Need a one-liner about astrology

[jimtron]

For something a bit more aggressive you could quote from Lucy Mangan's awesome anti-astrology rant in the Guardian, e.g.:

"I'm whatever sign whose prediction this week read, 'On Sunday, a friend who has masqueraded as a rational human being for the 15 years of your acquaintance will stand revealed before you as just another cack-brained, gibbering fool swirling in a festering cesspit of stupidity'."

Just found that--you're right, it is awesome, and very funny:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2005/jan/05/features11

 

[Hokulele]

Zodiac sign and traits: No relation.

Win!

 

[UnrepentantSinner]

"No dogs or Irishmen"

 

[nettiemoore]

Do you want the job ? Swallow it and ignore it: put your real sign there. Unless you value skepticism more than a regular salary that is. Usually that type of question anyway is limited to recruitment, and hiring, not to the internal working of a firm for medium and big firms. Be wary if it is a small firm because a single person could pervade the whole firm with its belief. But for emdium and big firm the chance are next to NIL. So swallow it ignore it and after you are hired, shrug it off.

Just to clarify, not that it really matters, I already work there. Have done so for more than five years, it isn't part of any assessment that will be applied to me as an employee.

It's just a "get to know your colleagues" thing that gets stuck on a wall near the kitchen that people might idly read on their way past, and in all my years I had avoided filling one out. I think that the zodiac thing is included amongst questions about my favourite book and holiday destination indicates the vibe. A lot of them have jokey answers for various questions and there was a fad for a while of people putting Steven Segal's picture on it instead of their own. So, I'm not fussed about it really, but also I couldn't bring myself to just grit my teeth and put "pisces."

 

[BTMO]

...I couldn't bring myself to just grit my teeth and put "pisces."

Ah HAH!!

That explains it!

 

[Wauthan]

First thing that popped into my mind.

"Your money: The stars have it."

 

[SlayerofCliffracers]

The one-liners of the average Skeptic proves they know next to nothing about Astrology.

Good one-liner.

 

[BTMO]

The one-liners of the average Skeptic proves they know next to nothing about Astrology.

It is bull ****.

What else do we need to know?

 

[catbasket]

I thought of "Ophiuchus, who are most likely to have heard of the precession of the equinox" but that's just obscure.

I really like that one. Educational ... I had to google 'Ophiuchus'.

Astrology: The science of trolling for asses.


Edit:

Just found that--you're right, it is awesome, and very funny:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2005/jan/05/features11

Last sentence from that link - "For astrology and the rest to flourish it is only necessary that those with an IQ in double figures do nothing."

 

[nathan]

Zodiac sign and traits: No relation.

yeah, I was looking at the question and wondering, why the form even asks about traits, as well as Zodiac[*] sign. But then, the author's probably not that good at deduction.

[*] They probably mean sun sign, btw.

 

[Delvo]

"For astrology and the rest to flourish it is only necessary that those with an IQ in double figures do nothing."

That's odd. The quote about good and evil has the good, the better/superior people, doing nothing. But double-digit IQs are below average, so this version has the inferior doing nothing.

 

[Pixel42]

That's odd. The quote about good and evil has the good, the better/superior people, doing nothing. But double-digit IQs are below average, so this version has the inferior doing nothing.

I think Lucy was suggesting that anyone who believes in astrology must have a single figure IQ.

 

[dafydd]

If I'm talking to believer in astrology and they ask me what my sign is I always say that it is not the birth sign that is important,it's the sign you were concieved under.If they take the bait and ask which sign I was concieved under I say 'Keep off the grass'.

 

[Fnord]

I said on mine, "Thelev, the Weaver ... patience, perseverence, and attention to detail." No one has questioned me on it.

Darn it...

 

[fishbob]

One is a placard on an inflatable watercraft, and the other is what an Alabama pet owner gives to his/her canine for being a "good dog", but that's not important right now.

Use this one, please.

 

[Piscivore]

So I have to fill out an employee profile for display -- Favourite Book and Movie, Who would you like to sit next to on a plane, What are you currently reading etc etc & blah.

But one is "Zodiac sign and traits."

Zodiac Sign:

Traits:
Enjoys long walks in the park, people watching, puzzles and games, and hunting.

 

[Prometheus]

Sponge Bob -- absorbent, yellow and porous.

 

[ksbluesfan]

This is off-topic, but it annoys me to no end that some websites (such as myspace) list your zodiac sign based on your date of birth and you can't remove it. Grrr.

 

[Tricky]

"The physician standing next to your mother exerted a greater gravitational effect on you than any of the stars or planets."


"What if you were going to be a Libra, but your mom's doctor had a golf game on that day and induced labor on September 20th, turning you into a Scorpio? The orbs that had the greatest influence on you were small and white, with dimples."

 

[Delvo]

It's really odd how often Zodiac stuff does show up, given how few people out there really care or would have any idea what it's supposed to mean anyway. Once they find out your sign, they wouldn't be able to say what it supposedly tells them about you, and will never think about it again after that for as many years as they know you. They'll most likely even forget it within a week. It's just a word to hear and recognize, and then do nothing else with.