Split Thread [Ed] Personal experiences with gays

[dafydd]

No, I am not saying that my experience trumps yours. We all have our individual experiences. You need to form some rational, calm and collected questions though if you want a response from me.

You will have to start being rational too. All I have seen from you is stereotyping and prejudice.

 

[dafydd]

Why?

Information is information. Only the way it is harvested or presented contains bias. If you think that there isn't a "technical" component to knowledge of marijuana, or that its users necessarily function under misconceptions about its popularity or ubiquity then there is a thread here I might need to direct you to,

Your use of the term "hippies" suggests yet another stereotype you may suffer from.

True. If you're ever in Holland Quad I will take you to a coffee shop and show you people of all ages and all walks of life dropping in to buy their five grams because they prefer it to damaging their livers with that macho masculine alcohol. Quad seems to like compartmentalizing people. We all unique.

 

[TragicMonkey]

More like a "personal experience with stupid" at this point. 14 pages of this? I am too impatient (a masculine trait, note) to bother with this any more. Some ignorance is too profound to be cured.

 

[dafydd]

Yes. No doubt he will get onto all Orientals are sinister,you can't trust a Greek...etc

 

[Piscivore]

Some ignorance is too profound to be cured.

Seconded.

 

[quadraginta]

More like a "personal experience with stupid" at this point. 14 pages of this? I am too impatient (a masculine trait, note) to bother with this any more. Some ignorance is too profound to be cured.

It isn't so much the ignorance itself. That can be cured.

It is the willful adamancy involved. This is where bigotry enters the picture.

 

[Taarkin]

So you think my accuracy would be very low, but yet you give me a percentage of gay men in the United States of 5. Going off of that percentage, I should have a 95% success rate at picking out who is gay and who is not, even without utilizing gaydar. That's a pretty high success rate.

Aaaahahaha, you had me going up until this. Good show.

 

[dafydd]

I wonder if he will realize that "all Orientals are sinister" and "all gay men act effeminately" are both untrue statements.

 

[Rasmus]

Ok, so what do you make of the hundreds of men in my sample who are not in the military?

What do you hope to achieve when you keep asking the same questions and then not react to the answers?

I doubt you know the vast majority of these men as good as you think you do.

I doubt that you have the information you would need to have on nearly all of these.

Let us assume your sample consisted of 500 men. Assuming that they are picked somewhat randomly - and I think that is a big stretch - you'd expect somewhere between maybe 25 and 50 of these to be gay.

That leaves 475 or more men that are irrelevant to our discussion! Yes, it is entirely possible that 475 men in this sample are married, have girlfriends, regularly hit on women in public or comment on their physique when you're out with them. None of that would be the least bit surprising.

The other 25, however, are interesting. And in order to be able to make any claims here you need to know details about all 500 men. Each and every one of them.

If you cannot tell me how many of them are married and who these men are, then you simply have no basis to claim that *all* of them are heterosexual. It is enough if you overlook a few men that simply do not display the behavior you think is significant - because the group of men that does not display these behavior will have a much higher rate of gays than the 5 or 10% of the whole sample.

A general "oh, they are interested in women" is not enough. You need to be able to tell us, case by case, why exactly each and everyone of them is interested in girls.

Again, because having that information about the vast majority of the men in the sample is what is to be expected! You simply cannot find members of the small group if you're sampling is too coarse.

Also, it is far too easy to simply make assumptions about people that are not actually justified. Especially if those assumptions would hold true for 90% or more of the population! (Say, some guy mentions he lost his virginity at a specific age. No information on whether he's straight or gay, even though the conversation might establish that he's just one of the many, manly and very masculine fellas you know.)

 

[sadhatter]

You seem to be offended by something I have said. I think you and a lot of other people are in denial about gay people acting feminine. Again sorry, but that is just they way a lot of them are. The ones that act completely straight I have not met, or HAVE met but didn't know they were gay. That being said, I have met (Not known) A LOT of gay people through working at that club AND through my brother being very into ballroom dance through high school. All of those gay people either acted flamingly feminine, or just had feminine characteristics. This is my personal experience with gay people, and I acknowledge that there are probably plenty who act straight.

As a daywalker ( bisexual male.) i would like to shed some light on this.

The amount of gay men that " flame" is roughly equivalent to the amount of straight men that are overly straight. And by overly straight i mean those among the straight population who proudly display their macho traits, from nudges and comments at a sexy butt, to loud exclamations about who is the bigger ****** in a ufc match.

The thing is to straight men, that behavior is not annoying. And to gay men flaming is not annoying.

As someone who is neither i can say both are ******* annoying.

We get it you stick your penis into a woman or man, but your personality should be more than you proving this 80% of the time.

And as to the " i knew he was gay." type of comments. Sure your going to be right a good chunk of the time. But your going to be wrong a lot too. And not just branding some poor straight guy as gay, but in branding someone like myself gay.

Which, honestly, i say keep on doing. It is easy as hell to strike up a conversation with a woman, then proceed to attempts to mate, if general consensus is that the lil guy with the bracelets , abs and well done hair is not a threat. So much so, ( and i will always remember this. ) i once had a friend of a friend who i didn't get along with go into a long winded tirade about how my other friends were hitting on his g/f. While i was making out with her in his back seat. ( i could have stolen the girl, but sans drinking my morals returned.)

And vice versa, if i happen to be wearing a ramones shirt, liberty spikes, and doc martins ( my style , like my sex life runs the gamut.) , i find a lot of like minded men "like the challenge" for lack of a better term.

 

[dafydd]

A general "oh, they are interested in women" is not enough. You need to be able to tell us, case by case, why exactly each and everyone of them is interested in girls.

And watch them twenty four hours a day for long periods to see who they go to bed with.

 

[Aitch]

My wife and I use it. The soldier in question was not married, had no girlfriend, and did not go on dates with women.

From what I am told, it looked like it was recently used.

I'm not married, no girlfriend etc and the last time I used "anal lube" or KY as most people know it was when I was given it in hospital to enable me to insert a small white torpedo of volterol as I was about to have a session of lithotripsy.

So you don't have to have anal sex if you use KY - it does have other uses.

In fact, Sha-Na-Na used it in their hair to get the greasy look without grease.

 

[Quad4_72]

Ok so I am somewhat torn now. I have spoken to my wife about the issue, and she pretty much echoed the same sentiments that you guys have. But there is an issue. She said that there are two guys at her work who she had absolutely NO idea that they were gay until they came out to her. She said there was just no way of telling. Problem is, a couple of weeks ago I had seen these same two individuals on her facebook and immediately identified them as gay by their profile pictures. Basically, they posted on her wall, and I asked who they were. She said they were friends from work, and I said they are gay huh? She said, how did you know?!

To me, it was just obvious. They were portraying a demeanor that was very similar to those I had seen at the club on 80s night. So basically the issue is that might wife could not identify them as gay when it was so blatantly obvious. But she does have me leaning more towards what you guys are saying, and that maybe there are more non camp acting gays out there then I think.

 

[Quad4_72]

I'm not married, no girlfriend etc and the last time I used "anal lube" or KY as most people know it was when I was given it in hospital to enable me to insert a small white torpedo of volterol as I was about to have a session of lithotripsy.

So you don't have to have anal sex if you use KY - it does have other uses.

In fact, Sha-Na-Na used it in their hair to get the greasy look without grease.

I am well aware of the other uses. I have explained the situation about 4 times now.

 

[Quad4_72]

Here:



You knew what it was called, you claim to own some, yet you repeatedly called it "anal lube" (even the tube you own, curiously) because:


ETA: Why didn't you just say at the beginning "He was caught with a dude sleeping in his bed in the barracks and a tube of KY on the nightstand"?

Yeah, you are looking way too far into it.

 

[Belz...]

So you think my accuracy would be very low, but yet you give me a percentage of gay men in the United States of 5. Going off of that percentage, I should have a 95% success rate at picking out who is gay and who is not, even without utilizing gaydar. That's a pretty high success rate.

No, that's not how it works.

 

[Piscivore]

Yeah, you are looking way too far into it.

Am I? Why didn't you just call it "KY jelly" from the beginning?

 

[bookitty]

Ok so I am somewhat torn now. I have spoken to my wife about the issue, and she pretty much echoed the same sentiments that you guys have. But there is an issue. She said that there are two guys at her work who she had absolutely NO idea that they were gay until they came out to her. She said there was just no way of telling. Problem is, a couple of weeks ago I had seen these same two individuals on her facebook and immediately identified them as gay by their profile pictures. Basically, they posted on her wall, and I asked who they were. She said they were friends from work, and I said they are gay huh? She said, how did you know?!

To me, it was just obvious. They were portraying a demeanor that was very similar to those I had seen at the club on 80s night. So basically the issue is that might wife could not identify them as gay when it was so blatantly obvious. But she does have me leaning more towards what you guys are saying, and that maybe there are more non camp acting gays out there then I think.

OMG, your gaydar is teh bomb! Two whole people! Because it seemed like they had a passing familiarity with dance clubs. What, were they vouging?

Dude, the gays that aren't telling you they are gay have no agenda beyond keeping their sexuality private. They aren't going to sneak up and get gay cooties all over you. They aren't scary. They're just people who are trying to get by in the way that works best for them. Denying that they exist doesn't keep you safe from them because they weren't a threat in the first place.

 

[H'ethetheth]

Fascinating and hilarious thread.

Just my sample here:
I personally know/have met about 10-15 openly gay people and one bi-guy. One of them a huge cousin who came out to his brother in his teens, yet had girlfriends well into his twenties; lots of them.
As a hapless straight guy, I would never have guessed. In fact, only two of them could be described as flamboyant. The rest had to either tell me or just acted natural around their significant other.

 

[Quad4_72]

Am I? Why didn't you just call it "KY jelly" from the beginning?

Idk. What I do know though, is that calling it anal lube or calling it KYjelly is semantics and does not make me a bigot as you are so desperately trying to make me out to be.