Where then do you draw the line between a rational concept and an irrational one? Is the Christian God rational and The IPU (Bless Her Name) irrational?
Pink Unicorns! Bah humbug! I'll tell you about Pink Unicorns!
have you not read the
Revelations of Noodle, the Pastafarian gnostic text?
Lo! on the 15th day when the small furry animals were a whitterin' and the birds a twitterin and the danish bikers smoking da weed on da beach, not much happened.
Yet on the sixteenth day, about the Twelfth Hour, if you lived in Attica, which no one in this Holy Text did, Larsen did yawn. And the Creationists did tremble and abase themselves: stercus maximus, world without end.
And on the seventeenth day Her Equine Horniness did grow bored, and note that the Humans did disparage her holy Name. And Lo, Hi, and Twist, she did decide to manifest in her glory.
And so it came to pass that in a basement where CJ laboured over a hot keyboard, bashing out a text on medieval hagiography, there was a smell of candy floss, and the Invisible Goddess did manifest. Her pinkness was beyond all human pink, and her visibility was beyond all human visibility - she was fully visible and fully invisible, and at the same time pink beyond all words. She was INEFFABLY pink.
CJ almost dropped his coffee. He was not expecting a visit from any Goddess, and if he had he might have cleared up a bit. Unfortunately the beatific vision before him was not entirely what he had in mind when he though of encounters with goddesses... Still, here she is, as far as humans can depict the vision he beheld.
from
http://www.horseandponysales.co.uk
He was appalled, and swiftly raised a copy of
The God Delusion, and a Crucifix. The unicorn goddess ignored him, and contentedly munched upon the [carpet 1]. "Come not in that form, come not in that form!" yelled CJ, traumatized. He recalled the night when he was younger and pulled the cute goth chick only to find she was wearing My Little Pony knickers, and was so freaked even though she was 25 he had just made coffee and excuses. But that was Many Years Ago, and is chronicled in the
Epistle to the Cheltonians, or rather is'nt cos it's embarrassing so we edited that bit out. [2]
"back back from whence ye came foul being of the Pit!" yelled CJ, advancing menacingly upon the unicorn goddess, armed with a stuffed mongoose.
The Goddess stopped grazing and looked thoughtfully upon him. "is this form displeasing to you?"
CJ gulped, and nodded. There was a flash of ineffable pinkness, pink beyond pink, and the Goddess instantly changed shape...
{Original contained picture of scantily clad girl with pink hair and unicorn horn on head - not appropriate for this forum}
CJ paused, and suddenly saw that actually this divine visitation had its positive side. He mentally resolved to avoid all horny jokes. "Er, goddess" he said, "come and tell em of wonderous things! Indeed, sit on my knee while we discuss the metaphysical implications of the Irenaean Theodicy."
And alas, those words were his undoing. Suddenly he was thinking theologically. "Goddess, by your physical manifestation - and i must say it is very physical and definitely INEFFABLE" - the unicorn goddess giggled, or neighed "do you not remove my gift of Free Will? Now I have seen you manifest, I can not disbelieve, so now I have no longer faith, but merely a pragmatic response to your divine existence?"
The unicorn goddess snorted derisively. She seemed strangely unimpressed, and a swift horn t the stomach caused CJ to decide to lay off the theology, but slowly she became troubled. "For without faith how can I respond freely?" CJ shouted, clutching his nads, which hurt noetically from the low blow.
"humph!" said the Goddess. "Some people are simply not worth manifesting to... but I'll check with Head Office, may have been a policy change." And she trotted off through the wall, and vanished.
And Lo! CJ did wail and gnash his teeth and was sore pissed off. Indeed do many things come to pass. [3]
Footnotes
1 Some early Phillistine texts here substitute the word 'yrgg', which is believed by some to mean 'the arse of his trousers.' However the translation is disputed, and most manuscripts favour "carpet".
2 The Epistle to the Cheltonians was written by Hugh of Newmarket, and theological differences lead to many discrepancies in accounts between this J text and the earlier H text which reflects an Eastern tradition strongly influenced by the consumption of Greene King ales.
3. CJ went on to become famous as the theologian with no horn, and was mocked by all. He was eventually martyred by being fed alive to a basket full of ravenous weasels after an unfortunate comment about a skepchicks hemlines led to his official excommunication from the Reformed Church of Dawkens. His followers, the
lewdpervs are still found in Central Mongolia, practicing heretical doctrines and eating breakfast cereals.
cj x
So?
