Anybody wanna hear a Christmas joke?
The joke starts with a married couple decorating their newly purchased Christmas tree. For the sake of argument I’ll call the wife Killtown and the husband 28th Kingdom.
Fade in scene 1:
28th Kingdom reaches up and places a wind up doll of Alex Jones with his arms spread wide on the top of the tree.
Killtown: 28th, this is the most beautiful tree we have ever had and I shall remember it forever.
28th: My only hope is that you dream of it tonight as we lay peacefully in our marital bed.
Fade out scene 1.
The next scene starts with the blissful couple as they slumber in their marital bed.
Fade in scene 2:
Roused from her sleep Killtown reaches to her husband and shakes him awake exclaiming the woners of a dream she has just had.
Killtown: Honey, honey wake up. I’ve just had the most wonderful dream.
28th wakens from his sleep groggy and disoriented.
28th: Can’t this wait until morning buttercup. I was just studying a youtube video that proves without a doubt that those evil JREFer’s are wrong. NIST, who the f@#k is NIST. Damned experts and their book learnin’ school mumbo jumbo.
Killtown: No, this can’t wait my little thermitic cuddle bunny, I’m afraid I may forget by morning.
28th: Then tell me dear.
Killtown: Well I dreamt that I woke up and went downstairs to get a drink of water. On the way down the stairs I looked over at our Christmas tree and The tree was covered from top to bottom with plane holograms The closer you got to the top the bigger and harder the holograms were until you got to the very top and there was the biggest, hardest plane hologram I have ever seen.
28th more than a little curious now asks: Was that my plane hologram pooky bear?
Killtown: No. It wasn’t.
Killtown rolls over and falls fast asleep leaving an incredulous 28th to ponder what just happened. After unsuccessfully trying to fall back asleep 28th lays awake and plots his revenge.
Fade out scene 2
The following night Killtown and 28th are again fast asleep in their bed, visions of Steven Jones and Judy Woods dancing in their heads.
Fade in scene three:
28th shakes his wife out of her drowse.
28th: Honey, honey wake up. Tonight I have had the most wonderful dream.
Killtown: Well what was it about Pd…er…28th, please tell me!
28th: Well I dreamt that I woke up and went downstairs to get a drink of water. On the way down the stairs I looked over at our Christmas tree and the tree was covered from top to bottom with controlled demolitions. The closer you got to the top the tighter and juicier the controlled demolitions were until you got to the very top and there was the tightest, juiciest controlled demolition I have ever seen.
Killtown: Was that my controlled demolition at the top of the tree hun?
With a sly smile, knowing that he had all the proof he needed 28th leans into his wife and loudly exclaims: No! Yours was holding up the tree!
I don’t know if anybodies gonna get this, but I’ll post it anyway. The delivery kinda sucks and my grammar is horrible (she beat me as a child), plus I’ve had the flu all week, along with my 2 ½ year old son whose laying in my lap right now alternating between puking and sleeping.
Who cares though, I’m going to Mexico on Saturday!