Hi JoeyDonuts --- that's a horrible situation you were in imo.
I think a key to getting through such traumatizing things like that is to have a support network of people that will understand where you are at and that you TRUST. So many times, one of the chief problems with religion is that the believers think it is their duty and right to invade a person's boundaries and violate their mind and emotions uninvited, thus stealing something that wasn't theirs for the taking ---- your dignity and trust being one of those things. When it happens to a child it's so damaging, and it violates trust in a horrific way.
So I hope you find the support you need in those you trust. I have several friends who come from strictly religious backgrounds who have "escaped", and one of them in particular needed a time to make peace with his parents as well. Unfortunately, I still need to make peace with my parents, my mother in particular. I can say that I desire to have a different relationship level with her, and I have a desire for her to put aside some of her harmful beliefs ... as I want to be able to trust her.
But I can't yet. And the reality is I might not ever be able to trust her. And the simple reality for me is that keeping a distance from her is the most peaceful way we can exist, and she can still have her opinions and belief systems for herself. I have tried to "make peace" more times than I can count.
So I hope that if you do approach your parents, and they are unreceptive or you do not see the outcome you are looking for, you will not be disheartened. I hope you do see the outcome you are hoping for, but if not ... I hope you realize that you do not have to trust your parents. There is no "law" that says you must. Knowing this logically and emotionally are not always the same thing. It may or may not be a desire you have to have a certain level of relationship with them ... I don't know ... but you do not have to trust someone who isn't worthy of your trust. It doesn't matter who, or what, it is. So even if they do not change, please seek out an environment which deserves your trust ... whatever that means to YOU.
I think a key to "getting over" people who have violated you, like that church and it's preacher and practices, or your parents ..... is taking back what was taken from you. It's not vengeance on the perpetrators that always works and restores that, because what was taken from you through bullying you with ideas and beliefs was intrinsic, not external perhaps ..... rather it's restoring to yourself the value and right to choose whom you give your trust to, and what you want to believe for your ownself. At least this has helped me somewhat, although I'm still on my "journey" concerning making peace in many ways. But maybe something I've said will help.
I hope I didn't ramble
