Dude crucifies himself

[AdMan]

A hole in your hand can be also caused by a bullet. When that happens, you are very unlikely to pick up your gun by the injured hand and shoot back, not to mention drilling a hole into your attacker's head.

Once again and as usual, you've meandered off anything close to a rational argument.

 

[slingblade]

you click heels
and He clicks mouse
then He feels
what's up your blouse

And quite a handful he got, too. Jesus loves mah boobies, yes he does.

you click thrice
and He clicks twice
thrice is mice
and mouse plays dice

Sounds like Jesus is off his meds again.

So how's your poetry doing these days? Did you win any prize recently? I didn't. The folks in Oslo keep sending my contributions back claiming that there is no Nobel Prize awarded for poetry, but they never explain how come that you've received one for the collection of poems titled "Hell On Heels Froze Three Times Over."

Sounds like you found Jesus' meds and ate the whole bottle.
He is gonna be soooo pissed.

 

[ria_rokz]

I'm thinking that if they decided he drilled holes in his hands, it's because there was a freaking drill right there. Probably with blood and stuff all over it.

 

[PGH]

It's funny, I shared this story with my coworkers. They're all believers and think I'm the kooky one because I don't think snakes talk. I told them the story when it first came out and we laughed at the idea it might be suicide. Now I explained to them how the guy did it.

I'm laughing at them because they're all insisting he's gone to hell and the flames have cauterized his wounds. I can't believe that people honestly think this is how reality works and they consider me the crazy one.

 

[Craig4]

It's funny, I shared this story with my coworkers. They're all believers and think I'm the kooky one because I don't think snakes talk. I told them the story when it first came out and we laughed at the idea it might be suicide. Now I explained to them how the guy did it.

I'm laughing at them because they're all insisting he's gone to hell and the flames have cauterized his wounds. I can't believe that people honestly think this is how reality works and they consider me the crazy one.

Truly humanity needs to grow up and learn to sleep at night without our teddy bears.

 

[Marduk]

I'm thinking that if they decided he drilled holes in his hands, it's because there was a freaking drill right there. Probably with blood and stuff all over it.

Awesome

Memo
To : Chief constable, United Kingdom

It has been brought to my attention that whenever a weapon is found next to a corpse, that its an obvious case of suicide and so does not need to be investigated further. This new data should signifiantly bring down your financial expenditure and so would you please now stop whining like bitches about government cutbacks.

From : That guy you failed to frame for attempted murder back in 92

Truly humanity needs to grow up and learn to sleep at night without our teddy bears.

Can I still keep the severed heads ?

 

[ria_rokz]

Awesome

Memo
To : Chief constable, United Kingdom

It has been brought to my attention that whenever a weapon is found next to a corpse, that its an obvious case of suicide and so does not need to be investigated further. This new data should signifiantly bring down your financial expenditure and so would you please now stop whining like bitches about government cutbacks.

From : That guy you failed to frame for attempted murder back in 92



Can I still keep the severed heads ?

lol Okay, point taken. Let me clarify, I didn't mean that the drill being there would obviously mean suicide or even that he used it on himself. I'm just saying that if they're saying it is suicide, and that he drilled holes in his hands, it is likely because a drill was found there.

I was responding to the gun comments made earlier. I suspect that holes drilled in hands would look different than holes shot with a gun.

 

[Almo]

It's really sad, that's what it is.

Just really sad.

Agreed.

 

[bruto]

Puts me in mind of a Charles Simic poem, called "Popular Mechanics"

The enormous engineering problems
You'll encounter by attempting to crucify yourself
Without helpers, pulleys, cogwheels,
And other clever mechanical contrivances -

In a small, bare, white room,
With only a loose-legged chair
To reach the height of the ceiling--
Only a show to beat the nails in.

Not to mention being naked for the occasion -
So that each rib and muscle shows,
Your left hand already spiked in,
Only the right to wipe the sweat with,

To help yourself to a butt
From the overflowed ashtray,
You won't quite manage to light -
And the night coming, the whiz night.

From Unending Blues

 

[Marduk]

Hypothetically, if you were a sociopathic psycopath and some annoying fundie continually preached at you !

what would you think ironically funny ?
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Yes, I am aware that I probably need help

 

[Rasmus]

Hypothetically, if you were a sociopathic psycopath and some annoying fundie continually preached at you !

what would you think ironically funny ?
..
...
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Yes, I am aware that I probably need help

What, can't you kill the guy by yourself?

 

[Marduk]

What, can't you kill the guy by yourself?

I lost my cordless drill somewhere

 

[Craig4]

Can I still keep the severed heads ?

Only if you display them tastefully, no extruding tongue head on pike, fly attracting eye sores.