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Can you stop drinking?

steverino said:
Since you corrected my (old) English, let me point out that "Tea-totaller" is NOT spelled "tee-totaller," unless you choose golf over booze!
:D :D :D
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Teatotaler is not a word! If you're going to be pedantic open a dictionary first. It's spelled "teetotaler," for beer's sake.
 
KelvinG said:
I love to go out every now and again and drink excessively.
However, I have no booze in my house. Unless it's a social thing, I will never, ever drink alcohol.
Yet, there is no doubt that often I drink with the intent of getting drunk.
I've also had times when I've quit drinking for months at a time and never even thought about having a boozy drink.

So, if someone were to see me blitzed at a bar on a Saturday night, they might say "he has a problem."
But, I'm quite positive I don't.
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I know excactly how you feel.
 
Drinking responsibly

By making the statement, "There is no such thing as drinking responsibly," it seems I have insulted a few people who feel that when they drink, they do so responsibly. To those of you who feel insulted, my apologies. Obviously, it's your life, and nobody can tell you how to live it.

Almost everyone I love drinks alcohol sometimes. There are no alcoholics in my immediate family, although I have known alcoholics, and it's serious business.

When I drank, I always considered myself to be a responsible drinker. Never hurt anyone while drunk. No DUIs. Never lost a job, never missed work. Generally, my drinking would be maybe two glasses of wine or beer a few days every week, and maybe one or two weekends a month when I would have maybe eight drinks or so during the course of an evening and night. On vacation I'd have much more. If someone had told me then that I was not drinking responsibly, I might have been insulted, just as a few of you seem to be.

The more I thought about it, though, the less I could justify drinking.

I can see the damage that drinking alcohol does to some people. I have a friend whose father froze to death in winter after drinking and passing out outside. I've seen fistfights break out between friends who were drinking, friends who probably wouldn't be fighting if they hadn't been drinking.

What does that have to do with having just one glass of wine during dinner? Well, in this culture, I do not have one glass of wine during dinner in a social vacuum. When I have that glass of wine, I become a willing participant in the cultural acceptance of alcohol.

When I have that glass of wine, I'm one more face in the crowd of people who, through their actions, communicate that drinking alcohol is no problem. Only we all know that as long as people drink alcohol, there is going to be a problem. A serious problem, documented in studies.

How can I be 100 percent sure that sometime in the future, if I continue to drink, it won't become a problem for me? There are countless people out there who always thought of themselves as responsible drinkers, until they woke up one morning and realized they had become alcoholics or drunk drivers. Am I somehow immune? Maybe I am. I think I am. But I don't know what the future holds.

I came to the conclusion that when I drink even just a glass of wine with a meal:

1) I gamble with my future. I plant seeds that could grow into alcoholism. Why plant those seeds at all?

2) I participate in a culture of drinking in our society that I can see is harmful. Some of us show disdain for those who don't drink. Many of us pressure each other to drink. We laugh about drinking. We treat it like one big joke. Alcohol is a huge, huge part of our culture. That's probably why so many people have taken my OP so personally.

3) I become an example to the children and teenagers in my life who might look to me as a role model. They see that I drink. They see that drinking is socially acceptable. I hope none of them ever becomes an alcoholic or drunk driver, but if they do, I'll wish I had never had a drink in front of them.

4) I support the alcohol industry economically.

On the other hand, if I choose not to drink, I create in my own small way the momentum of social change. If more people did the same thing, we could slowly change the culture of drinking in our society that clearly and obviously results in tremendous harm. But if I choose to drink, then nothing in society changes. I'm not making a difference; I'm just going along with the flow. I could justify that decision by claiming I'm not really harming anyone. In doing so, I would deny the very notion that society can change one person at a time. I would reject the idea that change must start with me.

When I see ugliness, I do not want to participate in it. In my personal opinion, given what I can see in society, I believe there is an element of irresponsibility in the decision to drink any alcohol. It's a matter of opinion based on what I've observed in life. Of course you can be skeptical about my opinion and have a different opinion.

I believe that a person who can't stop drinking for a month has a problem. But I don't believe everyone who drinks has a problem. I recognize that lots of people who drink do not have a problem.

I don't preach to my friends or family about drinking. I just quietly don't drink any more, and if they ask me about it, I say: "I'm just not drinking today." If they want to know more, I'll tell them.

I knew the OP was preachy when I wrote it. If getting up on the soapbox is inappropriate in this forum, then I apologize. But I figured this would be a good place for a discussion like this.
 
“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”

-Frank
 
I believe that a person who can't stop drinking for a month has a problem. But I don't believe everyone who drinks has a problem. I recognize that lots of people who drink do not have a problem.
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What's so magically about the 30 days compared to 45 days or 365 days or three days?
 
nosho, it seems to me that your basic argument is "X is not always a problem, but some people abuse X and make it a problem, so I don't partake in X even though I am not one of those people."

This is simply nonsensical. Most anything can become a problem for individual people - gambling, watching TV, porn, spending time on the internet.

In fact take that last one. I'm sure that for some people, the internet becomes addictive. It consumes their lives, destroys their relationships, their job can suffer, whatever. Some people are stalked through the internet - I've seen that happen personally, and the guy ended up in the news and in jail in part because of it. And of course, it's an excellent recruiting ground for paedophiles and such.

Now for the vast majority of internet users, none of these things is a problem. But every time you use the net you may be planting a seed that will grow into addiction. Every time you use it you are contributing to a culture of internet use. You become a role model to those who would see you on the internet - look, I am spending more time on the internet than I otherwise would, because I'm taking time out to respond to you! And of course every time you use it you are supporting the internet industry economically.

So, will you stop using the internet? I bet you won't, and when you understand why you will understand why your reasons for not drinking also don't make sense.
 
nosho said:
By making the statement, "There is no such thing as drinking responsibly," it seems I have insulted a few people who feel that when they drink, they do so responsibly.
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Insulted? No. But if you say something that mind-bogglingly silly on this board with a single thing to back it up, you can expect to be called on it.

I can see the damage that drinking alcohol does to some people.
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I can see the damage that riding motorcycles does to some people. I'm still not giving up my Beemer, though. And to say "there's no such thing as riding responsibly" because I have seen said damage would be no less ridiculous than your pronouncement.

What does that have to do with having just one glass of wine during dinner? Well, in this culture, I do not have one glass of wine during dinner in a social vacuum. When I have that glass of wine, I become a willing participant in the cultural acceptance of alcohol.

When I have that glass of wine, I'm one more face in the crowd of people who, through their actions, communicate that drinking alcohol is no problem.
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It's not a problem in itself.

Only we all know that as long as people drink alcohol, there is going to be a problem. A serious problem, documented in studies.
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No, we don't know that. You have completely failed to provide evidence for it.

How can I be 100 percent sure that sometime in the future, if I continue to drink, it won't become a problem for me?
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What a stupid line of logic.

How can I be 100% sure that sometime in the future, if I continue to ride my motorcycle, it won't eventually kill me?
How can I be 100% sure that sometime in the future, if I continue to drive my car to work, I won't eventually get a ticket?
How can I be 100% sure that sometime in the future, if I continue to eat bacon cheeseburgers, I won't have a heart attack?

You want a zero-risk life? Move to a cave in the middle of nowhere.

There are countless people out there who always thought of themselves as responsible drinkers, until they woke up one morning and realized they had become alcoholics or drunk drivers.
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They didn't "wake up one morning and realize they had become alcoholics or drunk drivers." Alcoholism is a preventable disease. Being a drunk driver is an easily preventable behavior.

2) I participate in a culture of drinking in our society that I can see is harmful.
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What arrogant claptrap. "Culture of drinking." Please.

3) I become an example to the children and teenagers in my life who might look to me as a role model.
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Speaking of arrogance...

4) I support the alcohol industry economically.
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As we all know, the alcohol industry is just absolutely horrible! I mean, they start civil wars to control access over their precious alcohol, they support tyranical regimes in the Middle East...

Oh, wait. No, they just pay for silly Super Bowl ads.

I don't preach to my friends or family about drinking.
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Instead, you preach to everyone else. Gee, thanks.

I knew the OP was preachy when I wrote it. If getting up on the soapbox is inappropriate in this forum, then I apologize. But I figured this would be a good place for a discussion like this.
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No, soapboxes are par for the course. Throwing around unsupported, ridiculous claims like "there is no such thing as responsible drinking"--that is where you run into trouble.
 
Cleon said:
You want a zero-risk life? Move to a cave in the middle of nowhere.
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Wait - you forget the possibility of being bitten by a rabid bat or killed if the roof caves in.:D

ETA: or dying of hanta virus from rodent feces or falling off an underground cliff in the dark or knocking yourself cold on a stalactite...
 
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steverino said:
Tea-totaller" is NOT spelled "tee-totaller,"
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Actually, no - it is "tee-total", or "teetotal" if you prefer. It was apparently coined in the mid 19th Century in a speech by a chap who wanted to emphasise what a good idea totality was in avoiding drink. "Total with a Capital T" might be a modern equivalent.
 
RyanRoberts said:
I think Mel Gibson's case illustrates the danger of being an egotistical antisemitic man child rather than the inherent evils of alcohol.

You Yanks are so uptight about the booze its unbelievable. If you want to see an alcohol problem, try going out on a Friday night in a northern British town.
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I'm a Yank and I agree with you. I don't have a drinking problem. I love to drink.
 
richardm said:
Actually, no - it is "tee-total", or "teetotal" if you prefer. It was apparently coined in the mid 19th Century in a speech by a chap who wanted to emphasise what a good idea totality was in avoiding drink. "Total with a Capital T" might be a modern equivalent.
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Actually, no; tee-total is an adjective. Tee-totally is an adverb, and tee-totaller is the noun. Words often go through drift. Google is a noun that has been verbed. Tee-total is an adjective that has been nouned. In fact, verb and noun are nouns that have been verbed.

Isn't English fun!? :p
 
Tea-total wouldn't make any sense for me anyway: not only do I not drink alcohol, I don't drink tea either.

I do have a ten tee a day habit though.
 
slingblade said:
Actually, no; tee-total is an adjective. Tee-totally is an adverb, and tee-totaller is the noun. Words often go through drift. Google is a noun that has been verbed. Tee-total is an adjective that has been nouned. In fact, verb and noun are nouns that have been verbed.

Isn't English fun!? :p
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That sounds like a great new extreme-marketing campaign for the folks at Lipton.

"Tea. TOTALLY!"
 
Elizabeth I said:
Wait - you forget the possibility of being bitten by a rabid bat or killed if the roof caves in.:D

ETA: or dying of hanta virus from rodent feces or falling off an underground cliff in the dark or knocking yourself cold on a stalactite...
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Or be eaten by a grue.
 
nosho said:
That's right. We have to make realistic choices. I think it's realistic to choose not to drink alcohol.
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And I think it is a realistic choice to drink as much as you can handle, or as little as you can handle. Learn, adapt, and find your zone.

I find it foolish to play chicken little over someone else's choice of drinking on an internet board. If someone you know has a massive drinking problem, deal with that situation in real life, don't piss and moan on an internet forum.

DR
 
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