Loch Ness Monster Is Probably Eels

[theprestige]

Any of them. It doesn't matter. The point of the OP and the article linked therein is that if someone sees Nessie, they've probably seen eels.

And I think "probably seen eels" is a poorly-supported claim. Precisely because it doesn't look at any specific, documented claims, and try to explain why those claims are more likely to be eels than anything else (or nothing at all).

And the point of the rest of the thread is that it might also have been something else. Exactly which purported sighting is eels is utterly beside the point.

I think it's textbook unreason to say that sightings are "probably eels" without saying which sightings, specifically, you're talking about. We have many examples of specific, documented sightings that are probably not eels.

I don't think we have even one specific, documented sighting that has been attempted to be explained as more likely eels than anything else.

Meanwhile, the Great Nessie Hunt from the weekend went pretty much as expected:

Nessie hunters hear sounds but fail to record them

Let me guess: Probably eels?

 

[Andy_Ross]

We all know it's aliens.
A four part documentary was made about it in the 70s

 

[GlennB]

We all know it's aliens.
A four part documentary was made about it in the 70s

Giant alien eels? It begins to make sense ...

 

[arthwollipot]

Let me guess: Probably eels?

Maybe. I don't know what kind of noises eels make. But an unidentified underwater bloop sound could be almost anything.

 

[Gulliver Foyle]

Perhaps Nessie is a huge primordial set of bagpipes. The bag might show as humps, a pipe as a long neck.

I have visited the monster center in Drumnadrochit, and the displays were surprisingly candid about how such things as seiche waves (the loch is particularly structured to produce these), birds or otters, and even floating tree stumps could easily be perceived as something weird. A short video clip of a floating log looked amazingly like some critter poking its head up for a quick dekko at the tourists. We asked one of the Sots running the place if the locals believed in the monster, and he replied, "Not as much as visitors do!"

Very appropriate typo.

 

[catsmate]

We all know it's aliens.
A four part documentary was made about it in the 70s

And another about the second monster in '855.

 

[Spektator]

Very appropriate typo.

What typo? Up there the usquebaugh flows like water.

 

[Apathia]

Maybe it's a big smackin sturgeon.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/worl...1&cvid=e1b68da1e853459db705f0f9723ac0dc&ei=11

 

[Axxman300]

Maybe it's a big smackin sturgeon.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/worl...1&cvid=e1b68da1e853459db705f0f9723ac0dc&ei=11

Obviously a sturgeon fighting an eel. There's some kind of aquatic war going on and the media is covering it up.

 

[Checkmite]

Loch Ness monster could be a giant eel, say scientists

Personally I think the many-eel theory is more likely than the giant-eel theory. What do you think?

Old thread; but in my opinion, no it's not eels, giant or many. I think the Loch Ness monster has been a floating log or stick a handful of times, and the rest of the time was just a consciously made-up story.

 

[catsmate]

Old thread; but in my opinion, no it's not eels, giant or many. I think the Loch Ness monster has been a floating log or stick a handful of times, and the rest of the time was just a consciously made-up story.

How about a mini-sub used by monster hunters, displaced back in time

 

[GlennB]

Radioactive mutant eels?

 

[Steve]

"Shrieking eels are carnivorous sea-dwelling creatures that inhabit the waters near Florin. They produce loud shrieking noises that steadily grow louder when about to feed on their favorite food: human flesh. Buttercup discovers this when she jumps overboard on Vizzini's ship, to escape her kidnappers. The eels circle around her, enjoying the thought of a fresh meal, and move in for the kill. But Fezzik pounds an approaching eel and pulls Buttercup safely back on the ship before the creatures can get a bite."

https://princessbride.fandom.com/wiki/Shrieking_eel

 

[Apathia]

Has anyone considered seals.
Gravy seals.

 

[Gord_in_Toronto]

Has anyone considered seals.
Gravy seals.

Makes as much sense as gravy boats. I guess.

 

[gnome]

Makes as much sense as gravy boats. I guess.

That's how the gravy seal teams are transported.

 

[TragicMonkey]

Maybe. I don't know what kind of noises eels make.

Eels produce several noises:

1. Mating call: sounds like a kitten sleeping at the bottom of an elevator shaft
2. Distress call: sounds like an orange being grated into a bowl of sour cream
3. Call to alert other eels to food: sounds like a pint of gasoline stored carefully in your neighbor's antique chifforobe
4. Purr of contentment: sounds like a drawing of a flock of crows being used as a bookmark in a large print copy of Green Mansions
5. Special Xmas eel greeting: sounds like starlight reflecting off toast smeared with ketchup
6. Noise to express surprise at stock market investment outcomes: sounds like the stern glare of a middle-aged geometry teacher wearing mismatching shoes who just caught a student picking their nose in class

Use this handy guide to identify your eel's noises and respond accordingly; remember that the key to a happy pet is goood communication without mkaing mistkaes. Otherwise your eel will kill you and eat all of your skin and bones but leave everything else completely untouched.