Canada is invading Minnesota!

This is getting bad folks, I am peeking out my curtain and I just took this picture of a member of a Canadian rape squad. That's why they call them mounties my grandma told me.

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Ps. I'd like to thank the great people of South Dakota for the beer shipment, and the people of the great state of Wisconsin for the cheese. Iowa where are you?
 
Javalar said:


Maintenant rien ne peut nous arrêter! Si jamais vous résistez, on va toute vous bombarder avec notre poutine qui nous reste en stock (personne icitte quyé assez fou pour manger ça). Pis si jamais ça fonctionne pas, on va envoyer la poutine italienne tab¢¤@nak! Cr¤ss que ça sa a du pétant!
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Would the poutine be home made or store bought? This might influence how I feel about it.
 
Frank Newgent said:
Would the poutine be home made or store bought? This might influence how I feel about it.
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Les poutines son fait dans nos installations spéciales, nom de code: "La belle province". On emploie seulement les meilleurs ingédients: des bonnes frites graisseuses frites dans de l'huile pas changée depuis 3 jours, des crottes de fromage de la plus haute qualité (s'qui ne veut pas dire grand chose) pis d'la sauce de chez St-Hubert. Si on veut que ça soit de la poutine italienne, on met d'la bonne sauce michigan à la place de la sauce de chez St-Hubert.

Mais on a pas rien que d'la poutine! Comme arme chimique on peut nourrir les soldats avec des bonnes binnes. Si vous êtes capabes de résister à leurs pets, ben là y va falloir trouver autre chose.

P.S. Parle dont en frança si tu veut'faire comprendre cr¤¢s d'amaricain! Trop boqué pour aprendre la langue des autres. Nous autre on va s'emparer de Détroit pis on voir après si vous ôsez utiliser l'angla, tarb¢¤nak!
 
GWB Orders Counter Attack

The POTUS ordered the use of an advanced MOAB to fight the Canadian invasion of Minnesota.
 
Re: GWB Orders Counter Attack

Supercharts said:
The POTUS ordered the use of an advanced MOAB to fight the Canadian invasion of Minnesota.
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T¤b¢rn¦k! Quelqu'un, pour l'amour de dieu, crever mes yeux!
 
I think they're resupplying in the west!

For some reason last night as we went to buy water, canned vegetables and fruits, and canned/dried/preserved meats in case it happened to us out here in the west, I noticed that the CostCo was full of large, stubble-cheeked men who went "eh?". They were rolling carts full of Miller's Lite and Bu-Dwei-Shr (that's Budweiser for those of you who don't know what Bu Dwei Shr means in Mandarin) out the door, and loading them into large trucks with Ontario license plates.

Are we next?:eek:
 
Latest update on Operation It's All Really Part of Canada Anyway:

In response to the invasion of Minnesota by Canadian Imperialists, the nations of Leichtenstein, San Marino, Monaco, and Andorra have invaded France. The French have, of course, surrendered. The Canadian Ambassador remarked "What does all this business have to do with Canada anyway?" The UN is considering the possibility of passing a resolution threatening unspecified consequences at some undefined later date for all involved in the dispute. France has threatened to veto the resolution, as has Canada before they realized they can't do that.
 
I knew something was up when the wife and I wandered into the American Legion bar in Grand Marais Saturday night (true story) and there were only 2 very nervious looking patrons and a young woman behind the bar that said "eh" a lot. One of the drinkers had a thick French accent. I asked about the cross border relations being effected by the war, and the bartender said that Canadians love Minnesota.

Covet, I suppose she meant. I bet the old Legionaires of the post were locked in the back room as I sat and drank their beer. Or, more likely, placed in the back room and told stearnly but politely not to open the door, Canadian forces not thinking to look for a lock.

The English speaking drinker told me that he wished Jesse were still governor. Me too, now. Kick those Canadians back across the border. Not like this Republican Lite gov who weasles the definition of "tax" better than Clinton ever imagined twisting the meaning of "is". Oh, well, I guess we had this coming, eh?
 
Christ...you people nearly got me fired with my loud demonic laughter.
Wouldnt it be funny to have a website with updates...a made up map showing various cities under control. Have fake interviews and everything? Attacks on US beer outlets...the american resistance(burning Anne Murray and Celine Dion in effigy)

I remember Rick Mercer once did a show where<with US permission> he set up anew US-Canada border in California complete with mounties and everything. The americans simply didnt care and went on with their lives beleiving it was for real.
 
I can't believe Iowa is not giving us any support. Heck, I know the Mississippi River runs south because Iowa sucks, but still.

Jesse has been helping morale through his broadcasts on the radio free Minnesota station. Pawlenty has been covorting with the enemy and he will be dealt with harshly if we repel this Canadian invasion. There's talk of all sorts of tortures for Pawlenty including making him eat some really hot peppers. Damn, I'm glad I'm not him.

There are mounties everywhere and their horses are pooping all over. It is becoming an environmental crisis, poisoning our ground water. We don't need water though just beer. If you are reading this, please send more. Thanks to Lisa for the shipment but I wonder where the Heck is North Dakota? There are about ten people there, don't they care about Minnesota?

I'm just thankful that the Canadians have not cut off our internet access yet. Please pray for us.
 
Alaric said:
Christ...you people nearly got me fired with my loud demonic laughter.
Wouldnt it be funny to have a website with updates...a made up map showing various cities under control. Have fake interviews and everything? Attacks on US beer outlets...the american resistance(burning Anne Murray and Celine Dion in effigy)

I remember Rick Mercer once did a show where<with US permission> he set up anew US-Canada border in California complete with mounties and everything. The americans simply didnt care and went on with their lives beleiving it was for real.
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This is no joke. Help me.:D
 
Denise said:

This is no joke. Help me.:D
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I have seen your "I love you JK" thread and have reached the conclusion that you are beyond help.


P.S. You can keep my toothbrush, I'll buy a new one.
 
arcticpenguin said:

I have seen your "I love you JK" thread and have reached the conclusion that you are beyond help.


P.S. You can keep my toothbrush, I'll buy a new one.
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Fine! The old love her and leave her. I thought better of you.
 
Alaric said:
At least he let you keep the toothrbrush. I wouldnt have out of principal
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I think you mean principle. I wouldn't have the principal either. Ewww!
 
Denise said:
There are mounties everywhere and their horses are pooping all over.
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Watch out for the ones that run around, grinning like idiots, screaming "I'll save you, Nell!!"
 
Denise said:
I can't believe Iowa is not giving us any support.
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The governor of Iowa has just gone on the air and said that he will provide support, if Minnesota agrees to return to the original borders of the "Iowa Territory."

(The Iowa Territory basically encompassed all of Iowa and Minnesota. Look it up if you don't believe me.)

Meanwhile, some folks in Minnesota have taken to chanting: "54-40 or fight! 54-40 or fight! Aw screw it, fight anyway!"
 
More help on the way.
But don't expect anything from North Dakota. All the of them showed up for the Sturgis rally last year, and we can't get rid of them. Not really worth the trouble of explusion, and the local Wal-Mart needed more employees.
What I need to you to is go to the first rest stop on I-90. Behind the main building, you'll find a cooler and a backpack. I've left you a couple cases of cold beer, some Doritos (ranch flavor), a carton of Marlboros, and a sewing kit.
Don't worry about me getting past the South Dakota National Guard. Found out the folks holding the border are only E1-2's. I'll wear one of my old uniforms and bluff my way through.
 
But, Lisa, how am I going to be able to get past the truck drivers? I've see many of them with Canadian plates. I think they are part of the Canadian army and are spies for them. My daughter was forced to pledge allegiance to some guy called Jean Paul Cretian today. I'm gonna try to make it to the rest stop. Will there be Wall Drug signs?
 
More on the refugee situation. I just got off the phone with the SD Governor.
"Gov Rounds? Me again. I think we're going to be flooded with refugees as a result of the Canada/Minnesota conflict. Any word on setting up refugee camps?"
"Well Lisa, do you still think Pierre would be the best location?"
"Yes sir, I do"
"Tell me Lisa, has anyone actually found Pierre yet? I mean, when Janklow was governor, he was always calling me. Governor's mansion this, governor's mansion that. I'll be he spent his whole tenure hanging out at the Old No. 10 Saloon in Deadwood."
"Sir, if you're not in Pierre, where are you? How are you governing the state? What do you do all day?"
"I'm still in Sioux Falls. Mainly I play Everquest and write hate mail to that jerk Daschle. That guy seriously pisses me off"
"Governor, can't you ask the Lt. Governor where the state capitol is?"
"We have a Lt. Governor?"
"Sir, I'll get back to you"
"Lisa, did you like the tee shirt I wore in my campaign posters?"
"Black's your color sir"

So you see Denise, we here in South Dakota are really rolling up our sleeve to provide the best relief possible for the people of Minnesota. If there's anything else I can do, please don't hesitate to ask.
 
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