I imagine your MIL still is listed as inactive on the church rolls. I wonder when they purge the records, by assuming people are dead. Do they have to have been born 100 years earlier? 150? That would be another great way to pad the membership numbers.
Congrats to your husband and his family for leaving, esp having been raised in the church. Not always an easy thing to do.
Both harder and easier than you'd expect. Here's a Mormon story for you all: my mother and father in law both grew up in rural Alberta, Canada. Tiny town, less than a thousand people. Founded by Mormons, 100% LDS. (The pop. is slightly larger today, but I think the Mormon percentage is still in the high nineties-at least it was when we lived there 13 years ago. The town is very near Cardston, which has an LDS temple.) When my MIL was 18, she went out on a first date with my FIL. It ended somewhat unusually for a first date-today, we would call it "date rape", in that time (1942) and that place, it was referred to as a young man "getting a little carried away." She became pregnant. Marriage, according to the LDS church, was the mandatory next step, and there was intense pressure applied from the church, the members, the families. I don't think my MIL wanted that, but she did want her baby, and she had nowhere else to go. Hard enough, when you are 18, to withstand that kind of pressure without a tiny dependent thrown into the mix.
I believe my mother in law always had doubts about the LDS Church, but circumstances forced her into a facade of a "follower". In other words, when you live and work in a tiny predominantly Mormon town, it's pretty hard to buck the trend. While she certainly never lacked in courage, the repercussions of leaving the church, at that time, weren't something she was equipped to handle. I'm neither excusing or apologizing for her - it was what it was. FWIW, she was never a Jack Mormon. She paid her tithe, attended services regularly, volunteered for the multitude of activities required of LDS members, took her children to seminary and Sunday school, and was, overall, a good Mormon wife and mother. I think, knowing her, she tried very hard to believe and be dutiful, regardless of her inner doubts, until she just couldn't stomach it anymore.
(That hasn't changed-when we moved to the same town in 1995, to care for my FIL, the first question we were asked by a prospective landlord was if we were "members". Never believe some Mormons don't practice religious discrimination.)
Nineteen years and seven children later, the family moved to Whittier, Calif. As soon as they did, my mother in law and her children dropped out of the LDS Church. My FIL continued to attend sporadically, but he was, unlike her, always a half hearted member at best. He claimed LDS when it suited him, kept mum when it didn't. Ironic, since he remained in the church and she didn't. Shortly before their 31st anniversary, he had an affair, and she threw in the towel and filed for divorce. Thankfully, she was able to spend her final years free of both the church and an emotionally abusive marriage.
Yes, that was me. Or at least, I'm one who made that comment, others might have as well. But it's a sore point with me, since the LDS are always crowing about how much they do for the poor, and with their welfare program. It's clear that, percentage-wise, they simply don't do much at all. And that's using the numbers that they themselves release. They state the amount they give to the poor, but couched in figures over a decade, so it sounds much larger than it really is. When you break it down, and approximate how much the church rakes in every year, the amount is downright shameful. I just made out my mother's tithing slip yesterday and wrote her monthly check to the church, and I'm still seething a bit.
Disgusting.
We had a Mormon neighbor in Canada who lived in a very old house. She was excited when the Church came and put a new roof on her house, because she couldn't afford it. I couldn't help but think, even though she claimed the church did it for her, that after forty years of paying her tithe, she'd actually paid for the roof herself several times over. Not quite so charitable when looked at in that light.
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