Buzzwords: Thumbs Up and Thumbs Down

Does anyone have a little more-or less innocent fun coining their own, preferably slightly unsavoury ones?

"This is a real Mussolini problem, we just need the right lamp-post"

No, I don't know what it means either.
 
Hokulele said:
Everyone I know in the computer industry has started misusing "bandwidth".

"Will you finish that report this week?"

"Sorry, I just don't have the bandwidth right now."


Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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Ewwww! I'll be watching for that - it hasn't hit these shores, yet.
 
If there's one word that makes me wince, it's "pro-active".

What are the users of this word implying? They're for "active" (unlike those lazy, do-nothing competitors who are "agin" active).

I've heard a number of management and motivational-type people use the word. When I hear it, my eyes instantly glaze over, and I go into a stupor ...

Charlie (a pro-active stupor, though) Monoxide
 
Charlie Monoxide said:
If there's one word that makes me wince, it's "pro-active".

What are the users of this word implying? They're for "active" (unlike those lazy, do-nothing competitors who are "agin" active).

I've heard a number of management and motivational-type people use the word. When I hear it, my eyes instantly glaze over, and I go into a stupor ...

Charlie (a pro-active stupor, though) Monoxide
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Eh?

Not sure whether you might be having a jape here, but proactive is good, being the opposite of reactive. Do you want a sales rep who sits at his desk waiting for customers to call (reactive), or one who gets out there and makes it happen (proactive)?

If you have a more succinct way of putting it, let me know - I use it all the time!
 
I think I agree with both of you (Charlie and T.A.) on "proactive", somewhat.

I think it's over-used, and I sometimes wonder if the user has the basic understanding of what the word means. It's become a mantra much like "sees opportunities, not problems". So that extent, I think Charlies' got a point.

However, T.A. has it precisely right. It's got a very specific meaning and I find that there's no other single word that can be used in its place. If there was one, I'd use it... but just because, as I said, proactive is over-used.

Plus - it's just not a nice word. It kind of grates on me.
 
A few I've found useful for getting points across:

"Don't boil the ocean to make a cup of tea" - used when discussion about a project's goal starts to get really broad and deep; I like it better than "scope creep".

"PEBKAC" - Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair. Incredibly useful. :)
 
I frequently see job postings by software companies that "manage relationships", "help clients gain market power", "implement next-generation technologies", etc. etc. They sometimes go on for several pages without giving the slightest hint as to what it is they actually do.
 
Foolmewunz said:
Everyone's got their pet hates ("grow your business" was mine for ages), but do you actually employ them and if so, which ones do you actually like or use?

Like:

Viral Marketing - just love the image it creates in my fevered imagination
(I have no use for it in my business, though!)

Hate:
Push the Envelope - just what the H does it mean?
Seamless - so overused in my business

Use:
Think Outside the Box - lazy habit! I could just as easily say, "be creative".
Win Win - ditto above

Recently I've been forcing myself to use Think Outside the Envelope. It helps me to remember not to use trite expressions.
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Push the envelope is the same as think outside the box for all practical purposes - both just mean expand your thinking process so you are entertaining concepts beyond those you have previously entertained. Those who can already are. Those who can't never will.

It's all grist for the WOO Lords of Management Seminars.:jaw-dropp :jaw-dropp
 
Rob Lister said:
I think [the use of] pushing the envelope dates back to attempting to surpass the speed of sound. Attempting anything right on the edge of the impossible.

The one I hate is Synergy.
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But you need synergy to push the envelope so you can mine the opportunities for grasping low-hanging fruit 110% of the time whilst using the remainder to think outside the box of fish from that fish market video they made you watch in another management seminar!!!:D :jaw-dropp
 
I find 'facilitate' is a word that can really separate people out into 'wanker' and 'nice'.

I used to do a lot of work for youth services in my town. They once held a seminar for their workers (not for me) and the old head of the youth drop-in area and her replacement had to work together.

The old head of the area is lovely - now has a much better job and a family - and when I was talking about it to her afterwards she said, "Ugh. So much of it was common sense or just wanky."

The new head is useless. Couldn't organise a piss up in a pub, and because she's in charge she just expects everyone to do her work for her. I asked her how the seminar was...

"Really good. Most of our time was spent learning to better facilitate our time and communication."
 
Foolmewunz said:
I think I agree with both of you (Charlie and T.A.) on "proactive", somewhat.

I think it's over-used, and I sometimes wonder if the user has the basic understanding of what the word means. It's become a mantra much like "sees opportunities, not problems". So that extent, I think Charlies'* got a point.

However, T.A. has it precisely right. It's got a very specific meaning and I find that there's no other single word that can be used in its place. If there was one, I'd use it... but just because, as I said, proactive is over-used.

Plus - it's just not a nice word. It kind of grates on me.
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Agree on the usage, but that could equally apply to lots of words we use by default. I'm pretty sure that one's here to stay, although some twat will no doubt think up a new one. I'd use "effectual" and "ineffectual" if I thought more than 10% of people would know what I meant.

Modified said:
I frequently see job postings by software companies that "manage relationships", "help clients gain market power", "implement next-generation technologies", etc. etc. They sometimes go on for several pages without giving the slightest hint as to what it is they actually do.
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I'd go with all but "managing relationships". That a very helpful term and as with proactive, there aren't too many comments which are as useful to describe a job which involves, .. um... managing relationships! Much, much, much better to tell someone that they will be working with customers one on one than suggesting they will be "strategising at the customer interface*".

Mobyseven said:
I find 'facilitate' is a word that can really separate people out into 'wanker' and 'nice'.

I used to do a lot of work for youth services in my town.
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(bolding mine)

I'd say that's the one I hate the most - facilitate. Worst word ever. Quite frequently facilitates heart attack, stroke and apoplexy, maybe.

I frequently ask why it is that anything which is even remotely quasi-, or governmental, uses that term in every sentence.

I suspect it's one of those which results from trying to be PC in language, that whenever there is the slightest doubt about the correctness of the word to be used, use "facilitate" instead.

*Using nouns as verbs gains extra points in the management-speak courses at local polytechs, I am quite convinced.
 
The Atheist said:
I'd go with all but "managing relationships". That a very helpful term and as with proactive, there aren't too many comments which are as useful to describe a job which involves, .. um... managing relationships!
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That would be fine if they explained what sort of relationships they manage and in what way they manage them, but they never do.
 
The one that's very annoying to me is "orientate," and I'm seeing it in common usage too, although my first encounters were in business context. "Orient" is a perfectly good word, and means exactly the same as whatever people are trying to communicate with their extended version.

I also immensely dislike "at the end of the day" and "my name is on the door" -- and in fact, one of the heros at the large corporation that employed me for over a decade put out a video which he titled "At The End Of The Day, My Name Is On The Door." It always made me wonder whose name was on the door in the morning?
 
Modified said:
That would be fine if they explained what sort of relationships they manage and in what way they manage them, but they never do.
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Well, it hasn't been made self-explanatory in the rest of the piece, then yes, the writer needs a good kick in the goolies.
 
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