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Church Signs

"This Week: Eternal Life!" -- they must be running a special

"Your soul is too important to trust to anything else but Jesus" -- Jesus is a thing now?
 
New ones:

"This week: What kind of church should we be?" -- Oh, goody, more guilt and shame for the congregation.

"The heart of the problem is the problem of the heart" -- I suggest they talk to their doctors about eating less fat and exercising more.
 
DmKrispin said:
New ones:

"This week: What kind of church should we be?" -- Oh, goody, more guilt and shame for the congregation.

"The heart of the problem is the problem of the heart" -- I suggest they talk to their doctors about eating less fat and exercising more.
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Well the key to the second one is to remember that in much of the bible, the heart is the same as saying the mind (In Biblical Hebrew). So I think the church is saying is that the problem is that all of its congregation is mentally defective. Their words, not mine.
 
I drove by one the other day that was too long, and I was driving too fast. All I caught was:

"How to build a Jesus bridge: Take two broads..."

I mentally finished it, "...a dame, and a couple of floozies..."
 
grayman said:
Emo Phillips
:)
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Reminds me of the one where the boy wrote Santa a letter one Christmas:

"Dear Santa: Please bring me a bike for Christmas."

No bike. The next year, he wrote:

"Dear Jesus: Please give me a bike for Christmas."

Still no bike, so the next year, he stole the baby Jesus from the Nativity scene, tied it up, and wrote the following letter:

"Dear Mary: If you ever want to see your son again..."
 
There's a CoC near me that has some good ones:
"Sometimes the Majority only means that all the fools are on the same side"
I've put a video for that here

They also recently had it saying "The bible - More up to date than tomorrow's newspaper".
 
The one near me is now reading "somtimes Jesus is outside your comfort zone".

I think it is funny when they try to sound all philisophical and come off completely meaningless.
 
ReligionStudent said:
The one near me is now reading "somtimes Jesus is outside your comfort zone".
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Well, the one down the street now has:

"Lost hope? Find Jesus!"

So, if Jesus is outside your comfort zone, and hope is inside your comfort zone, you have to intentionally go outside your comfort zone, lose hope and look for Jesus.

OR ... I could just stay in my comfort zone and have another cup of coffee. :)
 
From yesterday:

"Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts" --I think what they really mean is "Believe OUR beliefs and doubt anything else".
 
I got to miss all the signs growing up... All I had was church, parking lot, parking lot, church, block of homes, church, baseball field, church, parking lot, parking lot, church...
 
I prefer the saying

"Jesus saves. Gretzky scores on the rebound."

I saw a sign I actually agreed with once. It was non-religious which is why I thought about it instead of just laughing.

"Wealth is a matter of what you value."
 
Bumper sticker:

God was my copilot, then we crashed into the mountains and I had to eat him.
 
Two from today:

"The Mystery of Faith" -- What's so mysterious about faith? You just have to turn off your brain and "believe", right?

"If you believed in something that wasn't true would you want to know it?" -- Ummm, yes?? Unfortunately, the congregation's answer is likely to be "no".
 
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I wish the churches near my home were this interesting. Typically, they just predict gloom, doom, and apocalypse now. Though one church near my abode has a sign currently displaying undecipherable gibberish.
 
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MelBrooksfan said:
I wish the churches near my home were this interesting. Typically, they just predict gloom, doom, and apocalypse now. Though one church near my abode has a sign currently displaying undecipherable gibberish.
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Oh, problems, huh? You should go to this church; they just changed their sign yesterday:

"Your problems are not too big for God" :rolleyes:
 
From two churches across the street from each other:

"If you want to prove Christianity, you have to practice it"

"Prayer requires practice, not proof"

Talk about a circular argument!
 
Apparently one of the pastors on Christianforums, where I go by USincognito, decided to send me a personal message on his church sign.
 

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They invited you to the church, so go and debate their religion there.

Church sign local church here:

Think meek is weak? Try being meek for a week.


Same churck 2 weeks earlier:

God whispers to us in our pleasures, but he screams in our pain.

(doesn't that sound a bit creepy?)
 
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