How do I join the Illuminati

[Ryan O'Dine]

Isaac, if you're really struggling and in distress about mind control (and you're in the US), I recommend calling 988. They might be able to help you through some of that.

 

[dudalb]

All you need to do is contact Patrick Stewart, the secret son of Adolph Hitler. According to This Guy, who I kind of miss for no apparent reason.
Sample iluminlunacy starting here.

Well Stewart is Professor Xavier in the Marvel univers, and Xavier is a member of the Marvel universe version of the Illuminati.

 

[Craig4]

Yes. Gopher sex was my road to mental health, said precisely no one ever. See a doctor.