Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people)

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If you want to be really mean, you can use the "Print screen" button to capture their desktop, paste in into "Paint" (or any image editing program), save it, set it as the background, then delete all of the real icons. It will look just like their regular desktop, but none of the "icons" will be functional.

Where I worked it was also a good way to get you fired.
 
If you want to be really mean, you can use the "Print screen" button to capture their desktop, paste in into "Paint" (or any image editing program), save it, set it as the background, then delete all of the real icons. It will look just like their regular desktop, but none of the "icons" will be functional.

Where I worked it was also a good way to get you fired.
Yup. I mean, it was fun back in the 90's when we did this to each other in the IT shop. And sticking the "When Harry Met Sally" fake orgasm noise on every Windows action.

Fun times. :rolleyes:
 
I have to do some access management today.

I told my boss that the software I have to use to do that makes me want to stab people.
I then promised I would do it, and would try to stab somebody other than him.

WHO designs a window that resizes itself when you scroll? Who possibly could think that was a good idea?

Not really fitting to this thread, but I needed to vent and you guys would understand...

SIGH...
 
I have to do some access management today.

I told my boss that the software I have to use to do that makes me want to stab people.
I then promised I would do it, and would try to stab somebody other than him.

WHO designs a window that resizes itself when you scroll? Who possibly could think that was a good idea?

Not really fitting to this thread, but I needed to vent and you guys would understand...

SIGH...

Quite understandable, I seem to remember I encountered something like that last year
 
Microsoft's Indexing services are starting to get on my last nerve.

I have several users who can't search their Outlook for anything in the last week. Or rather if they search Outlook for any e-mail with the word "Example" in it will only list e-mails older than two weeks with the word "Example" in it, even if dozens of e-mails with the word "Example" in it are in their inbox from the last week.

I've tried recreating the Index and it gets to roughly 90% and just gets stuck. I've tried recreating their Outlook profiles and mailboxes, no change.
 
Microsoft's Indexing services are starting to get on my last nerve.

I have several users who can't search their Outlook for anything in the last week. Or rather if they search Outlook for any e-mail with the word "Example" in it will only list e-mails older than two weeks with the word "Example" in it, even if dozens of e-mails with the word "Example" in it are in their inbox from the last week.

I've tried recreating the Index and it gets to roughly 90% and just gets stuck. I've tried recreating their Outlook profiles and mailboxes, no change.

The design of Exchange just baffles me. Microsoft throws everything into one gigantic opaque database, and the only way to interact with it is using tools that come with the Exchange server or at the command line. As far as I know there's no way to interact with the database directly. You can't connect to it using phpExchangeAdmin to query its contents: everything must be done with the tools. If the tools won't do the job, you're out of luck.

The typical Unix approach puts each user's mailbox into a separate data store, and very often the indexes are separate from the emails proper. So if something goes wrong:
  1. Only one user's mailbox is affected
  2. Very often all that needs to be done is rebuild indexes
  3. There's a whole toolkit of Unix text-processing tools available to help troubleshoot problems
 
I have a lot of users who can't stand the fact that we switched to Gmail from Office 365, I however find the search features to be quite a bit better.

Now I do understand that the Calendar option in Outlook is very nice

But I don't miss repairing .pst files
 
Yeah, we're going through the process of migrating to Office 365 right now. It's a pain, but I do believe that it will be better when the process is complete.
 
I'm convinced that Microsoft.net doesn't actually exist. There's program or service or dependency that changes when you install it, it's just a virus that Microsoft distributes to stress test legacy programs that have been around since the Crimean War that one old stubborn user refuses to upgrade.
 
A "joke" that's doing the rounds in programmer circles just now:
Why do programmers enjoy cooking? You peel the carrot, chop the carrot, put carrot in stew.
You don't suddenly find your peeler is 6 versions behind and support for carrots was dropped in version 4.6.
 
A "joke" that's doing the rounds in programmer circles just now:
Why do programmers enjoy cooking? You peel the carrot, chop the carrot, put carrot in stew.
You don't suddenly find your peeler is 6 versions behind and support for carrots was dropped in version 4.6.

...and the chopping board architecture has a dependency on the kitchen model, and the whole damn thing is behind yet another ******* firewall that the ******* ******* have put up today shutting down every access point to the ******* house while simultaneously setting fire to the entire street's communications infrastructure without even the slightest thought about ******* testing anything or paying the slightest heed to the ******* change management process, and the architects have just downed tools again, because the family has decided not to go with their original dinner request but now wants purple ******* parsnips, despite having signed off on a full set of business requirements, and the complete lack of purple ******* parsnips anywhere in the entire database and now the design and build of entire carrot delivery service layer has to be started again.

:mad: :mad: :mad:

Or was that just my day?
 
My day..

I was trying to give access to something to one of my direct reports.

Found out that his record showed that instead of me, his manager was erroneously assigned to a woman with my same name, but who happens to be a picker/packer in Memphis.

So, we opened a ticket to fix the problem. The person said "Well, just have your manager submit a request here" with a link to update the record. However, since I wasn't the official manager of record that was obviously not going to work. And, we werent going to get the picker/packer in Memphis to submit the form to update the record to make me his manager.

So, we escalate.. we inform that this solution will not work since the actual manager is not the manager of record. After three tries, we get them to understand the problem. Just before i left today I looked at the status of the ticket.

It was awaiting approval from...... guess who? The picker/packer in Memphis.

:banging head on desk:
 
My day..

I was trying to give access to something to one of my direct reports.

Found out that his record showed that instead of me, his manager was erroneously assigned to a woman with my same name, but who happens to be a picker/packer in Memphis.

So, we opened a ticket to fix the problem. The person said "Well, just have your manager submit a request here" with a link to update the record. However, since I wasn't the official manager of record that was obviously not going to work. And, we werent going to get the picker/packer in Memphis to submit the form to update the record to make me his manager.

So, we escalate.. we inform that this solution will not work since the actual manager is not the manager of record. After three tries, we get them to understand the problem. Just before i left today I looked at the status of the ticket.

It was awaiting approval from...... guess who? The picker/packer in Memphis.

:banging head on desk:
1) Call the help desk and say you are that other person from Memphis. Tell them you need your password reset. If your Helpdesk are that dim, they will do it for you.

2) With new password, log in as that person and make the change you require. Check it is all good before you finish.

3) Change the password to something random that nobody will remember and don't write it down. That account is now effectively locked out.

4) Carry on. The poor old person in Memphis will find themselves locked out, and will need another password reset. But your work here is done.
 
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...and the chopping board architecture has a dependency on the kitchen model, and the whole damn thing is behind yet another ******* firewall that the ******* ******* have put up today shutting down every access point to the ******* house while simultaneously setting fire to the entire street's communications infrastructure without even the slightest thought about ******* testing anything or paying the slightest heed to the ******* change management process, and the architects have just downed tools again, because the family has decided not to go with their original dinner request but now wants purple ******* parsnips, despite having signed off on a full set of business requirements, and the complete lack of purple ******* parsnips anywhere in the entire database and now the design and build of entire carrot delivery service layer has to be started again.

:mad: :mad: :mad:

Or was that just my day?
No, it was not just your day. It was every IT support person's day. All day. Every day. This is why we drink.
 
... or if they don't have proper identity verification procedures, which all help desks should have.
Absolutely true. That is precisely what I would have expected.

But it seems Faydra's group do not have much nous. Having had the problem explained to them, they still went ahead and sent the change request to the wrong person. They are clearly not thinking at all. So put on a southern drawl and get it done.
 
During a reorg I was assigned to another manager incorrectly. I emailed the team and told them to fix it as this was used for various forms of approval in our change and problem system. They told me I'd need to fill in a lengthy form, get it signed by god and so on and then they would raise a ticket for the change and it should be sorted in 2 weeks. "Sorry sir but we have to follow proper processes."
"OK, let's follow process. So give me the change number used to move me to this other manager. I'll raise an Incident ticket against that change and get it marked as a failed change that needs backing out and rework."
"Oh! We'll sort it today."
"Thank you."
 
... or if they don't have proper identity verification procedures, which all help desks should have.

Our help desk is waaaaaay beyond you. We have self-service password resets, that can be accessed from any powered up computer (you can get to this service from the log in screen). This relies on users having recorded a set of answers to "secret questions" but it works surprisingly well.

It helps that our general help desk works 8 to 4, in an organisation which is 24/7

(Unfortunately this means that the help desk for my application is also 24/7)
 
1) Call the help desk and say you are that other person from Memphis. Tell them you need your password reset. If your Helpdesk are that dim, they will do it for you.

2) With new password, log in as that person and make the change you require. Check it is all good before you finish.

3) Change the password to something random that nobody will remember and don't write it down. That account is now effectively locked out.

4) Carry on. The poor old person in Memphis will find themselves locked out, and will need another password reset. But your work here is done.
That's functionality over formality, corporates don't like it.
 
During a reorg I was assigned to another manager incorrectly. I emailed the team and told them to fix it as this was used for various forms of approval in our change and problem system. They told me I'd need to fill in a lengthy form, get it signed by god and so on and then they would raise a ticket for the change and it should be sorted in 2 weeks. "Sorry sir but we have to follow proper processes."
"OK, let's follow process. So give me the change number used to move me to this other manager. I'll raise an Incident ticket against that change and get it marked as a failed change that needs backing out and rework."
"Oh! We'll sort it today."
"Thank you."
Now that is functionally via formality.
 
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