Computer's playing nice now. Or nicer anyway. Luckily these things come with a little DvD that resets everything to right-out-of-the-box. It's a slightly older version of windows, but I can worry about that later. I should have Ubuntu installed before I even go to work this afternoon.
#EDIT: All right. I'm in Ubuntu now. Not gonna have time to muck around in it... time to go to work =\
#EDIT2: Ok. Tonight I might just make Ubuntu the main OS now that I know I can get it running with little difficulty. I can get to the GUI, I've familiarized myself with it quite a bit. Then I just need to figure out how to install hardware and drivers and the like. I've got a monitor plugged into the laptop that Ubuntu didn't seem to see, so I'll have to sort that out as well. Considering I just did a full whack/reload, I might as well go full Ubuntu as I won't lose anything. If I'm going to learn a full system, I may as well go full immersion with it!
That's also sort of how I got into it. I tried Ubuntu as a dual boot, but after trying to remove Ubuntu from the disk because I didn't like it enough, I found out (and I think many people will know what comes next) that I couldn't access Windows any more. All I got was a GRUB error. After failing to find a way to mend it (I was using illegal Windows XP at the time, so no hope of recovering), I used a tiny laptop for a while.
After a considerable time of using the laptop, I made the bold move of completely removing Windows, and installing Ubuntu instead. it was probably not the best experience of Linux, since not all the hardware was fully supported (I used a 5/4 screen ratio in stead of the standard 4/3 for some time, because the highest resolution was in 5/4), but really, immersing myself in Ubuntu gave me a sense of freedom and adventure (I was venturing into an area nobody I knew at the time had really gone), it also brought with it the same feeling I had when I first learned to ride a bicycle, the feeling that at any moment, any action can cause you to crash. The feeling is justified though, that is, until you get to know what certain parts of certain commands mean, and where certain settings for programs are stored. Also, getting a god sense of how synaptic package manager works helped a lot.
To me, it was very much like exploring an unknown piece of land, on a different planet, in a different reality; some of the rules you know apply, but you need to learn a heck of a lot more to get along.
Cheers