Hitchens on Christmas

c4ts said:
Actually, there was a Liberty Tree at St. John's that was filled with fireworks and blown up on the 4th of July.

I wish Christmas trees were for that, instead of p***y little lights and ornaments. Christmas would be 10 times better if you exchanged presents and got to blow stuff up. Then again, Chinese New Year works for me.

Now all I have to do is work that into a nativity scene for a religion I just made up.

Apparently the religion is based on my little brother's old toys. Mostly Battletech action figures because he had a collection back in the late 90's. So far the scene goes like this:

My God was born in a gigantic wooden box with the word "grapefruit" on it. On his left is his mother, Ripley from the movie "Alien" in the Power Loader, and on the right is his father, Dr. Piranha. Then we also have the three wise men: Elemental Armor, Axeman, and Mauler, who come bearing gifts of marshmallows, glue, and lego bricks. (And since we are going for historical accuracy, the Mauler is piloted by the Jesus action figure I bought at Wal-Mart while trying very hard not to laugh.) Now my religion forbids me from depicting my god, so to depict his abstract glory I have assembled this here pile of illegal fireworks. To celebrate this momentous occasion, I light this- ◊◊◊◊! ◊◊◊◊! GET BACK EVERYONE!
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Best. Nativity scene. Evar.
 
c4ts said:
Actually, there was a Liberty Tree at St. John's that was filled with fireworks and blown up on the 4th of July.

I wish Christmas trees were for that, instead of p***y little lights and ornaments. Christmas would be 10 times better if you exchanged presents and got to blow stuff up. Then again, Chinese New Year works for me.

Now all I have to do is work that into a nativity scene for a religion I just made up.

Apparently the religion is based on my little brother's old toys. Mostly Battletech action figures because he had a collection back in the late 90's. So far the scene goes like this:

My God was born in a gigantic wooden box with the word "grapefruit" on it. On his left is his mother, Ripley from the movie "Alien" in the Power Loader, and on the right is his father, Dr. Piranha. Then we also have the three wise men: Elemental Armor, Axeman, and Mauler, who come bearing gifts of marshmallows, glue, and lego bricks. (And since we are going for historical accuracy, the Mauler is piloted by the Jesus action figure I bought at Wal-Mart while trying very hard not to laugh.) Now my religion forbids me from depicting my god, so to depict his abstract glory I have assembled this here pile of illegal fireworks. To celebrate this momentous occasion, I light this- ◊◊◊◊! ◊◊◊◊! GET BACK EVERYONE!
Click to expand...
I wanna know if c4ts ever made up his "nativity" scene?
 
c4ts said:
My God was born in a gigantic wooden box with the word "grapefruit" on it. On his left is his mother, Ripley from the movie "Alien" in the Power Loader, and on the right is his father, Dr. Piranha. Then we also have the three wise men: Elemental Armor, Axeman, and Mauler, who come bearing gifts of marshmallows, glue, and lego bricks. (And since we are going for historical accuracy, the Mauler is piloted by the Jesus action figure I bought at Wal-Mart while trying very hard not to laugh.)
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Photos! We want photos.
 
Ladewig said:
I never thought of it that way but I like it. After all, I've never heard of the Jews complaining about the secularization of Roshashanna.
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They're too busy complaining about the Christianization of Chanukah.:)
 
Here's a link that seems appropriate. Click on the Chistmas rant.

Sums up my feelings anyway.
 
Was this thread having an anniversary celebration that I missed?

:D

.
 
http://www.xmasresistance.org/

You know holiday shopping is offensive and wasteful. You know Christmas "wish lists" and "gift exchanges" degrade the concept of giving. You know Christmas marketing is a scam, benefiting manufacturers, stores, and huge corporations, while driving individuals into debt. You know this annual consumer frenzy wreaks havoc on the environment, filling landfills with useless packaging and discarded gifts. Yet, every year, you cave in and go shopping.
The relentless onslaught of advertising exerts constant pressure. So do the unified bleatings of herds of shoppers, who call you "Scrooge" if you fail to enthusiastically join their ritual orgy of consumption. Friends and family needle you with gift requests, store windows beckon with shiny colorful packages, the same "classic" holiday jingles are piped constantly through every speaker in town.
How can you resist?
Join the Christmas Resistance Movement!


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My father is a xian, but he hates xmas. He thinks the current frenzy has nothing to do with xianity and xmas at all.
 
a_unique_person said:
http://www.xmasresistance.org/

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My father is a xian, but he hates xmas. He thinks the current frenzy has nothing to do with xianity and xmas at all.
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Actually, that sentiment is somewhat common amongst the fundies. Back in the day, I fervently hated Xmas (still do, but for other reasons now) because it was so "pagan". Also, the Evil Catholics were the ones that started it...
 
Pope130 said:
Ah, one of my favorite pet peeves has surfaced. "Christians complaining about the secularization of their major holiday." My reaction is; if they don't want outsiders messing with their holiday, they should keep it to themselves.
The twenty-fifth of this month I will not go to work, I will not be able to go to the bank, mail a letter, or, in most cases, get a meal. This is because Christians have made their holiday a national holiday, and forced the rest of us to modify our behavior to honour their god. Then they complain when we don't spend that holiday in a manner they approve.
I am weary unto dispair.

Robert
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This all holds for all national holidays. What about memorial day, the 4th of july or labor day? Damn you veterans, patriots and workers!
 
ponderingturtle said:
This all holds for all national holidays. What about memorial day, the 4th of july or labor day? Damn you veterans, patriots and workers!
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I don't believe those are religious, which was his point. Jews don't force store closings for Yom Kippur. Restaurants don't close during the day-time fast for Ramadan. Of course, due to the sheer number of Christians I think this may simply be practical - not enough folks to get to work that day.
 
advancedatheist said:
I've read that christmas didn't become this social monstrosity until about 150 years ago. Before then many christians didn't even observe the holiday because it seemed too pagan to them. Maybe conservatives should take the lead in bringing back the understated christmas known by our Founding Fathers.
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Understated? It was more like Mari Gras, it was about drunken revelry, at the historic recreation site I used to work at they tried to show a traditional twelfth night party. Not much about christ in that. That is why puritans banned it.
 
epepke said:
OK, but we have a lot of words in English. We have to find a use for some of them.

A German friend once told me, "You have a lot of words for angst!" I told her, "Yes, and they weren't enough, so we use 'angst' too."
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"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that
English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow
words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways
to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
--James D. Nicoll
 
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