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How do I join the Illuminati

I can only get you into the Darkeninganati. Mainly you have to get rid of all your flashlights and sparkly objects. Most people can't get through life without their sparkly objects.
 
I'm a bit sad about the advice being offered.

The first step is to have an income in excess of one billion (Euro) per annum.

Then you will be approached.

If you want to work for the Illumati, it's much simpler. Exceed at your chosen profession and be receptive to job opportunities presented by head hunters.
 
Thermal said:
You have to jiggle the cord on mine to get it Illluminating sometimes.
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Sounds like you have the old plug-in kind. The rechargeable ones are much more reliable these days, and you can set the Illluminating levels quite precisely.

And in response to the op - you can join several of them together using their charging cords for additional Illluminating.
 
You should try to join the Illumi-naughty. They're much more fun and will expose you to all kinds of new... "Experiences".
 
Thermal said:
Didn't we do this already with OP using their previous forum handle, HeadOverH33ls?
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Dunno about that previous handle, but we did something similar already with OP using this account with an old name, Isaak Bekejew:

https://www.internationalskeptics.com/forums/showthread.php?p=13223097

(Note that the member changed the name on that account, so the old "Isaak" name only appears in quotes of the member's posts.)

In that thread, Isaac/Isaak did a good job of portraying to me someone with a reason-limiting cognitive idiosyncrasy. So I don't really find this thread as entertaining as everyone else does.
 
Isaac Zac said:
Hi :)

I want to know how I can join the Illuminati. I've already searched online and there were some forms where you could fill in your data and send it to I don't know whom. But I'm afraid of the security as I am a computer scientist.

So I wanted to ask if there is one website where I could apply and how I should try to apply.

Please help me.

Yours sincerly,
Isaac Zac
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You don't "join" the Illuminati. There's no nomination or application process. That would be like asking someone else's permission, and what kind of Illuminati would have to ask permission?

If you want to be Illuminati, decide you are Illuminati. That's it.

In other words, it's far more difficult than you might have been imagining. You can't buy, bargain, or bluff your way in. You can't fool yourself or lie to yourself or wonder or guess or doubt. Most of all, you can't pretend. Pretending to be Illuminati would only mean you're not actually Illuminati. You have to know that you are without a doubt Illuminati. Whether you are the only Illluminati, or whether everyone is Illuminati but few realize it or admit it, or whether the truth is something in between, you have to be as certain of your own standing as Illuminati as you are of your own will to move your own hands.

In short: you must master your own mind. If you can't do that, you can't hope to control anyone else's. If you can't do that, you can't be Illuminati.

If and when you become Illuminati, will not be contacted with instructions. What kind of Illuminati would need instructions from someone else? You will not be aided or supported by the organization. What kind of Illuminati would need aid or support from someone else? You will not have the meaning or secrets or goals of the Illuminati revealed to you. What kind of Illuminati would need to be told such things by someone else?

Understanding this is the first step, but if you think real understanding can come from my words, you are not yet Illuminati.

I'm rooting for you. May you find the light!

Respectfully,
Myriad
 
Myriad said:
You don't "join" the Illuminati. There's no nomination or application process. That would be like asking someone else's permission, and what kind of Illuminati would have to ask permission?

If you want to be Illuminati, decide you are Illuminati. That's it.

In other words, it's far more difficult than you might have been imagining. You can't buy, bargain, or bluff your way in. You can't fool yourself or lie to yourself or wonder or guess or doubt. Most of all, you can't pretend. Pretending to be Illuminati would only mean you're not actually Illuminati. You have to know that you are without a doubt Illuminati. Whether you are the only Illluminati, or whether everyone is Illuminati but few realize it or admit it, or whether the truth is something in between, you have to be as certain of your own standing as Illuminati as you are of your own will to move your own hands.

In short: you must master your own mind. If you can't do that, you can't hope to control anyone else's. If you can't do that, you can't be Illuminati.

If and when you become Illuminati, will not be contacted with instructions. What kind of Illuminati would need instructions from someone else? You will not be aided or supported by the organization. What kind of Illuminati would need aid or support from someone else? You will not have the meaning or secrets or goals of the Illuminati revealed to you. What kind of Illuminati would need to be told such things by someone else?

Understanding this is the first step, but if you think real understanding can come from my words, you are not yet Illuminati.

I'm rooting for you. May you find the light!

Respectfully,
Myriad
Click to expand...

First we need a verified SAT score, please send encrypted. Then we'll talk about your CV. After that, if high enough, then the real Illuminati test.









ind of seems
 
A word of advice: don't join the Illuminati

I know they have a fearsome reputation for giving their members a really good dental plan, but that was before they switched providers.
 
Vixen said:
Wow! One can turn into a cat? Imagine spending the day basking in the sun with your every need met. Tripping people up and sticking one's nose in. I halp!
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I never tried but once I did turn into a one-way street.
 
Cosmic Yak said:
Guys- have a look at the other thread Isaac started.
Isaac: this will not help you. You need someone medically qualified to help you.
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I did not realize the context, as the original post in this thread looked as if it might be a joke from the start.

So yes, Isaac, you have landed in a place where, despite rules against personal attack, jokers abound, and ideas are mocked, and this is not likely the place you should be if you take personally ideas that others consider nonsense. Lukewarm apologies if my silliness was taken as anything but. There is no Aluminati, and we will never stop the steel.
 
Our intrepid OP, if I am understanding this correctly, has started three threads under three different handles, all asking +/- the same thing, and kind of seagulling off after a clarification ot two. Should these be combined?

Eta: under "threads started by this member" on their profile page, there are three threads of the same basic theme with three different OP handles.
 
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