Bigfoot DNA

[jhunter1163]

All I have is Alice's Restaurant running through my head:

"they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence "

Hopefully thePaper has at least 27 eight-by-ten photographs with circles and arrows ... I am sure that impresses editors of prestigious journals and peer reviewers. Baffle them with BS ... surely no one will dig deeper.

"Squatch, we found your DNA on an envelope underneath a half-a-ton of garbage, and we just wanted to know if you had any information about that.."

"Yes ma'am, Melba, I cannot tell a lie... I put that envelope under that garbage."

 

[AttorneyTom]

You can get anything you want at Melba's Restaurant !!!! Exceptin.. well reasonable degree of scientific certainty and some other small thingys. Transparency, independency, known specimens for comparison, professionalism, a chain of custody of "samples", and a good cup of coffee... um.. etc..

 

[AlaskaBushPilot]

Counter to Ketchum's Bigfoot Protection Program?

I think some of the gun-happy conservatives got wind of Ketchum's Bigfoot Protection effort on her facebook page:

This could be controversial.

http://www.facebook.com/BigfootHuntingClub#!/BigfootHuntingClub#!/photo.php?fbid=263614140396361&set=a.263614133729695.61364.263613607063081&type=1&theater

 

[HarryHenderson]

I have no doubt it'll be 'controversial' (in a living in a fantasy world kind of way). Yet curiously, almost the dumbest thing Bleevers™ could do would be to protest. In theory these Facebook™ Buzz Killingtons aren't detractors at all, but in fact saviors, sent by the cosmos (where else could they have come from, huh huh?) to solidify Bleevers™ Bigfoot salvation by finally comin' up with a ******* dead ******* body mutha ******. Praise the lawd! BIGFOOT LIVES! Hallelujah!

We better see Melbastoast, Merlsdumb, Moneyjerker and all the other Little People of BF showing some *** **** MUTHA ******* RESPECT for these certified BUZZ KILLING MACHINE MUTHA *******. This is serious ******* **** folks. We're talkin REAL DEAD BIGFOOTS here, not marginal comedy. And we can't have any mutha ******* hatin' and jokin' going on on the sidelines while these certified BKMMFs are out there smokin dope and risking life, limb, STDs and who knows what sniffin out and snuffin out those mega breasted dumb ******* Bigfoot mutha *******. BIGFOOT LIVES! Hallelujah!

Here's a Martha Stewart® ProTip™ they can try as a simple party game right after the Kraft Cheese™ snacks and refreshments portion of the evening (right before the Vera Wang™ evening gown competition). Have a an impromptu who's-really-got-the-biggest-van-dyke contest by seeing who can bag the most Bigfoots using only 500 rounds or less of .22 LR. And first hunter to get torn into more than two pieces by an unamused BF ends the game. It could be fun. BIGFOOT LIVES! Hallelujah!

 

[AtomicMysteryMonster]

I like how Bigfoot is supposedly human and yet still retains its magical ability to sense cameras.

 

[calwaterbear]

Primers for BF DNA

Good afternoon everyone,
I am new here to this website, but have loosely followed Dr. Randi since I saw him on johnny Carson when I was a kid. His simple explanations and demonstrations showing yuri geller was full of feces etc is probably one of the triggers for my current carrer.
I am a biologist, who currently works in hunting down and discovering 8 legged animals with 4 - 10 huge claws on each leg. These guys lay in suspended animation for years, then come to life at a stimulus trigger and immediately go on feeding and breeding rampages. On top of all that they spread around the globe on wind currents.

Currently we know of about 1100 species of this monster, and I am actively discovering new species, with 2 being found and published this year, with several more to follow!

But thats not what I am here to talk about. lets say "theoretically" that i was presented with the chance to run DNA samples of bigfoot!
I do run DNA of my monsters - at least I prep the samples, then send em out for sequencing.
But if I am looking for bigfoot - i clearly need a set of primers - no? so we have human primers, and most of those work on chimps and gorillas, and we have the human and chimp and gorrilla genomes correct? so if that the case, and Bigfoot is postulated to be between apes and man, why wouldn't the same primers work on them?

I haven't spent alot of time looking into this , but i believe Ketchum? indicates that she had to design a whole new set of primers. Anyone know - or has she revealed her primers? I know we are still waiting for her earth shattering bigfoot DNA paper to see the light of day, but of course it is currently being suppresssed by the scientific establishment, as we do not want this information revealed!

(onlyread this part if you are a card carrying member of the scientists against the advancement of real science conspiracy group) I know that because at our last top secret scientist convention, we had 2 points of emphasis, 1. deny and block all global warming skeptics, and #2. block at all costs any release of actual bigfoot proof!
By the way if you have never attended one of those meetings - it's because you are not welcome, nor are you part of our giant conspiracy! to bad, your missing a great weeklong party!

But I digress - given the theoretical oportunity to check for bigfoot DNA - anyone have a good idea about what primers to use? I assume I will first see if in fact the sample actually contains any DNA, then run the sample along with human DNA, might as well throw in bear and cow DNA for comparitive controls?

I am not under any dillusions that I would find BF DNA, but i would not mind the scientific exercise of taking an unknown sample and running it through to completion, recognizing that if I did not find and positively identify BF DNA, i would of course be a horrible scientist - and of course part of the schkeptic shmeptic conspiracy!

calwaterbear!

 

[Marduk]

But I digress - given the theoretical oportunity to check for bigfoot DNA - anyone have a good idea about what primers to use?

I hear that Bigfoot is an extra terrestrial, maybe Lloyd Pye could help you out

 

[calwaterbear]

A born again Tard?

 

[Cuddles]

I am a biologist, who currently works in hunting down and discovering 8 legged animals with 4 - 10 huge claws on each leg. These guys lay in suspended animation for years, then come to life at a stimulus trigger and immediately go on feeding and breeding rampages. On top of all that they spread around the globe on wind currents.

Ah yes, the ever growing threat of dirigible octopuses.

 

[Beerina]

Presumably Bigfoot is a great ape, so would presumably have many of the similar genetic structures.

I don't know for sure, but scientists are probably getting pretty skilled at categorizing the life form of an unknown DNA sample.


So, a thought experiment. "Here's maybe-Bigfoot's DNA!" Scientist analyzes it, "No, it's animal X, already known to us."

 

[Tatyana]

I don't believe you are a biologist who is studying spiders.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primer_(molecular_biology)

 

[Fishstick]

Ah yes, the ever growing threat of dirigible octopuses.

AKA spiders

 

[The Shrike]

Tardigrades! Welcome to the JREF, calwaterbear. We've got a 145-page thread on Ketchum's impending paper at the Bigfoot Forums you should check out . . .

Here are two papers that did the same thing Ketchum is allegedly doing - look for a unique DNA signature in putative "bigfoot" DNA from hair samples. Their results are different but the methods should be similar, correct?

Milinkovitch et al. (2004) - Molecular Phylogenetics and Evolution
Coltman and Davis (2006) - TRENDS in Ecology and Evolution

 

[Jeff Corey]

Ah yes, the ever growing threat of dirigible octopuses.

S/he mite be an acarologist.

 

[catsmate]

Ah yes, the ever growing threat of dirigible octopuses.

Yes.................

 

[calwaterbear]

Bingo on the tardigrades, sorry guys, no spiders here.
anyway thanks for the direction, it will surely help out! methodology will be similar. If it were me, i would start with mitochondrial DNA - i think Ketchum says she has done it, but then of course denounces the report as incorrect, I can't keep it straight, first she files for copywrite of some sort of media presentation, with the genes she selected looking fairly sound - then she comes back and says that the whole think is incorrect - Sheesh!

And as been said before, scientific authors are not required to sign NDA's nor are the barred from discussing their findings. That whole excuse mill is getting out of control, i keep waiting to see what rabbit they pull out of their hat this time to defend not having results - their creativity and naievity astounds me!
well back to work!

Tardigrades! Welcome to the JREF, calwaterbear. We've got a 145-page thread on Ketchum's impending paper at the Bigfoot Forums you should check out . . .

Here are two papers that did the same thing Ketchum is allegedly doing - look for a unique DNA signature in putative "bigfoot" DNA from hair samples. Their results are different but the methods should be similar, correct?

Milinkovitch et al. (2004) - Molecular Phylogenetics and Evolution
Coltman and Davis (2006) - TRENDS in Ecology and Evolution

 

[DennyT]

Call the waahmbulance.

 

[TheJackal]

Wow, simply Wow ! You leak the story on national radio in 2010, set up a Facebook page, and are now asking people to let you be ? This really can't get any better, can it ?

 

[DennyT]

yeah, the commenters really nailed it. That place makes JREF look like a bunch of pantywaists.* Nobody mentioned the copyright documents, though.

*whatever those are....

 

[AlaskaBushPilot]

I am a biologist, who currently works in hunting down and discovering 8 legged animals with 4 - 10 huge claws on each leg. These guys lay in suspended animation for years, then come to life at a stimulus trigger and immediately go on feeding and breeding rampages. On top of all that they spread around the globe on wind currents.

Currently we know of about 1100 species of this monster, and I am actively discovering new species, with 2 being found and published this year, with several more to follow!

But thats not what I am here to talk about.

A hundred words on something you don't want to talk about, following the strategy of coy baiting (instead of just saying what it is) to talk even more about it.

Welcome to JREF. That background should be useful here. Maybe you can tell us how the primers come into play in this area.