Jesus created Sex

Jesus created other stuff

First published in Journal of the American Medical Association Jan 31 1942:

There was a young man of Black Bay
Who thought syphilis just went away,
And felt that a chancre
Was merely a canker
Acquired in lascivious play.

Now first he got acne vulgaris,
The kind that is rampant in Paris,
It covered his skin
From forehead to shin,
And now people ask where his hair is.

With symptoms increasing in number,
His aorta's in need of a plumber,
His heart is cavorting,
His wife is aborting,
And now he's acquired a gumma.

Consider his terrible plight--
His eyes won't react to to the light
His hands are apraxic,
His gait is ataxic,
He's developing gun-barrel sight.

His passions are strong, as before,
But his penis is flaccid, and sore,
His wife now has tabes
And sabre-shinned babies--
She's really worse off than a whore.

He aches from his head to his toes,
His sphincters have gone where who knows,
Paroxysmal incontinence
With all its concomitants,
Brings forth unpredictable flows.

Though treated in every known way,
His spirochetes grow day by day,
He's developed paresis
Converses with Jesus
And thinks he's the Queen of the May.


- Reprinted in "The Limerick," edited by G. Legman.
[\quote]
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Macoy said:
First published in Journal of the American Medical Association Jan 31 1942:

There was a young man of Black Bay
Who thought syphilis just went away,
And felt that a chancre
Was merely a canker
Acquired in lascivious play.

Now first he got acne vulgaris,
The kind that is rampant in Paris,
It covered his skin
From forehead to shin,
And now people ask where his hair is.

With symptoms increasing in number,
His aorta's in need of a plumber,
His heart is cavorting,
His wife is aborting,
And now he's acquired a gumma.

Consider his terrible plight--
His eyes won't react to to the light
His hands are apraxic,
His gait is ataxic,
He's developing gun-barrel sight.

His passions are strong, as before,
But his penis is flaccid, and sore,
His wife now has tabes
And sabre-shinned babies--
She's really worse off than a whore.

He aches from his head to his toes,
His sphincters have gone where who knows,
Paroxysmal incontinence
With all its concomitants,
Brings forth unpredictable flows.

Though treated in every known way,
His spirochetes grow day by day,
He's developed paresis
Converses with Jesus
And thinks he's the Queen of the May.


- Reprinted in "The Limerick," edited by G. Legman.
[\quote]
Click to expand...

:D

I'm so sleep deprived that all I can think of is this limerick from Douglas Hofsteder:

There once was a man from St. Bees
Who was stung in the arm by a wasp
When asked, "Does it hurt?"
He said "No it doesn't"
"I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet."

.
.
.
crickets
.
.
badaboom.

think it's from Godel, Escher Bach

nope.

There once was a man from St. Bees
Who was stung on the arm by a wasp
When asked, "Does it hurt?"
He replied, "No it doesn't;
But I'm glad that it wasn't a hornet."

(Shamelessly stolen from Douglas Hofstadter's Metamagical Themas.)
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Davidjayjordan said:
yes rand you are humor imparied when you continually think torture is funny and crucifixion is funny. And do notice how your friends won't even back you up or chide you for such foolish remarks.

If you had been tortured or had nails driven in you, you wouldn't think crucifixion is funny. You just are either so closed minded, or inexperienced or untruthful or foolish, or hardheaded that you just don't get it.

I repeat crucifixion is not funny. Torture is not funny.

Who else thinks torture is funny and something to laugh about.
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Gary Larson and the guy who wrote Wizard of Id, as well as Monty Python all did.
 
Davidjayjordan said:
No species has ever changed from being that species. there is ZERO evidence to support such a wild wild claim.

Horses have gottern taller, people have gotten taller, but that is within the frame work of their genome. Horses have never changed into people, or vice versa.

Natural selection weeds out the week and the DIFFERENT. A supposed mutant that supposedly retained resessive mutations millions of years to eventually wait for millions of other recessive mutations to finally bring in a NEW breed of man horse, just has never happenned except in the minds of the evolutionary CHURCH. They have such Faith in the impossible.

Natural selection weeds out those that are different sexually, new comers lose out.... they by instinct and design look to the ideal. Study sexual selection of the different species.
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This entire post shows that you have apparently read or at least understood little of evolution theory or the mountains of evidence for it.
 
and lenny bruce:

A lot of people say to me, "Why did you kill Christ?" I dunno... it was one of those parties that got out of hand, you know?

Since they condone capital punishment, I want them to stop bitching about Jesus getting nailed up.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

If white America told the truth for one day, its whole world would fall apart.

I didn't do it, man, I only said it.
- To police on the occasion of his arrest for saying "c*cks*cker" at San Francisco's Jazz Workshop, 1961
A knowledge of syphilis is not an instruction to get it.


http://216.239.51.104/search?q=cach...ce+lenny+bruce+jesus&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us
 
ReligionStudent said:
I thought Gary Larson is alive, as well as most of Monty Python. Also, wasn't the Id guy a Christian?
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Larson is alive, but I'm sure that according to many he's got reservations in Hell well in advance. And yes, the "Id guy" was a Christian, and rather up-front about it, but of course too churchy for DJJ and not churchy enough probably for the Falwell crowd, so with any luck the loving and benevolent savior will consign him as well to the eternal flames.
 
ReligionStudent said:
I thought Gary Larson is alive, as well as most of Monty Python. Also, wasn't the Id guy a Christian?
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There were two Id guys, both unfortunately dead. One Python as well, but everyone else is alive.

That does little to change their ultimate fate. As we know from constant fundamentalist Christian rhetoric, everyone is going to hell except for Jack Chick and Fred Phelps.
 
Larson's a jazz fan, who just decided to stop doing cartoons for dough--too stressed, or didn't want to get stale. I can relate...

Do I have it right about Larson? I remember an interview.

It was a documentary on PBS....yeah, that's the ticket.
 
JonnyFive said:
There were two Id guys, both unfortunately dead. One Python as well, but everyone else is alive.

That does little to change their ultimate fate. As we know from constant fundamentalist Christian rhetoric, everyone is going to hell except for Jack Chick and Fred Phelps.
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Jonny Hart was about the biggest preachiest Christian on the comics page. he made the mallard filmore guy look like a bleeding heart liberal and the family circus look like a porno movie.
 
ReligionStudent said:
Jonny Hart was about the biggest preachiest Christian on the comics page. he made the mallard filmore guy look like a bleeding heart liberal and the family circus look like a porno movie.
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This is true. However, we have this handy "Are You Going to Hell?" checklist:

Are you Jack Chick?
A) Yes
B) No

Are you Fred Phelps?
A) Yes
B) No

If you answered A to either question, you will be rewarded in the afterlife. If you answered B to both questions... well, at least you'll have a lot of company in the firey pits of damnation.
 
The standard Mallard Fillmore cartoon:

(nicely drawn, somewhat funny picture of duck, looking perplexed)

(fat middle-aged LIBERAL, balding except for LONG HAIR)

duck says: "Boy, I sure hate LIBERALS!"

there you have it.
 
Uncle Luigi mode: Throaty middle-aged whisper, the aural equivalent of a disgusting leer:

"Look at that ***** epidermis. That epidermis wants it. Look at the ***** on that ***** skin. Yeah. Yah love it, don't ya, sport. Look at the fuzzy sheen on the arm of the newspaper boy. Yeah. Startin' to fog up your mask, huh? Puffin' thru yer snorkel, aren't ya, sport? Yeah. Ya come home, find yer lovely wife ***** ***** with the newspaper boy, don'cha, sport."

and so forth, passim.
 
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bruto said:
So is it your considered opinion that God killed Jerry Falwell? Why?[/quot

Old age and disease kills most, even the skeptics that don;t believe in death and have never prepared for its certainty.

Jerry went to see His maker, like everyone does, but I don;t think His maker is too pleased with Jerry and his misinterpretation of HIMSELF. But that is fro yuo to figure out and why until you meet your Maker.

or if you choose your dust.
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Now back to SEX, and our Creator who created it.

For He is called the Bridegrroom and His people who love Him are called the Bride... and we have a good old 45 day marriage FEAST of wining and dining and romancing and becoming One after He retrieves us.

Hows that for a FEAST, the MARRIAGE SUPPER OF THE LAMB.

Your hearts desires, then and on through Eternity, if your heart is right ...
 
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