John McCain Quotes

[ProbeX]

Nope. The punch line to that joke is

She looks at the doctor with a tear in her eye and says:

"He never writes."

I've been telling that joke for nigh on thirty years. It's older than I am, possibly older than my grandfather.

DR

Not trying to bate you, I truly am curious: What is so funny about it?

 

[Darth Rotor]

I still don't get it.

The joke works better when told in person, and maybe McCain can't tell a joke well, or maybe he didn't tell that joke, and maybe he changed the punchline for reasons unknown.

It only works once.

DR

 

[dirtywick]

Best I can figure is it's because apes can't write? The rape part seems pretty unnecessary if that's the corny punchline.

 

[Darth Rotor]

Not trying to bate you, I truly am curious: What is so funny about it?

Given that you can't spell bait, how can one expect you to get the joke? As is well known, explaining a joke tends to kill it, as does having to explain it.

ETA: @ dirtywick

OK, I'll explain the joke to the humorless skeptics who have forgotten the old adage: dirty jokes are fun. (This is a variation on Tom Lehrer's "Dirty Books Are Fun!" lead in to his song Smut.) You got half of the effectivness of the punchline, which the rest didn't get at all.

Best I can figure is it's because apes can't write? The rape part seems pretty unnecessary if that's the corny punchline.

In its original form, the joke requires getting that the old lady = spinster = never had it. The ape was not only her first time, it was her best time ever. The sick side of the joke is that it took such a drastic event to introduce her to that element of life. That he then played the "Eff her and forget her" (as she sees it, and as her mother warned her all those years ago) is one of the themes of a man who is a cad, who effs them and forgets them, added to the stereotypical grandmotherly complaint that sons and grandsons never write, added to the fact that the ape can't write, and thus never would. This means that the candle that she may hold for him, having been her first and best time ever (see sick element of the joke, again) will seem to her to be held in vain due to his being a typical male cad who "never writes" or even sends flowers, says thank you for the lovely evening, et cetera.

As I said, having to explain a joke often kills it. It plays upon somewhat outdated tropes and assumptions. It also isn't for people who don't know how to use laughter to deal with a nasty problem. Ya know, the humorless, wilfully so, of our allegedly enlightened, modern age.

DR

 

[dirtywick]

Alright, here's one:

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?"



Oh yeah, the horse was raped earlier.

 

[joobz]

Alright, here's one:

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?"



Oh yeah, the horse was raped earlier.

holy crap, you got me with that one!

 

[ProbeX]

The first quote I have no business commenting on, and neither do you. I think it rather tasteless to get in between a husband and wife spat, except in cases of abuse.

Last time I checked commentary was allowable in discussions LOL. Your attempt at deflecting from McCain's mean-spirited behavior won't work. It is every voter's right to assess a candidate's behavior and decide whether or not it merits alarm. A man who has poor impulse control and says mean, disrespectful things about those closest to him represents a red flag for some. Lack of control and ill-temperament are all things to consider in assessing whether or not a POTUS can handle diplomatic affairs and work well with other officials, in general.

... as for the second, it was definitely tasteless and stupid. I think he was wrong for that.

That was my point. Thanks for conceding.

I do not fault a POW holding animosity towards his captors. And it seems that "gooks" doesn't mean asians to him.

If he'd gotten beaten by Haitians during their upheaval, I'd not expect that it's okay for him to say he'll always hate all "n!ggers" ... "but that doesn't mean Blacks". Come on.

BTW, I do not plan on voting for McCain ...

Good to hear.

 

[Darth Rotor]

Alright, here's one:

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?"

Oh yeah, the horse was raped earlier.

I cannot recommend strongly enough that you read Stranger in a Strange Land, and find out what a Martian discovers is one of the greatest virtues of laughter.

You didn't get it, did you? As soon as you tell yourself that "you can't laugh or joke about subject X" you have censored yourself far worse than any government ever could.

DR

 

[ProbeX]

Given that you can't spell bait, how can one expect you to get the joke? As is well known, explaining a joke tends to kill it, as does having to explain it.

You meant, given that you can't spell "bait". You see you needed quotes to accurately correct my writing, you dolt.

Now aside from the infantile ad hominem attack that you based on a single typo ...

What a lame "joke".

 

[dirtywick]

I cannot recommend strongly enough that you read Stranger in a Strange Land, and find out what a Martian discovers is one of the greatest virtues of laughter.

You didn't get it, did you? As soon as you tell yourself that "you can't laugh or joke about subject X" you have censored yourself far worse than any government ever could.

DR

Hey, the joke wasn't funny. What do you want me to do?

I'm not that kind of guy that gets all huffy over little stuff like that.

 

[joobz]

I cannot recommend strongly enough that you read Stranger in a Strange Land, and find out what a Martian discovers is one of the greatest virtues of laughter.

You didn't get it, did you? As soon as you tell yourself that "you can't laugh or joke about subject X" you have censored yourself far worse than any government ever could.

DR

Oh, come on, DR.
That, "oh yeah, the horse was raped earlier." was priceless. That's funny!

 

[BeAChooser]

The initial combat? When did combat ever end?

You understood what I meant by "initial combat". Mission accomplished was when when the Iraqi army collapsed as an organized force and we could start the process of rebuilding Iraq's government, security forces and infrastructure. And McCain was accurate, unlike many on your side of this debate, about how long it would take to get to that point.

And my party? I'm not quite suite the Socialistische Partij Anders made that detailed statements about the war in Iraq.

My personal opinion is that socialists in Belgium should butt out of our election and mind their own business.

They were SO greeted as liberators by the Iraqis that the war continues up to five years later.

Do you really think the war continued because of the people who welcomed our troops and their liberation in large numbers? Are you that out of touch with what went on in Iraq? What can I say if you choose to simply ignore the MANY media outlets that reported the welcome our troops received. Even French radio reported it.

Face it, McBush sold the war to the American people by claiming it would be a cakewalk and it turned out to be a catastrophe.

Well it's already clear that McCain was right about what it would take to defeat the Iraqi Army. And you haven't a clue what Bush told Americans to expect because you apparently read anything he said or wrote at the time. You just believe whatever garbage your little socialist party's propaganda organ is spewing out for you today. And Iraq hasn't been a catastrophe ... it's turning out to be a great victory that our soldiers look on with great PRIDE ... an emotion the Obama side of this house (which apparently includes you, even though you can't vote in our election) can't understand because apparently they haven't felt pride in America for 30 years.

McCain's first visit to Iraq was in August 2003. He kept making ignorant and false statements (about the way the war was fought) up until at least December 2005

Actually, he consistently said that we were fighting the war the wrong way and that we needed to deal with it using better counterinsurgency tactics. But then I don't expect you are aware of that because I suspect you weren't even aware that McCain's first visit to Iraq was in August 2003 until I told you.

Decisively winning?

1) Sectarian violence is way done from a year ago.

2) al-Sadr's Iranian backed militia no longer controls any Iraqi regions and it's leader has fled the country to Iran.

3) al-Qaeda's top Iraqi leadership is either dead, captured or has fled the country (apparently for Afghanistan). al-Qaeda is having trouble recruiting in Iraq, and may not be sending new recruits from elsewhere to Iraq any longer.

4) US and Iraqi casualties are way down.

5) Iraq's security forces are nearly up to full strength, increasingly well trained, performing well in combat, and close to taking over responsibility for all regions of Iraq outside a few military specialties.

6) Iraq has made significant political progress and continues to demonstrate it's government is respected by the people and able to weather crises and elections.

7) Iraq's economy is starting to boom, and not just in Kurdish areas. Foreign investors are now wanting to invest in Iraq.

Gee ... I'd call that pretty decisive. And a pretty good definition of winning too. Certainly compared to what Iraq would look like now if we'd followed Obama's advice back in 2007 to cut and run by March of 2008.

The surge was a complete disaster

Ok, I see there really isn't a need to debate you any longer. Statements like that are sure to make even Obama supporters wary of your claims. Maybe you should go back to worrying about Belgium's politics. And thank God that you don't have to speak German thanks to Americas willingness to liberate oppressed people. Or be ungrateful. I don't care one way or the other.

 

[Cain]

Nope. The punch line to that joke is

She looks at the doctor with a tear in her eye and says:

"He never writes."

This is better than what McCain probably said, but it's still a crappy joke. Anyway, I have a way better one:

A man is sitting watching a football game. He says to his wife, "Get me a beer." She says, "Get your own damn beer." He says, "I told you to get me a beer." She replies, "I'm not getting you a beer. Get off the couch and get it yourself." He says to her, "If you don't get me a beer right now, you're not going to see me for three days." She says, I"m not getting you a beer."

Sure enough, the first day the woman doesn't see her husband. She doesn't see him on the second day. By the third day the swelling has gone down enough that she can open one eye...

 

[BeAChooser]

Irrelevant.

You think it's irrelevant that the blogger whose page you cited as your source for a supposed joke by McCain about rape is a hypocrite?

You're not very bright, Columbo. When witnesses put together a joke they will most likely NOT get the exact wording.

I have no idea what those "witnesses" actually said. And neither do you. Because the author who claims he made this quote admits that what she quoted were not McCain's words. All she could say was that he said "SOMETHING" about rape.

But multiple independent sources retelling an offensive joke

I challenge you to come up with another source for this claimed quote other than Norma Coile. Every link I found quotes her. So go ahead, prove there were actually "multiple independent sources". If you can't prove it, we can only conclude you're a liar or that you misunderstand the definition of independent sources.

There's no sense reasoning with you though. What if you accepted 100% that he said it?

Well first you have to prove he said it. And you haven't. If you can rolleyes, then my challenge will be for you to prove the people who are bleating the loudest about this aren't hypocrites. My bet is they supported Bill Clinton through thick and thin, regardless of what they learned about Bill. NOW members included.

I am not a Democrat, and I have never voted for a Democrat for Senate, Governor, or President. You're ****ing deranged.

Really? Then I take it you just don't like McCain?

 

[Smackety]

yuck

 

[Tsukasa Buddha]

My personal opinion is that socialists in Belgium should butt out of our election and mind their own business.

Yeah, you damn foriner! We don't want no outside opinions.

 

[BeAChooser]

Originally Posted by BeAChooser
Did you even bother to read what the original source of the claimed McCain quote said? Let me repeat that: "I'm not sure exactly what the wording was of the joke".

Yes. it's circumstantial.

No it's not. The reporter wrote an article with a direct quote with very specific language. Without telling the readers she didn't really know what McCain said. Only when later queried ... after leftists throughout the country had run with the story on blog after blog ... did the author admit to not actually knowing what McCain said. Her description is that he said "something" involving rape. I call that dishonesty. A clear indication of a hit piece by her that did exactly what it was supposed to do ... motivate a bunch of hypocritical sheep to dislike McCain.

 

[BeAChooser]

Originally Posted by BeAChooser
... who jokes that we should ship over some cigarettes to the Iranians to speed up their deaths (I can provide that link, it you'd like)? Who has stated many times that he hates "gooks" (that'd be Asians) and always will?

I never said that.

 

[joobz]

I never said that.

You are correct. I'm sorry about that.
A cut/paste mistake.
ETA: It's fixed.

 

[joobz]

No it's not. The reporter wrote an article with a direct quote with very specific language. Without telling the readers she didn't really know what McCain said. Only when later queried ... after leftists throughout the country had run with the story on blog after blog ... did the author admit to not actually knowing what McCain said. Her description is that he said "something" involving rape. I call that dishonesty. A clear indication of a hit piece by her that did exactly what it was supposed to do ... motivate a bunch of hypocritical sheep to dislike McCain.

You don't know that McCain didn't say it. Just like you don't know what was in those trucks...