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My challenge to atheists.

jzs said:
but they didn't, which means they lied, according to the timestamps.
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Ahem..... as I said before, I was moving at nearly the speed of light when I posted that. Sheeeesh!
 
DangerousBeliefs said:
WOW!

That was amazing. I have seen the light!

I turned down the lights and got done on my knees and I just prayed and prayed for an answer.

My eyes held tight, I began to see a light in the darkened room. Then the most beautiful music began to play and I heard it...

God's not here right now, but if you leave a message...
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*sob*

That's so beautiful.
 
1inChrist said:
I have a challenge for atheists.

Sit in a room alone and clear your mind. Get down on your knees and pray to God for at least 10 minutes. Connect with Him. Tell Him why you don't believe. Tell Him what prevents you from accepting His Son's sacrifice. Ask Him to show you that He exists. Tell Him that you are ready to be shown that He exists and that He loves you. Now close your eyes and wait for Him to give you the signs.

I think you'll be surprised.
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When I first saw this thread I thought “Aha! Something to make fun of!” as because it had been some time since I felt I had done any quality anti-trolling.

Seeing what the challenge actually consisted of, though, I began to have second thoughts. After all, it’s just ten minutes, right? I waste way more than ten minutes every day, so why not divert some of that irretrievable time to potential complete enlightenment and happiness? It would be a kind of diverse-strategy investment, based on Pascal’s Wager.

So I took out a blanket, spread it out on the hardwood floors in the domus_cannon so that my knees would have something nice and soft to sit on, got in a kneeling position, closed my eyes, put my hands together and thought the following:

“Umm... God, you there?

Oh yeah, that might not be your real name. Better use all the names I’ve heard you called.

Yahweh?

Jehovah?

Ahura Mazda?

Jesus?

Odin?

Jove?

Zeus?

Loki?

Alan Turing?

Umm... yeah there, big deity who runs everything, judges the souls of the dead and whatnot, if you’re there, I’m not going to ask you to make a sign or anything, ‘cause I vaguely recall a passage of the Bible saying I ought not do such things, so I’ll just kinda sit here waiting for Your voice in my head.”

And then it struck me: God’s voice counts as a sign.

The house settled a bit, and my feet were getting cold.

My calves started to get cold.

My head started to hurt where my hands were on them.

Still no sign from Alan Turing Yahweh Mazda Optimus Maximus one eye.

I’m really relaxed though.

My fingers are cold.

My face is chapped from untold numbers of kleenex.

My mind is a blank slate.

The external light is just a red mist showing through my closed eye lids. If I concentrate, I can pretend it’s not there. I’m feeling my back loosen up. It had been tight from all the walking to and from school I had been doing (seven miles).

My neck is cold.

My peripheral bits are starting to loose circulation, and it’s very uncomfortable.

I try contacting God, this time by voicing my opinion out loud:

“Um, yeah, God? You there man? I can’t say I feel that ridiculous doing this and all, but it’s getting uncomfortable. Anyhow, I would love it if you would tell me what to do with all the girls who keep calling. Oh yeah, and where to apply to college, and what to do about the allergies. Please keep in your infinite mind I don’t in the least believe in you.”

And then it became unbearable.

I got up. The light was really bright, and it had only been six minutes, four short. I also hadn’t said what I was supposed to, according to 1inChrist. So I tried again:

I went and turned the lights off, got in a nicer position, much more supine, put my hands together, and said out loud:

“Umm... God, I don’t really believe in you, and I vaguely recall I shouldn’t ask you to perform miracles and stuff like that, but it would be just peachy if you came out and demonstrated some omnipotence here.

Frankly, I don’t believe in you because the human experience is perfectly explainable in terms of a naturally derived primate stock that’s prone to being a bit of a jerk, no need for a being such as yourself. If you’re there, it’s because your that deist hit-and-run god who comes out of nowhere, creates the universe, and then escapes again without letting anyone know when or where you will hit again, or I’m just not looking in any of the right places.

Oh, and I don’t buy the bit about that Jesus Christ fellow, if indeed a historical entity even loosely referable to that name and the stories told about him existed being a facet of a three-faceted God, or even your divine messenger, because I feel that all the contemporary descriptions of him are clearly biased, and/or severely compromised in historical integrity due to unscrupulous translators and later, post hoc additions, and because I feel that he fails the description for the messiah on a number of points, and those that he does fit are typical prophecy that is intractably vague and can be retroactively shoehorned to fit events, if indeed the entire Jesus story wasn’t modified to fit the prophecies. Furthermore I don’t understand the necessity of a human sacrifice to absolve our sins when you’re supposed to be the omnipotent ruler of a deterministic universe.

I explain all the extraordinary claims of your many and diverse adherents as being simply wrong, retroactively shoehorned, or exploitations of human memeplexes and psychology to create a stable power structure in the form of religion. I hold them responsible for many atrocities in the name of religion, although to be fair political factors like omnipresent human greed and prejudice is probably to blame. I also find these atrocities to be most connotatively dissonant with your message, as I understand it to be written in the New Testament, which takes precedence over the Old Testament, where it doesn’t contradict itself. Oh, and it does that a lot.

Anyhow, I would be completely ready to follow you and all your rules, as best I could detangle them, if you were to give me proof positive that you exist. Please give me a sign.

...

Post Scriptum O Deus, since you’re all knowing, you know what would constitute irrefutable proof of your existence to my psychology better than I would, so send something that would knock my socks off. "

...

No sign.

I sat there, feeling just how sore my back was.

I was getting really relaxed, again.

I became aware of my expanding ribcage as I breathed. I thought about how bird’s rib cages hardly flex when they breathe.

My calves started to get cold, and my hands were cold.

I could feel my pulse, as blood was pumped by my four chambered heart around my body, especially in my head, which felt funny now that it was getting so much blood thanks to it’s being at the same height as my head.

My thighs started to feel warm, which I knew would proceed that nasty pins and needles feeling.

The computer’s fan whirled.

The random patterns I always see when I close my eyes were becoming very defined. Not even color, just wobbly patches of contrast.

My face felt chapped.

I thought about the new layer of snow outside.

I thought about what God would tell me to do with my life when he would turn up.

The pins and needles came on.

My lips suddenly felt chapped.

My ears felt particularly cold.

It was getting uncomfortable in this position.

My eyes felt swollen from a whole day of allergenic bombardment.

I decided that must have been more than ten minutes, got up, and checked the clock.

It had been sixteen, and not a single unusual thing I was aware of happened.

Back to the usual.
 
Re: Re: My challenge to atheists.

Lord Emsworth said:
What's "God?"
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He is that which created the Universe, which cannot create itself.

Simple enuf for you?

Ummm.

Wait a minute. I just thought of something.

Who created God? Notify the philosophers immediately!
 
1inChrist said:
I have a challenge for atheists.

Sit in a room alone and clear your mind. Get down on your knees and pray to God for at least 10 minutes....
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I gave God 10 minutes. I gave God an hour a week for 20 years. I spent much time honestly wanting to believe. Well, God didn't show.

So, either God thinks its really funny to stand-up poor fools like me, or else He's got me predestined to Hell anyway, and I shouldn't waste my remaining precious non-Hell time trying your stupid experiment.
 
1inChrist said:
I have a challenge for atheists.

Sit in a room alone and clear your mind. Get down on your knees and pray to God for at least 10 minutes. Connect with Him. Tell Him why you don't believe. Tell Him what prevents you from accepting His Son's sacrifice. Ask Him to show you that He exists. Tell Him that you are ready to be shown that He exists and that He loves you. Now close your eyes and wait for Him to give you the signs.

I think you'll be surprised.
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Sat in my room alone, cleared my mind after 3 minutes of breathing excercises, prayed for a total of 30 minutes. No answer.
 
Here's the central fallacy of 1in's posts:

This yobbo thinks that by merely spewing more and more religious drivel, if he throw enough sh** on the wall, enough of it might stick. Ain't gonna happen.

This guy does NOT believe in any god. He cannot accept the idea that "God" might have different ideas than he does. He doesn't get the idea that if he's a free agent, so is his god.

His God's too small.
 
1inChrist said:
I have a challenge for atheists.

Sit in a room alone and clear your mind. Get down on your knees and pray to God for at least 10 minutes. Connect with Him. Tell Him why you don't believe. Tell Him what prevents you from accepting His Son's sacrifice. Ask Him to show you that He exists. Tell Him that you are ready to be shown that He exists and that He loves you. Now close your eyes and wait for Him to give you the signs.

I think you'll be surprised.
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I did this. After 5 minutes I farted. It smelled so bad, that I had to flee the room.

Does that mean I am at least half saved? :confused:
 
Re: Re: My challenge to atheists.

The Central Scrutinizer said:
I did this. After 5 minutes I farted. It smelled so bad, that I had to flee the room.

Does that mean I am at least half saved? :confused:
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It's a sign from God telling you to change your diet.
 
Nyarlathotep said:
I'll do it if you promise to sit down in a quiet room for 10 minutes and explain to Santa why you don't beleive in him. Maybe even write it down as a letter and send it to him at he North Pole.

I think you'll be surprised at the results.
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I think so too. Considering that Santa lives in Greenland.... :p
 
Donks said:
The Finns are pretty adamant he lives in their country.
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Not all. I'm not.

The Finnish claim was started by a radio children's show jockey in 1927 and it took a generation to spread. I'd rather wish that we would still have the old pre-Santa tradition of people dressing as goats around Christmas. The only thing left of it is the name of Santa: "Joulupukki" - The Christmas Goat.

If the Santa Claus should have some home place, that is neither Korvatunturi nor North Pole nor Greenland but Spain since that's where the old Dutch believed he lives (or so I have been told) and the modern Santa has grown from the Dutch stories.
 
Look at the dateline folks...

you know what i tried it again and suddenly I heard this great big booming voice and i was shure it was God! he was speeking in latin and he seid that:

"Sum deus. In capute unius in Christo est nihil. "

and i knew that i should give in to Him and know God in a biblical way and eschew evil a-theistic rules like punctuashun and spelling in favor of fonetic Christ affirming rants on rapture ready!

so unless you want to burn in hell for the rest of eternity i suggest that you leave this forum of hatred towards the trinity and learn to love jesus!

halleluyah i have seen the light. god is the ubermensch and we must follow him and not some satanic cult leader like james randi (if that even is his real name which it isnt)!!!

i dont even know if you will believe me but you have to or else we cant raze up the word of god! abandon your faith in fallaceous satantic distortions like evolutionism and abortion and liberalism and learn good christian morals like transubstantiation and geocentrism!!! we have to learn to work together to defeat the atheist majority in our christian country that try to undermine our straiway to heaven!

(LMAFAO)
 
Meadmaker said:
My challenge to Buddhists:

Sit in a room. Clear your mind. Of everything. Don't talk to God. Or to anything else. Don't ask anyone why they exist, but if you happen to be distracted by anything, become mindful that it exists. If you absolutely must think about something, think about why you think that there is a "you" that is separate from anything else.

If it almost works, you will be surprised by the results. However, if it works completely, you will not be surprised.
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Hey, you are giving away "our" secrets for free!!! ;)
 
1inChrist said:
Tell Him why you don't believe.
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This is an always present idea in fundamentalist circles, that we do not want to believe. And it is an absolutely absurd assumption.
 
Bodhi Dharma Zen said:
Hey, you are giving away "our" secrets for free!!! ;)
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Sort of. But unless you were one of us, you wouldn't notice.

But I was happy to see that someone noticed.
 
CFLarsen said:
I think so too. Considering that Santa lives in Greenland.... :p
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Hey, you better stop badmouthing Santa or when Christmas comes you'll get the LUMP OF COAL in your stocking. What are you going to do when Christmas morning comes and you are facing nothing but the LUMP OF COAL ?

I am just trying to save you from such a fate.
 
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