From Rapture Ready

[Moochie]

Assuming he's as hung as John Holmes.

This discussion has become engorged with vile images...


M.

 

[Ralph]

lol--I was just nearly run down while walking across a pedestrian crosswalk.

The crosswalks are bright kelly green & there's a BIG SIGN warning traffic to stop for pedestrians.

I'm not one of these people who jumps out in front of moving traffic expecting them to stop on a dime.

The car closest to the intersection came to a stop as it was supposed to & I started across the intersection. A silver minivan came tear-assing through-passed the stopped car & nearly ran me down.

As it went by---I could see the jesus fish all over the back of the van. Not one jesus fish mind you.......SIX of them.


I realize this has nothing to do with the op......but it just seemed appropriate to mention it.

Maybe jesus was trying to kill me for bad-mouthing him here.

 

[six7s]

As it went by---I could see the jesus fish all over the back of the van. Not one jesus fish mind you.......SIX of them.

A school of thought?

The other day I saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and how good He is... and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!

I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of GOD! GO, GO!! Jesus Christ, GO!!' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a 'sunny beach'...

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage son what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My son burst out laughing...why even HE was enjoying this religious experience!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed, so I waved one more time to my loving brothers and sisters, grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them all after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one more time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks. ​

 

[Ralph]

A school of thought?

The other day I saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed!

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and how good He is... and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed!

I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of GOD! GO, GO!! Jesus Christ, GO!!' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a 'sunny beach'...

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage son what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My son burst out laughing...why even HE was enjoying this religious experience!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed, so I waved one more time to my loving brothers and sisters, grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them all after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one more time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks. ​

LOL---seen that one before---but it's still funny.

Seriously though----I spend a lot of my free time on either a bicycle or a motorcycle so I tend to notice drivers that are particulary aggressive & obnoxious (since their driving habits have a way of endangering my life).

I've lost count of the number of times it's involved a motor vehicle with some kind of jesus fish/christian bumper sticker on it.

And yeah--I've had a few of them scream/yell/flip me off on a few occasions.

It'd be a lot safer on the roads if they all DID get raptured out of here..................

 

[six7s]

It'd be a lot safer on the roads if they all DID get raptured out of here..................

Maybe this whole 'life' thing is just one big party where, due to some silly rules of etiquette, everyone was invited... but... the big DJ in the sky has a cunning plan to get the boring people to go home early

 

[Elizabeth I]

OK, but there are so many stories are therefore examples, even if some of the points are rather banal. What about the beginning of the story of Joseph in Genesis 37. Here we have something of the follies of arrogance, lording it over others and the dangers of the poisoning effects favouritism can have on a family. Someone could read that, think about how they behave towards others and consider how to modify behaviour accordingly.

Wow, somebody missed the point. My Sunday school lessons were all about Joseph's brothers being evil for having succumbed to the sin of envy. (And for pushing him into the pit, of course.)

 

[P.J. Denyer]

LOL---seen that one before---but it's still funny.

Seriously though----I spend a lot of my free time on either a bicycle or a motorcycle so I tend to notice drivers that are particulary aggressive & obnoxious (since their driving habits have a way of endangering my life).

I've lost count of the number of times it's involved a motor vehicle with some kind of jesus fish/christian bumper sticker on it.

And yeah--I've had a few of them scream/yell/flip me off on a few occasions.

It'd be a lot safer on the roads if they all DID get raptured out of here..................

Also a biker (and kinda look like a Hells Angel) and I have to agree. I'm convinced that there is some little sect out there teaching that the Highway Code was written by Satan.

I'm pretty certain they go to my local church on a Sunday for sermons like.... "and beath the limit of the speed thirty or beath the limit of the speed sixty thou shalt travel at the holy forty miles an hour, as did Jebus, neither shall thou use the devil's 'inside lane' even be it empty all the way along the dual carriageway, or check thy mirrors for to do so is to betray your lack of faith in the LORD to all around you..."

 

[Lucian]

Also a biker (and kinda look like a Hells Angel) and I have to agree. I'm convinced that there is some little sect out there teaching that the Highway Code was written by Satan.

I'm pretty certain they go to my local church on a Sunday for sermons like.... "and beath the limit of the speed thirty or beath the limit of the speed sixty thou shalt travel at the holy forty miles an hour, as did Jebus, neither shall thou use the devil's 'inside lane' even be it empty all the way along the dual carriageway, or check thy mirrors for to do so is to betray your lack of faith in the LORD to all around you..."

Yesterday I saw a car that had a Darwin-fish and a bumper sticker that said, "I bet Jesus would use HIS turn signals." It made my day a little brighter.

 

[Foster Zygote]

Also a biker (and kinda look like a Hells Angel) and I have to agree. I'm convinced that there is some little sect out there teaching that the Highway Code was written by Satan.

I'm pretty certain they go to my local church on a Sunday for sermons like.... "and beath the limit of the speed thirty or beath the limit of the speed sixty thou shalt travel at the holy forty miles an hour, as did Jebus, neither shall thou use the devil's 'inside lane' even be it empty all the way along the dual carriageway, or check thy mirrors for to do so is to betray your lack of faith in the LORD to all around you..."

If there be a heavily loaded tractor-trailer in the right lane, thou must drive one half car-length behind it in the left lane. As the truck slows ascending a hill, so shalt thou. As the truck accelerates descending a hill, so shalt thou.

 

[Nogbad]

Also a biker (and kinda look like a Hells Angel) and I have to agree. I'm convinced that there is some little sect out there teaching that the Highway Code was written by Satan.

I'm pretty certain they go to my local church on a Sunday for sermons like.... "and beath the limit of the speed thirty or beath the limit of the speed sixty thou shalt travel at the holy forty miles an hour, as did Jebus, neither shall thou use the devil's 'inside lane' even be it empty all the way along the dual carriageway, or check thy mirrors for to do so is to betray your lack of faith in the LORD to all around you..."

That is a popular denomination actually.

Neither shalt thou check thy rear view mirror for verily multitudes shall wail and gnash their teeth behind thee.

 

[aggle-rithm]

As it went by---I could see the jesus fish all over the back of the van. Not one jesus fish mind you.......SIX of them.

My brother recently told me about a study where they found that lots of decoration on a car is a strong predictor for road rage. It's a way for domineering, self-centered control freaks to mark their territory.

 

[Ralph]

My brother recently told me about a study where they found that lots of decoration on a car is a strong predictor for road rage. It's a way for domineering, self-centered control freaks to mark their territory.

This would explain all the smilies & over-sized multicolor avatars that you find over there.

I wish I had a nickel for every "thumbs up" smiley on the Rapture Ready board.

 

[Ralph]

Also a biker (and kinda look like a Hells Angel) and I have to agree. I'm convinced that there is some little sect out there teaching that the Highway Code was written by Satan.

I'm pretty certain they go to my local church on a Sunday for sermons like.... "and beath the limit of the speed thirty or beath the limit of the speed sixty thou shalt travel at the holy forty miles an hour, as did Jebus, neither shall thou use the devil's 'inside lane' even be it empty all the way along the dual carriageway, or check thy mirrors for to do so is to betray your lack of faith in the LORD to all around you..."

He that faileth to tailgate whilst speakething into thine holy cellphone whilst coming up behind the wheeled demoncycles of Satan shall incurreth my holy wrath.......

 

[Lucian]

My brother recently told me about a study where they found that lots of decoration on a car is a strong predictor for road rage. It's a way for domineering, self-centered control freaks to mark their territory.

In my experience, it's often peace/love liberals who plaster their (often elderly) vehicles with vast numbers of bumper stickers. They want to be sure they haven't left out a cause: free Tibet, coexist, imagine world peace/whirled peas, you need a cat/dog, etc.

As for the schools of Jesus fish, someone told me that some people include a fish for every (saved) member of their family. So there might be two larger mommy and daddy fish, plus several smaller kiddy fish.

 

[Ralph]

In my experience, it's often peace/love liberals who plaster their (often elderly) vehicles with vast numbers of bumper stickers. They want to be sure they haven't left out a cause: free Tibet, coexist, imagine world peace/whirled peas, you need a cat/dog, etc.

As for the schools of Jesus fish, someone told me that some people include a fish for every (saved) member of their family. So there might be two larger mommy and daddy fish, plus several smaller kiddy fish.

Uh oh....the vehicle that almost hit me--there was one large fish & a vertical row of 5 smaller fish.

Wonder what happened to mom or dad? They'd obviously been pretty "busy" at one point in their lives.

 

[Roadtoad]

Uh oh....the vehicle that almost hit me--there was one large fish & a vertical row of 5 smaller fish.

Wonder what happened to mom or dad? They'd obviously been pretty "busy" at one point in their lives.

Clearly too busy for driving lessons...

 

[P.J. Denyer]

'...... and remember this faith is founded upon the three cardinal virtues, them being Mirror, Signal, Manoeuvre and the greatest of these is Manoevre........ Actually, just forget about the other two........"

 

[Foster Zygote]

Uh oh....the vehicle that almost hit me--there was one large fish & a vertical row of 5 smaller fish.

Wonder what happened to mom or dad? They'd obviously been pretty "busy" at one point in their lives.

Unless mom was one of the little fish.

 

[tsig]

This would explain all the smilies & over-sized multicolor avatars that you find over there.

I wish I had a nickel for every "thumbs up" smiley on the Rapture Ready board.

They seem inordinately happy that their god is going to take(eat) them first.

The Old Ones don't have a chance with this group.

 

[Nursefoxfire]

Yes,that struck me at an early age,There was a hymn that I was forced to sing in school promising us that after we died we would sit around god for a thousand years singing his praises.I remember thinking,how boring is that,and what an egoistical bugger god must be.

If you were thinking during Sunday school then you were doing it wrong.

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