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So apparently I'm going to hell...

skeptiform5

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I have been invited by my friend to a group on facebook called 'so apparently I'm going to hell' which has a list of reasons ,stated by Mr. Micah Armstrong originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami, of why you can go to hell they include:
Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blond
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Being Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future.
Now for the big question... Who isn't going to hell?
 
According to South Park, the Mormons got it right. Everyone else is screwed. :D
 
According to that list, I'm gonna have me front row seats in the pit of everlasting fire. At least ten (including my favorite sin: guitar playing). Yeee Hawwww! ;)

For my next song, Stairway to Heaven (sorry if that topic has already been taken (as it has)). :D
 
(takes swig of her beer and pets one of her nine cats) I got 32 of the items on the list! I'm going first-class.
 
skeptiform5 said:
I have been invited by my friend to a group on facebook called 'so apparently I'm going to hell' which has a list of reasons ,stated by Mr. Micah Armstrong originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami, of why you can go to hell they include:

...
Being Blond
Being Fat
...
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
...
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future.
Now for the big question... Who isn't going to hell?
Click to expand...


The rest I get...kind of...almost...kind of...but these are just hilarious. The whole thing is hilarious, as a matter of fact.

Such famously anti Christian, wordly and hedonistic sinners like noted atheist Ann Coulter (blonde, woman with a job), famous anti Christian activist Jerry Falwell (gluttonous sinner), godless Tim Tebow (Sports player!), all the preachers and gospel singers on BET, Tyler Perry (Hollywood, BET, TV, music...and probably has a cat or a dog), The Fray, Halo, all the Christian musicians and musicians who happen to be devout Christians and all the actors and actresses who have ever thanked Jesus and God for an award are apparently all going to hell with you and me.

And I'm going several times over for being agnostic, a Catholic, a woman, having had a job once, drinking, having Itunes and a radio, having a cat, having had a weight problem in the past (you see, sinning in the past!) and thinking about being an atheist. Oh, and I played soccer and volleyball a few times in middle school gym class. Not that I liked it but I'd have failed gym class if I hadn't. I also thought about having a cigarette a few weeks ago...is that a sin twice over? Smoking and thinking of sinning?


Hehe:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=18626284240&ref=search&sid=777880051.2815301574..1
 
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Wasn't Jesus blond?

jesus.gif
 
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GreenLines said:
27 myself... if only I had a vagina.
Click to expand...

I missed a few because of that as well - no vagina (damn!).

Also, forgot to mention that the deepest pit of hell is reserved for guitar players who play 'Stairway to Heaven'. You can see signs of the blasphemy at many musical instrument stores:

 
Oh, I'm going too, but I want to - by the looks of that list, all of the fun people will be there.
 
skeptiform5 said:
list of reasons ,stated by Mr. Micah Armstrong originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami, of why you can go to hell they include:

Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blond
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Being Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future.
Click to expand...

Slow down, slow down, I'm still working on the last 5.
 
One person's reasons for going to Hell is another person's Bucket List.
 
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