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I'm Running For Office

CFLarsen said:
Paying $12 billion for not having nukes dropped on people is a small price.

Unless we actually buy the Nukes from N. Korea, I don't see how this applies.

I do have a solution. We'll give N. Korea incentives for dismantling their nuclear weapons program. If they don't stop producing nuclear weapons, we'll colonize their country. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is.

If American manufacturers cannot stay competitive in the marketplace, then they don't deserve to sell their products.

It's clear that this "scientist" thinks American companies are inferior and don't deserve to have businesses. Is this the man you want for President?
 
thaiboxerken said:
Unless we actually buy the Nukes from N. Korea, I don't see how this applies.

What's wrong with that? The key is to remove the threat. If that will "cost" $12 bn, it will still be cheaper than the cost of six Stealth bombers.

thaiboxerken said:
I do have a solution. We'll give N. Korea incentives for dismantling their nuclear weapons program. If they don't stop producing nuclear weapons, we'll colonize their country. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is.

This is, of course, not acceptable in today's world. This line of thinking leads to war.

thaiboxerken said:
It's clear that this "scientist" thinks American companies are inferior and don't deserve to have businesses. Is this the man you want for President?

Let's leave that to the voters.
 
CFLarsen said:
What's wrong with that? The key is to remove the threat. If that will "cost" $12 bn, it will still be cheaper than the cost of six Stealth bombers.

The problem is that you didn't propose to buy the weapons, just pay off N. Korea's debt. Paying off their debt does not mean they'll give up their weapons.

This is, of course, not acceptable in today's world. This line of thinking leads to war.

If war is what it takes to get them to stop producing nuclear weapons, I'm willing to go there. Are you?
 
For all candidates:

Did you inhale?

Okay forget that. Seriously:

Would you consider abolishing the death penalty?

For Claus:

Would you consider helping your neighbours to the North to keep those dastardly Danes off of Hans Island?
 
thaiboxerken said:
If you vote for me, you get the best President the United States will ever have.
Oh, whoopie.

Is that statement also true if I vote for you but you don't win?
 
grunion said:
To all candidates:
If I vote for you, what do I get?

You get me as your President of course, and you get to live. I'm a candidate of the people. That's the survivors, of course.

AS
 
grunion said:

Is that statement also true if I vote for you but you don't win?

You get to live if you vote for me, if you don't vote for me, I'll send rap stars to your house. It's my vote or die campaign.

Would you consider abolishing the death penalty?

Why would I do such a silly thing?
 
ROTTERS NEWS SERVICE -- "Independent" polls show U.S. Presidential candidate Shemp "The Mangler" Howard with a healthy lead over his sniveling coward opponents. A survey taken of dead Chicagoans shows Shemp leading the pack with 173% of the vote, with his opponents picking up no support whatsoever!

Notice that I have taken this huge lead in the polls having answered no questions whatsoever in the past 24 hours, and while continuing to look slick! I shall continue my "no questions answered" policy until after the oiled goats and I have moved into the White House.
 
shemp said:
Notice that I have taken this huge lead in the polls having answered no questions whatsoever in the past 24 hours, and while continuing to look slick! I shall continue my "no questions answered" policy until after the oiled goats and I have moved into the White House.

I suggest you purchase a flak jacket.

AS
 
delphi_ote said:
Delphi Ote here of the Running for Office Thread Times. I have two questions for our candidates. My first question is: what aspect of the U.S. government do you see as most in need of reform or correction and how would you propose to bring about these reforms from your position as president should you be elected? Would you be able to reach across the aisle to work with your counterparts in the opposing party? My second question is how do you see American foreign policy toward Cuba and Cuban refugees developing in light of the War on Terror and the Patriot Act in the next 20 years given Castro's age and our inability to capture Osama Bin Laden?

(this is to test your "make a jovial remark about complicated, multi-part questions while you think a way to duck answering any of the questions asked" skill.)

*steps up to the microphone*

These are very interesting and essential questions, but I think the underlying issue is all about monkeys. Specifically I wish to advocate a greater role for monkeys, especially intellingent talking monkeys, in our society.

Just kidding, here are my answers:

I believe the part of our government in most need of reform is the legislature. For far too long the representatives have been more concerned with opposing each other and engaging in pork barrel trading than forming sound policy that Americans need. There is much to disagree about, but I believe there is much more that we agree on as a people, and we would notice it and act on it, if our political climate was not focused on exaggerating our differences.

The unfortunate fact is, it is not the rules of our legislature that bring this problem. I would not even blame our legislators as a group--there are plenty of fine men and women working for us on Captiol Hill. So why does this happen? They behave this way because the voters train them to. It is a rare legislator that can see beyond what their constituents ask for to what they really need--it is rarer still that the voters reward them for it. This must change.

I can do my part by how I respond to bills proposed to me. If it is the product of short-sighted partisan bickering, I will veto it, even if I agree with its goals. If it is a bait-and-switch, promising one thing and delivering another, I will veto it. If it contains extraneous spending or issues that should be voted on their own merits, I will veto it until I am presented with a more concise bill. I will work with Congress before the fact to encourage them to come up with bills that I can sign.

I will be open and informative with the American people when I spot problems--I can't fix all of them with an iron fist--rules and regulations. But I can use my fancy soapbox up here to let you know about it so that you can make better voting decisions. The rest is up to you all.

As for working with my opponents, I will work with anyone acting constructively instead of oppositionally. On almost any issue there is room for consensus, far more room than has ever been utilized.

I would like to improve relations with Cuba, but progress in that direction must be guarded. I firmly believe that to reap the rewards of economic cooperation with the United States, a nation must grow out of its authoritarian history and become a republic run by the people and for the people. I do not intend to give full access to American markets to nations that do not offer fundamental civil liberties such as self-rule to their people.

That said, it is not an on/off switch. Positive action will meet with positive response. I suspect the situation will not significantly change while Castro remains in power. I will be watching the political climate in that country very closely as his time as ruler comes to a close.

I thank you all for bearing with me for this long-winded reply. The question really touched a nerve with me.
 
peptoabysmal said:
Question for Luke T.

Sure, you're a band-aid Jesus and all now, but I have an unnamed source who provided me with a memo indicating you were once a union scab.

How do you respond to these charges?

I've never broken a strike line in my life.
 
clarsct said:
OK

For the pro-lifers:

What about rape? What about those who will get an abortion by any means possible, and the possibility of driving them to an underground clinic to do so? How many women will die by your policies? I have seen little information about educational imperatives, other than an unfunded mandate from ken. Are you going to help women raise the children they cannot afford?
Isn't it true that you aren't pro-life, but anti-woman?

I'll only say this once. I did not have sexual relations with that woman...

On the serious side, during my research into the abortion issue, I found that the death rates among women who received illegal abortions had dropped significantly, and that NARAL was knowingly lying about their figure of 10,000 women per year. You sometimes still see that figure floated about.

With modern antibiotics and the fact a lot of doctors have been performing abortions legally for decades, any illegal abortions performed would not be of the back alley with a coat hangar variety.

I believe the process for adoptions needs to be overhauled. A family that wants to adopt can wait years to finally receive a child.
 
Grammatron said:
Two-part question for all the candidates:

What are your views on illigal immigration and what do you plan to do about the immigrants illigally crossing into states like California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas? Particularly in the wake of declaration of state of emergency on the border by the Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano.

Illegal immigration is an consequence of bordering a country whose citizens are less fortunate than ourselves. There is a lot of emotion surrounding the issue, and I feel it is often misplaced. Instead of directing anger at the misguided individuals that choose to duck our immigration laws in a search for jobs, I intend to apply pressure to those who benefit from it--companies and individuals that employ illegal aliens, often under abusive conditions. If nobody was giving them jobs, they would have no incentive to break the rules.

At the same time, I intend to enforce existing laws robustly and make sure our enforcement agencies have the resources to do the job properly.

I also intend to find ways to facilitate legal immigration. This country was founded and enriched by visitors to this land throughout its entire history. Often it is someone that comes from another place that can fully appreciate what America is, and they should be welcomed if they play by the rules. Growth improves prosperity, it does not sap from it.
 
Luke T. said:

I believe the process for adoptions needs to be overhauled. A family that wants to adopt can wait years to finally receive a child.

That's easily solved. Sell babies. They'll go fast.

AS
 
StaticEngine said:
How many candidates are there now?

Is there room for one more?

You can be my running-mate. The PACNW will become the new location for government.
 

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