of the people you're playing with.

...you're probably right about bowling as well.

Other than being forced to interact with those three or four people...


Poker?

I can't imagine people who are so shy they can't sign up for poker or Fremont Street suddenly committing to an event that doesn't even have an event defined.

So, to turn this around...why wouldn't I go to the other events? Because poker friggin' sucks and I have no desire to do it.

Nope.


So you’re more of a “I’m not going to make the first move” person. Maybe First TAMmer buttons would be more your speed-

Phlebas probably has better examples, but the first way to meet people that comes to my mind is the "First TAMmer" buttons. They make an easy ice breaker.

Ya, I saw those "First TAMer" buttons....if that worked for some, then that's cool. I personally thought they were super lame.

Wait, what? The “I don’t have to put myself out there, strangers will come to me” approach is lame? Oy.


Then you get all ranty-

I came on here and proposed and idea for people meeting each other, and it has been criticized and insulted by some for the last two pages.

Not so much. We have given you ideas and you shot every one down.

for some reason some people have felt the need to shoot down this idea.

Nope.

To put it another way, there have been a few in this thread that have not been encouraging or supportive, and seem to be going out of their way to make myself and others feel unwelcome.

See the beginning of this response.

The Central Scrutinizer, no offence, but you really haven't been adding anything of value to this thread, your negativity is making me cranky, and now in the end you don't seem interested in attending anyway (if you ever did), so perhaps it might be a good time to find somewhere else to post. ya?

You really haven’t met Scrut before.


Name calling-

Edited by jhunter1163: 

Edited for civility.

Aaaaaaand you stomp off in a huff.

Alright...I'm done.


I have absolutely no interest in attending a conference with people like you.

But don’t hesitate to return with more insults-

It's juvenile

...all the dicks in this thread
-snip-
personally feel like there was a nice little gang mentality here.
-snip-
volatile and toxic environment.

No really, you should keep typing useless junk.

Maybe your issue is reading comprehension?

And here we are.

Any questions?

 

[crazylegsmurphy]

Sweet quote mining.

You know, it does leave out many of my explainations and reasons why I was interested in hearing more than the same suggestions I already knew about. But, I admire your attempt to spin it like I was just being totally unreceptive.

You might have a job on Fox news yet.

 

[AdMan]

Sweet quote mining.

You know, it does leave out many of my explainations and reasons why I was interested in hearing more than the same suggestions I already knew about. But, I admire your attempt to spin it like I was just being totally unreceptive.

You might have a job on Fox news yet.

Please elaborate on why you think that post was deceptive.

 

[crazylegsmurphy]

Please elaborate on why you think that post was deceptive.

Because I posted like a billion times the reasons why I was looking for more ideas. Because it cut out the fact that many of those suggestions were on the heals of some kind of, "everyone else seems to be ok with these events."

It cuts out every post I made explaining my reasons and what it meant for everyone. Plus, it left out the part where I said, while I'm not personally interested in some of those ideas, I want everyone to enjoy themselves and will go with whatever everyone else decides.

But nothing was decided because people continued to shoot down the idea, the reasons, and the people instead of coming up with alternative ideas.

 

[saganite]

Sweet quote mining.

You know, it does leave out many of my explainations and reasons why I was interested in hearing more than the same suggestions I already knew about. But, I admire your attempt to spin it like I was just being totally unreceptive.

You might have a job on Fox news yet.

But your "explanations and reasons" for wanting to crowdsource ideas for your event only make a difference to you. At the end of the day, it's still crowdsourcing. All anyone really wants to do is have the option to show up to your event and have a good time, without having being relied upon to plan and enthusiastically promote the whole thing themselves. This has nothing to do with skeptics being dicks and everything to do with how people make plans all over the world, everywhere.

Take some responsibility, already! This was your idea. YOU are the event host. Hosts don't simply say "Hey, let's have an event! What do you think?" and then leave it up to potential attendees to handle the details, time, location and enthusiasm-drumming.

If you want to be a host, be a host: research themes and ideas on your own, throw out a couple of the better choices, run with the one that seems to be getting the most positive feedback. If none get positive feedback, come back with more ideas and see if anyone's interested in those. I mean, four pages into this thread I still have no idea what the heck you're envisioning when you repeat, over and over, that you just want to "do something fun." Why not plan something YOU think is fun and just have faith that people who also think that thing sounds fun will come too?

 

[crazylegsmurphy]

But your "explanations and reasons" for wanting to crowdsource ideas for your event only make a difference to you. At the end of the day, it's still crowdsourcing. All anyone really wants to do is have the option to show up to your event and have a good time, without having being relied upon to plan and enthusiastically promote the whole thing themselves. This has nothing to do with skeptics being dicks and everything to do with how people make plans all over the world, everywhere.

Take some responsibility, already! This was your idea. YOU are the event host. Hosts don't simply say "Hey, let's have an event! What do you think?" and then leave it up to potential attendees to handle the details, time, location and enthusiasm-drumming.

If you want to be a host, be a host: research themes and ideas on your own, throw out a couple of the better choices, run with the one that seems to be getting the most positive feedback. If none get positive feedback, come back with more ideas and see if anyone's interested in those. I mean, four pages into this thread I still have no idea what the heck you're envisioning when you repeat, over and over, that you just want to "do something fun." Why not plan something YOU think is fun and just have faith that people who also think that thing sounds fun will come too?

Read back through this thread and tell me if I wasn't in the process of coming up wih ideas between defending the entire ideas from naysayers and negative nancies.

If you could check the Facebook event you couldmseemas well. Believe me, I was trying, but much of my energy was going towards endlessly explaining evey detail to trolls.

 

[saganite]

Read back through this thread and tell me if I wasn't in the process of coming up wih ideas between defending the entire ideas from naysayers and negative nancies.

If you could check the Facebook event you couldmseemas well. Believe me, I was trying, but much of my energy was going towards endlessly explaining evey detail to trolls.

I did read back through the thread, and here's what I saw a lot of examples of:

Someone: "I guess you could go with Option A..."
You: "I think that activity is lame."

Someone: "Plenty of people might enjoy Options B and C..."
You: "Not me. And I wouldn't want to hang out with people who did."

You: "How about this other option? What do people think?"
Various posters: "Sounds interesting; here are my reservations; merits more discussion. What else do we got?"
You: WHY DO YOU ALL KEEP SHOOTING DOWN MY IDEAS?

If you're spending time endlessly explaining details to trolls then yeah, I'd say that's a problem. But the people here are not trolls. Okay, so one of them is a troll.

 

[crazylegsmurphy]

I did read back through the thread, and here's what I saw a lot of examples of:

Someone: "I guess you could go with Option A..."
You: "I think that activity is lame."

Someone: "Plenty of people might enjoy Options B and C..."
You: "Not me. And I wouldn't want to hang out with people who did."

You: "How about this other option? What do people think?"
Various posters: "Sounds interesting; here are my reservations; merits more discussion. What else do we got?"
You: WHY DO YOU ALL KEEP SHOOTING DOWN MY IDEAS?

If you're spending time endlessly explaining details to trolls then yeah, I'd say that's a problem. But the people here are not trolls. Okay, so one of them is a troll.

Plenty of people enjoy sucking on a dildo in a hotel room and having random showers with strangers and you're wondering why I passed on the idea?

Anyway, you're not getting it and I grow tired of you missing the context

 

[bumlet5]

Plenty of people enjoy sucking on a dildo in a hotel room and having random showers with strangers and you're wondering why I passed on the idea?

Where was that idea? How did I miss it?

 

[crazylegsmurphy]

Compared to parties in someone's room, where you mingle, make snarky comments about the cheap bottle someone brought, watch guys deep throat chocolate phalluses, take a quick shower with someone new, hang with the smokers, snuggle with the Marquis, listen to Hitchens tell jokes that go nowhere... all of which have happened at previous TAMs.

Ya....not super interested.

 

[Horatius]

Ya....not super interested.

See, this right here is your problem.

Not interested in any of the things people already do at TAM to meet people? Fine.

Then tell us what you are interested in.


And "Meeting people who are in the same boat as me" is not an answer to that question. Let me use a paraphrase of one of my Professional Quotes here:

"There is a broad statement at the point of suggestion. The statement is so broad that it embraces all possible means without qualification for solving the problem facing the suggester, and is in fact no more than a restatement of the problem or desired result."

And let's add this one as well while I'm here:

"The claimed subject-matter is defined in terms of what the suggestion is not, rather than what it is, thereby causing a lack of clarity."


You hate bars, poker, bowling, dildos, showers, Scrut, and groups of people you don't know who are already engaging in conversation.

Okay, fine, but that still doesn't tell us what you do like. Naked Twister? Tiddlywinks? Full-Contact Euchre? Competitive Flower Arranging? We could list options for weeks without actually hitting on what you'd like to do.

Find something you do like, and organize that. Get the word out, and see who shows up. Maybe just possibly they won't qualify as "dicks" in your opinion.

 

[Lamuella]

I wonder... you've mentioned that you enjoy games like Warhammer. Could you use these games as an icebreaker?

 

[Phlebas]

And this is what sticks in my craw. You assume that just because we aren't into "your" events or "your" way of meeting people we are all a bunch of social rejects.

How dare you make that assumption. The fact that you took personal offense to others choosing to try something different is your shortcoming.

Someone comes on the forum and says they would feel more comfortable meeting people in a certain way, and your reaction is to take offense and then call me names?

What are you like five years old? What do you care if I hate every single one of you and want to meet with others and sit in a corner? What is it to you? If that is how I want to conduct myself who are you to tell me otherwise.

So, I'll say this again. Despite what you personally want to believe, I have explained that I'm not interested in listening to you tell me over and over again how personable you think you and the others are.

I was interested in positive suggestions. I was interested in meeting a group I would feel comfortable with and I had hoped this forum would be support enough to understand not everyone is like you, and not everyone wants to do things your way.

I had seven people signed up and I was totally cool with that. However the bullies on this forum just had to keep at it and keep telling us how dumb we were for not planning it the way they thought we should.

You might be right that there is a reading comprehension problem in this thread. You are likely wrong that it is shared by everyone here but you.

Let me try again with fewer words: no one objects to you planning something different. Many are defensive by your constant whining that what we already do simply isn't good enough for you.

Horatius asked what you want to do. It's a valid question. I know you've got the vast experience of ONE ENTIRE TAM behind you, but there may be people here who have even more and may be able to point you at something similar that already exists.

What appears to not be working is sitting back and demanding ideas, then taking pot shots at what everyone else suggests.

And don't tell me to reread this thread. I've read it plenty. Maybe you should reread it from our POV.

 

[zooterkin]

I wonder... you've mentioned that you enjoy games like Warhammer. Could you use these games as an icebreaker?

Probably not Warhammer itself, but I know for a fact that games you can play on a table in a bar would work.

 

[Phlebas]

I wonder... you've mentioned that you enjoy games like Warhammer. Could you use these games as an icebreaker?

So you're suggesting something like a game night? Does Kochanski know about this??

I think something like that would be great for getting a small group together. I'm sure it'll get shot down because there's no guarantee Kochanski will bring games that are good enough. But for socializing, the games are no more important than the alcohol at the Del Mar.

 

[Lamuella]

Probably not Warhammer itself, but I know for a fact that games you can play on a table in a bar would work.

Munchkin is a favourite amongst some of my friends.

 

[Hokulele]

There was also the official unofficial Sooper Sekrit meeting of Empirical, the unofficial official JREF World of Warcraft guild. We had a lovely Italian dinner and won Tol Barad at a local gaming lounge. It was completely uncool and a boatload of fun.

I agree with saganite, just pick something you like to do and do it. It's the whole "build it and they will come.". I have organized the downtown dinner Fremont Street Experience and the sushi lunch in the past, which basically consisted of starting a thread that stated, "I am going out for sushi on Thursday at 11:30. Anyone interested, meet me at the horse's ass."

 

[Horatius]

"I am going out for sushi on Thursday at 11:30. Anyone interested, meet me at the horse's ass."

But we've already established that he doesn't want to go near Scrut!

 

[Hokulele]

But we've already established that he doesn't want to go near Scrut!

I said "ass", not "dick".