Canada is invading Minnesota!

[Pyrrho]

Fear not! The USS Cod has left port in Cleveland and is on its way thru the Great Lakes to help repel the invasion from Soviet Canuckistan!

Even has a torpedo...

http://www.usscod.org/torpload.html

 

[Frank Newgent]

Les poutines son fait dans nos installations spéciales, nom de code: "La belle province". On emploie seulement les meilleurs ingédients: des bonnes frites graisseuses frites dans de l'huile pas changée depuis 3 jours, des crottes de fromage de la plus haute qualité (s'qui ne veut pas dire grand chose) pis d'la sauce de chez St-Hubert. Si on veut que ça soit de la poutine italienne, on met d'la bonne sauce michigan à la place de la sauce de chez St-Hubert.

Mais on a pas rien que d'la poutine! Comme arme chimique on peut nourrir les soldats avec des bonnes binnes. Si vous êtes capabes de résister à leurs pets, ben là y va falloir trouver autre chose.

P.S. Parle dont en frança si tu veut'faire comprendre cr¤¢s d'amaricain! Trop boqué pour aprendre la langue des autres. Nous autre on va s'emparer de Détroit pis on voir après si vous ôsez utiliser l'angla, tarb¢¤nak!

Mon chien adorable de pug Smegma a été mangé par un cavalier de l'état une fois. L'Italien regardé me. Devrait un le bonne sauce michigan a été suffisant pour éviter la prise?

 

[Walter Wayne]

More help on the way.
But don't expect anything from North Dakota. All the of them showed up for the Sturgis rally last year, and we can't get rid of them. Not really worth the trouble of explusion, and the local Wal-Mart needed more employees.
What I need to you to is go to the first rest stop on I-90. Behind the main building, you'll find a cooler and a backpack. I've left you a couple cases of cold beer, some Doritos (ranch flavor), a carton of Marlboros, and a sewing kit.
Don't worry about me getting past the South Dakota National Guard. Found out the folks holding the border are only E1-2's. I'll wear one of my old uniforms and bluff my way through.

Communication intercepted.

Beer, Doritos and Marlboros confiscated.

You can have the sewing kit.

Walt

 

[Javalar]

Mon chien adorable de pug Smegma a été mangé par un cavalier de l'état une fois. L'Italien regardé me. Devrait un le bonne sauce michigan a été suffisant pour éviter la prise?

Okay, now that the whole april fool's day thing is over. Can you tell me what the heck you're saying?

Did you just write random french words?

 

[Denise]

I wish to inform you all that Canada has withdrawn their forces. They have decided that they really don't want to occupy Minnesota after all, but they are thinking about going after New York. Jean Paul Cretian has apologized for what he called "the drunken action of a few." He also said, " I hope relations between our two countries can improve after this little mistake."

I just got done taking down the Canadian flags that a couple drunk mounties had put all over my lawn. Now, I have to go pick up all the beer bottles. My garbage bill is gonna be high this week. Thanks to everyone for their support. Especially Lisa!

 

[Frank Newgent]

Okay, now that the whole april fool's day thing is over. Can you tell me what the heck you're saying?

Did you just write random french words?

M'excuse, le monsieur?

I tried to follow your lead. I said that a state trooper had eaten my pug Smegma when the bonne sauce michigan - whatever the hell that is - ought to have been sufficient to keep me from being arrested.

You Quebecois are odd...

 

[Javalar]

M'excuse, le monsieur?

I tried to follow your lead. I said that a state trooper had eaten my pug Smegma when the bonne sauce michigan - whatever the hell that is - ought to have been sufficient to keep me from being arrested.

You Quebecois are odd...

Then what you probably meant was:

Mon adorable chien de race pug à été mangé par un policier de l'état. La bonne sauce michigan n'aurait-elle pas été suffisante pour éviter de me faire arrêter?

or in good old Québécois:

C@l!ss£! La police a mangé mon chien pug. La sauce michigan aurais tu dû m'permettre de pas m'faire arrêter?

 

[Frank Newgent]

C@l!ss£! La police a mangé mon chien pug. La sauce michigan aurais tu dû m'permettre de pas m'faire arrêter?

Merci, le monsieur. La prochaine fois j'évitera l'usage du Freetranslation.Com et me garde l'écriture d'une langue que je comprends tel que l'Espagnol.

 

[John Bryce]

Canadian Special Forces.

 

[Segnosaur]

Re: I think they're resupplying in the west!

For some reason last night as we went to buy water, canned vegetables and fruits, and canned/dried/preserved meats in case it happened to us out here in the west, I noticed that the CostCo was full of large, stubble-cheeked men who went "eh?". They were rolling carts full of Miller's Lite and Bu-Dwei-Shr out the door, and loading them into large trucks with Ontario license plates.

Isn't American beer just like water?

 

[Segnosaur]

I wish to inform you all that Canada has withdrawn their forces. They have decided that they really don't want to occupy Minnesota after all, but they are thinking about going after New York. Jean Paul Cretian has apologized for what he called "the drunken action of a few." He also said, " I hope relations between our two countries can improve after this little mistake."

Actually, the real reason we Canadians stopped our invasion is that we couldn't agree on a good name for the war.

We were going to use "Mother of all Battles", but apparently that was already trademarked by someone in the middle east.

We tried to decide on a few others:
- God Mother of all Battles
- Great Aunt of all battles
- Second cousin twice removed of all battles
But none of them had the proper sound. So, we decided to go back home to our Canadian football league and Anne Murray albums.

 

[Lisa]

Actually, they tried to expand to South Dakota. Then they saw all the signs for Wall Drug and the Mitchell Corn Palace. It was at this point they fled.
Those billboards aren't for advertising, they're an offensive weapon.

 

[Roadtoad]

Re: Re: I think they're resupplying in the west!

Isn't American beer just like water?

No, water tastes better.

 

[jj]

Re: Re: Re: I think they're resupplying in the west!

No, water tastes better.

Well, the old riddle goes:

Why is american beer like making love in a canoe?