StopSylvia email: "the coolest guy ever"

[RSLancastr]

I received the following email today, with the subject "You're probably the coolest guy ever"

Hello Mr. Lancaster,

My name is [name]. I'm 19 years old and just finished up my second year of college. I've recently found out that my mother's cancer has reached her heart and she really only has a couple weeks (at best) left to live. She is rapidly deteriorating.

I have always thought psychics like Sylvia Browne are frauds, but I never saw it as harmful before. I just figured everyone has to put food on the table somehow, regardless of how (dis)respectable their job may be.
Now that I know what piercing raw grief feels like, I am appalled that people like Sylvia prey on the grieving and despaired and pretend to know how to help them. I am saddened that people take her seriously. I'm thankful that neither I nor any of my family members have ever considered going to a psychic, but I'm really sad that other people feel that is the best option for them.

After reading all of your articles and doing more and more research, I have come to the conclusion that, at this point, I very highly doubt that Sylvia knows what grief feels like. That awful piercing hollowness in your heart, the constant endless train of thoughts, the loneliness even when you're around other people... that's something that can't be helped by much at all. The fact that Sylvia has herself convinced that she's helping all of these people really disgusts me. Grief is one thing, but tainting the memories of a loved one is something else entirely, and it's something of an art form which Sylvia appears to have mastered with the hand of a true virtuoso.

I'd like to thank you for putting your website out there. While I have not fallen victim to any psychics, many other people in my situation have, and I genuinely feel for them.
It has been my sincere hope for a while now that Sylvia actually takes the test that James Randi set her, but we all know that will never happen. Let's hope that someone knocks her off her high horse soon.

Regards,
[name]

So very sad. Doesn't sound like she needed the site, but I'm glad it helped to confirm for her what she had already pretty much figured out for herself.

I only post it here because

a) it made me feel very good (though sad), and

b) I don't recall ever receiving an email from someone in her situation before.

I'll post my reply in a few minutes.

 

[sadhatter]

I find grief tends to bring out your empathy for others quite a bit.

While normally i am a pretty anti psychic guy, i lost an uncle 2 years back, and during that time while i was experiencing all that crap, and in an emotionally vulnerable state, i found my mind flicking to the thousands of others who were in similar states and had some vulture take advantage of that.

 

[RSLancastr]

Here is my reply:

Ms. [name]:

Thanks so much. While I'm far from "the coolest guy ever", your email certainly cheered me up.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. But glad to hear that you and your family did not need my web site.

I think Browne is even worse than you say: I don't believe she really thinks she helps people, but I suppose it is barely possible that she has deluded herself into believing so for the past fifty years or so. Her fawning admirers would certainly reinforce that delusion if she indeed has it.

Thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. Stay as strong as you can during this awful time. and be there for your mother as much as you can during her final days. I am sure it will make them easier - for HER, anyway. And, I hope, will ease your memory of them in the years to come.

All my best to you and yours,

Robert S. Lancaster

 

[Brown]

It is a horrible thing to say, but unless Browne is indeed utterly deluded--essentially so mentally out of it that like a psychotic she cannot distinguish reality from fantasy--she could not harbor a reasonable belief that what she does is "help."

As others before me have said, a physician who tells terminal cancer patients that they will live full and long lives without pain, in the belief that such statements provide comfort and reassurance, cannot harbor any reasonable belief that such baseless assurances are in any way legitimate "help."

 

[RSLancastr]

I find grief tends to bring out your empathy for others quite a bit.

It certainly seems to have done so for my correspondent.

While normally i am a pretty anti psychic guy, i lost an uncle 2 years back, and during that time while i was experiencing all that crap, and in an emotionally vulnerable state, i found my mind flicking to the thousands of others who were in similar states and had some vulture take advantage of that.

I know what you mean. When my daughter was missing (and the evidence pointed to her likely being dead), I never for an instant considered seeking a psychic's help, but certainly came to understand very clearly why some people might under similar circumstances.

Likewise, my recent/current medical issues have made me understand all the more why some go to psychics, faith healers, etc., when in similar situations.

 

[RSLancastr]

It is a horrible thing to say, but unless Browne is indeed utterly deluded--essentially so mentally out of it that like a psychotic she cannot distinguish reality from fantasy--she could not harbor a reasonable belief that what she does is "help."

As others before me have said, a physician who tells terminal cancer patients that they will live full and long lives without pain, in the belief that such statements provide comfort and reassurance, cannot harbor any reasonable belief that such baseless assurances are in any way legitimate "help."

Well said, my friend.

 

[Ysidro]

I see you're writing your own emails now, Robert.

 

[RSLancastr]

I see you're writing your own emails now, Robert.

Yes, I wrote the reply.

The email in the OP was from a young woman.

Or, if you were joking that it would have to be me to refer to me as "the coolest guy ever", while I might flatter myself in many things, my "coolness" is not one of them.

 

[Minarvia]

I'm so glad to see that someone like her contacted you. As you said, she didn't really need your site. On the other hand, perhaps she did. If she had any doubts before, she certainly doesn't now.

My brother once told me, when we were discussing "psychics" to 'not get angry.' I told him that nothing ever changes if you DON'T get angry sometimes.

I don't mean homicidal angry...but still, anger can be healthy and even productive sometimes.

Well done!

 

[RSLancastr]

Thanks, Minarv!

 

[RSLancastr]

My brother once told me, when we were discussing "psychics" to 'not get angry.' I told him that nothing ever changes if you DON'T get angry sometimes.

I don't mean homicidal angry...but still, anger can be healthy and even productive sometimes.

Well done!

Yes. My Susan did not share nor even understand my anger at Edward, VanPraagh and Browne when we first met. But when StopKaz was wrapping up and I was looking for the focus of my next Stop Site, she heard me bitching and moaning about one of them again and said "If you really think they are hurting people, Stop complaining about it and do something about it!!

Stop Sylvia was the result.

So, yes - anger can be productive, if channeled properly.

 

[dropzone]

Your correspondent sounds like a natural for this joint. Maybe you could invite her.

And no, it's not because she's a 19-year-old coed. Who'd have to ask her grandparents what a "coed" was.

 

[RSLancastr]

I'm so NOT going to invite a 19-year-old woman to hang out with me.

 

[Apology]

I know what you mean. When my daughter was missing (and the evidence pointed to her likely being dead), I never for an instant considered seeking a psychic's help, but certainly came to understand very clearly why some people might under similar circumstances.

I hope everything worked out for the best (?)

 

[shandyjan]

I think the emailer is a nice example of being angry at the psychics and not the victims. (who arn't classed as victims by a lot of folk here.)
When I see a friend turning to charlatans because she isn't coping with losing her Dad...I feel like shaking her, she doesn't want to hear my naysaying, but its the psychic I want to tongue lash!

 

[Belz...]

Ouch. Please communicate my sincere sympathies to your correspondant. My mother's had cancer a few years back and the doctors didn't give her more than a year to live. They were wrong, fortunately, and now she's in full remission, but I can certainly understand her grief, and at such a young age.

 

[RSLancastr]

I hope everything worked out for the best (?)

I sorta left that hanging, didn't I? Sorry. My daughter was found several hours after having disappeared. After a trip to the ER, she was fine. Still is.

 

[RSLancastr]

I think the emailer is a nice example of being angry at the psychics and not the victims. (who arn't classed as victims by a lot of folk here.)
When I see a friend turning to charlatans because she isn't coping with losing her Dad...I feel like shaking her, she doesn't want to hear my naysaying, but its the psychic I want to tongue lash!

I know what you mean. But, without access to the psychic, it is sometimes the victim who takes the brunt of friends' and relatives' anger, when it is more properly directed at the psychic.

 

[The Central Scrutinizer]

I know what you mean. When my daughter was missing (and the evidence pointed to her likely being dead), I never for an instant considered seeking a psychic's help, but certainly came to understand very clearly why some people might under similar circumstances.

Did I miss this story somewhere along the line? You don't have to tell it, but you've piqued my curiosity.

 

[RSLancastr]

Did I miss this story somewhere along the line? You don't have to tell it, but you've piqued my curiosity.

I have mentioned it in passing a few times, but haven't gone into the details, out of respect for my daughter's privacy.