Council on Foreign Relations: Jewish conspiracy?

[Giordano]

To force everyone to do JOOoo-ey stuff, like eat gefilte fish and such.

Oh God, no! I'm Jewish, and gefilte fish always disgusted me.
Now, a nice lean corned beef on rye with a pickle and a knish on the side- that would be a conspiracy I would happily join.

 

[Mudcat]

Oh God, no! I'm Jewish, and gefilte fish always disgusted me.
Now, a nice lean corned beef on rye with a pickle and a knish on the side- that would be a conspiracy I would happily join.

That sounds awesome.

 

[Giordano]

MaGZ,

Think about it- nice hot corned beef, lean but with enough juice to tickle your taste buds when you bite into it, on absolutely fresh rye bread (perhaps with some dill seeds in it)- just sitting there, on a plate, yours if you want it. And next to it, a fresh baked knish, with a thin, crispy dough covering a steaming mashed potato filling that is filling your nose with delicate spicy aromas. Maybe a dill pickle too?

All this can be yours anytime you wish- just convert. Join us! We can even get you a waiver so you don't have to, um, do any trimming to any part of you. Now, do you really need to constantly run around the web denouncing our little side activities? Or trying to deduce if a name is "Jewish" or not. Wouldn't you be happy enough just with some great kosher food anytime you want? There's more than just corn beef, you know! Become one of us.

Signed, the International Jewish Conspiracy

 

[Eddie Dane]

MaGZ,

Think about it- nice hot corned beef, lean but with enough juice to tickle your taste buds when you bite into it, on absolutely fresh rye bread (perhaps with some dill seeds in it)- just sitting there, on a plate, yours if you want it. And next to it, a fresh baked knish, with a thin, crispy dough covering a steaming mashed potato filling that is filling your nose with delicate spicy aromas. Maybe a dill pickle too?

All this can be yours anytime you wish- just convert. Join us! We can even get you a waiver so you don't have to, um, do any trimming to any part of you. Now, do you really need to constantly run around the web denouncing our little side activities? Or trying to deduce if a name is "Jewish" or not. Wouldn't you be happy enough just with some great kosher food anytime you want? There's more than just corn beef, you know! Become one of us.

Signed, the International Jewish Conspiracy

I'm probably in danger of stating the obvious, but we'll throw in your complimentary Nobel prize.

We all get at least one, as you know.

 

[Border Reiver]

MaGZ,

Think about it- nice hot corned beef, lean but with enough juice to tickle your taste buds when you bite into it, on absolutely fresh rye bread (perhaps with some dill seeds in it)- just sitting there, on a plate, yours if you want it. And next to it, a fresh baked knish, with a thin, crispy dough covering a steaming mashed potato filling that is filling your nose with delicate spicy aromas. Maybe a dill pickle too?

All this can be yours anytime you wish- just convert. Join us! We can even get you a waiver so you don't have to, um, do any trimming to any part of you. Now, do you really need to constantly run around the web denouncing our little side activities? Or trying to deduce if a name is "Jewish" or not. Wouldn't you be happy enough just with some great kosher food anytime you want? There's more than just corn beef, you know! Become one of us.

Signed, the International Jewish Conspiracy

Sorry guys, love the food, but the family and I like bacon and pork chops too much to be able to abide by all the dietary rules.

But we are willing to sign on as "useful stooges", provided you continue to allow us access to Dunn's and Nate's Smoked Meat sandwiches and Strubb's Kosher Dills.

 

[LSSBB]

Sorry guys, love the food, but the family and I like bacon and pork chops too much to be able to abide by all the dietary rules.

But we are willing to sign on as "useful stooges", provided you continue to allow us access to Dunn's and Nate's Smoked Meat sandwiches and Strubb's Kosher Dills.

Ditto here, and I'd like to add that I do also enjoy Hebrew National hot dogs.

 

[JayUtah]

They can have my bacon double cheeseburger when they pry it from my fat, greasy fingers.

 

[Mudcat]

Hate to state the obvious here, but it's only certain sects of Jews that still follow the Kosher laws any more.

 

[JayUtah]

Hate to state the obvious here, but it's only certain sects of Jews that still follow the Kosher laws any more.

For a while on Ben Yehuda St. in Jerusalem you could get a Kosher Whopper, and then a few doors down also get a non-Kosher Big Mac. But if you really wanted a treat: schwarma and falafel from the place at the bottom of the street with the yellow awning. Don't remember what it's called.

 

[Mudcat]

schwarma and falafel from the place at the bottom of the street with the yellow awning. Don't remember what it's called.

There are a couple places you can get that here in Louisville. Really good eating.

 

[Giordano]

Sorry guys, love the food, but the family and I like bacon and pork chops too much to be able to abide by all the dietary rules.

But we are willing to sign on as "useful stooges", provided you continue to allow us access to Dunn's and Nate's Smoked Meat sandwiches and Strubb's Kosher Dills.

Oh, you don't know just how devious we Jews can be. Most American Jews are pretty liberal about kosher laws. I grew up eating fried rice with pork, and had milk with my meat sandwich. You are expected to feel a little tingle of guilt (which is as central to Jewishness as to Catholicism) when you violate kosher laws (knowing your grandfather would not approve), but to enjoy the meal anyway.

So you can sign on as full members!

 

[Border Reiver]

Oh, you don't know just how devious we Jews can be. Most American Jews are pretty liberal about kosher laws. I grew up eating fried rice with pork, and had milk with my meat sandwich. You are expected to feel a little tingle of guilt (which is as central to Jewishness as to Catholicism) when you violate kosher laws (knowing your grandfather would not approve), but to enjoy the meal anyway.

So you can sign on as full members!

Sorry, the Clan was raised Canadian Presbytrian - that whole guilt thing doesn't fully work for us. I think we'll stick with "useful stooge" and get
most of the benefits without the restrictions.

 

[Giordano]

Sorry, the Clan was raised Canadian Presbytrian - that whole guilt thing doesn't fully work for us. I think we'll stick with "useful stooge" and get
most of the benefits without the restrictions.

Fair enough!

Remember to paint a little bit of lamb's blood on top of your door frame so we know you are an affiliate, okay?

Okay, now where were we- oh yes, world domination, financial market manipulation, vaccine conspiracy, baking matzohs with Christian children's blood... So much to do!

Signed, The International Jewish Conspiracy

Having made up all that nonsense, I need to point out the truth. I grew up middle class Jewish in the USA. My life was as like anyone else's! I watched the same TV shows, followed the same sports, identified myself proudly as an American, did not (and do not) support Israel in much of what they do. I did not (and do not) view Jews as better or different from non-Jews. No secret rituals, no conspiracies, no links to a greater Jewish cabal. Sure- my families weddings were in a different building from the Methodist church down the block- but so were those of the Catholics. My experience is typical of most of Jews.

Given the intensely normal nature of my life, I simply cannot understand how MaGZ can think because I have a "Jewish" name that I am suspect of some dark conspiracy. Hey, MaGZ- I'm as average and loyal an American as you will ever find! Deal with it!

 

[timhau]

Having made up all that nonsense, I need to point out the truth. I grew up middle class Jewish in the USA. My life was as like anyone else's! I watched the same TV shows, followed the same sports, identified myself proudly as an American, tried to take over the World every night, did not (and do not) support Israel in much of what they do.

Fixed.

http://bestuff.com/images/images_of...from-pinky-and-the-brain-92037.jpg?1189697106

Edited by LashL: 

Changed hotlink to regular link. Please see Rule 5.

 

[Dcdrac]

Giordano Cters like mag need something and some one to be scared of it frames their entire outlook and life.

Without fear my guess is they have nothing in their life.

I see it in the Threads about muslims too, plenty of people saying they are threatening our way of life, same thing, fear and the gneration of fear of the other is what makes a lot of people tick, sad but true.

 

[Giordano]

Giordano Cters like mag need something and some one to be scared of it frames their entire outlook and life.

Without fear my guess is they have nothing in their life.

I see it in the Threads about muslims too, plenty of people saying they are threatening our way of life, same thing, fear and the gneration of fear of the other is what makes a lot of people tick, sad but true.

Absolutely true, and understood by me at an intellectual level. But when you first discover that a large number of people suspect you of all kinds of evil because of your last name, or the shape of your lips and nose, it is a chilling experience. I first learned of this when I was 7 years old. But I never fully came to terms with it, other than trying to be extra supportive and respectful of other minorities.

Of course, everyone is a minority in a sense, so I suspect almost everyone has felt themselves to be the target of prejudice (ethnic, economic, religious, etc) at some point in their lives.

 

[twinstead]

The truth is that mankind will never be any more than brutes until people like MaGZ start to wise up.

 

[timhau]

The truth is that mankind will never be any more than brutes until people like MaGZ start to wise up.

You're giving him way too much credit. We're not defined by what the scummiest 1% of us are like.

 

[amensae]

What’s all this nonsense about Jewish food?
I’m sure they only eat Christian babies.

 

[drewid]

Imagine if Obama was Obama only Jewish... Yeah, I can just see it now.

Obama's a secret Jewish Muslim?????!!!1!!1!1!