Being transgender is hard

(I probably should have left my previous post in place. Oh well.)

Dessi said:
I'm saying I have small boobs.
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Hey, me too! I've been working on getting them smaller.

Code: 
-module(me). 
-compile(export_all).

juliet() =
    receive
        {awkward, PID} -> PID ! {self(), "boobages"}
        {_, PID} -> PID ! {self(), "definitely not awkward"}
    end,
    juliet();

start() =
    J = spawn(me, juliet, []),
    J ! {awkward, self()}.

%%% syntax errors left in tact for your amusement
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Sadly, I've yet to learn Python. I went straight from TI 99/4A Basic to C to C++.

But I get the gist.

I don't get hit on by t-chasers...
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This term interests me.

It's been my impression that the label "t-chaser" is deprecatory in the tg community. If so, why? Are straight men or lesbians "woman-chasers"? Why should someone being attracted to tg individuals in particular be looked down upon?

Or is it simply that the pushy/creepy/stalky/violent behaviour (referenced earlier in this thread, I believe) of a small subset of these individuals taints all of them?

Not trying to be especially argumentative, just curious.

(Just for fun, look up Andrej Pejic, wow!)
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Oddly enough, the images of that individual make me want to channel my Jewish mother and feed hir a hearty meal of my (vegan) red bean soup. "You need some meat on your bones, kid."

Although I've just now realized I'm a hypocrite on that score: One must generally be slender to pull off that look, and I've been trying to shed pounds for years to achieve the same result*. If I could manage it, I'd probably attempt that Andrej Pejic look. That means I seek to become that which I'm attracted to. No idea if there is a word for that. "Renormalized sexuality?" I think it's the same sort of feeling that drives many straight male cross-dressers (which I am not).

* Not Rubenesque, not RuPaul-esque, but Paul-Reubenesque!

I'm pretty sure there is a word for that preference, but I'm at work and not so inclined to look it up at the moment.
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I looked around a bit just now, but I couldn't find the term. This blog post sums up some of my feelings on the topic.

Aside from a close romantic friendship with another woman...
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Hey, just like Oscar claimed he had with Bosie! (Except he was lying. They totally got it on.)

Don't worry, you're not being creepy :)
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Excellent. A rare non-creepy day.
 
Surgical mutilation and the particular physical ramifications of particular pharmacological intoxications
do not change a person from male to female or female to male
and does not change their DNA.

A man who castrates himself and gorges on female hormones does not become a female.

Chastity Bono did not really become Mr. Chaz.


This is terribly sad.
 
JudeBrando said:
Surgical mutilation and the particular physical ramifications of particular pharmacological intoxications
do not change a person from male to female or female to male
and does not change their DNA.

A man who castrates himself and gorges on female hormones does not become a female.

Chastity Bono did not really become Mr. Chaz.


This is terribly sad.
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"Ladies and gentlemen.... MISTER Conway Twitty!"

 
JudeBrando said:
Surgical mutilation and the particular physical ramifications of particular pharmacological intoxications
do not change a person from male to female or female to male
and does not change their DNA.

A man who castrates himself and gorges on female hormones does not become a female.

Chastity Bono did not really become Mr. Chaz.


This is terribly sad.
Click to expand...

Uh oh, I smell war... :jedi:
 
JudeBrando said:
Surgical mutilation and the particular physical ramifications of particular pharmacological intoxications
do not change a person from male to female or female to male
and does not change their DNA.

A man who castrates himself and gorges on female hormones does not become a female.

Chastity Bono did not really become Mr. Chaz.


This is terribly sad.
Click to expand...

Said like someone who didn't bother to read the thread.
 
Vorticity said:
Sadly, I've yet to learn Python. I went straight from TI 99/4A Basic to C to C++.

But I get the gist.
Click to expand...
Erlang. Learn it. :)

This term interests me.

It's been my impression that the label "t-chaser" is deprecatory in the tg community. If so, why? Are straight men or lesbians "woman-chasers"? Why should someone being attracted to tg individuals in particular be looked down upon?

Or is it simply that the pushy/creepy/stalky/violent behaviour (referenced earlier in this thread, I believe) of a small subset of these individuals taints all of them?

Not trying to be especially argumentative, just curious.
Click to expand...
Its not just anyone attracted to tg women, but a specific class of fetishists. "Tranny chaser" is a pejorative, refers almost exclusively to fetishists have an interest in pre-op transsexuals (almost always tg women), they usually come on to women in a very sleazy way, solicit pictures from them, and have a particular fascination with their pre-operative genitals. More here.

(I don't think there's an equivalent for people who fetishize transmen, I don't even know that it occurs. Trans men almost always look unremarkably average, often attractive, I don't think any the butchiest of butch lesbians would have anything to do with them, let alone anything to fetishize. I'm sure they're out there, I've never seen them myself)

I knew someone a few years ago had GRS, but because she didn't pass well above the neck, she had unfortunately regular encounters with fetishists and pervs, one man even approached her in an airport asking if he could watch her pleasure herself.

So, if you're not a perv, I think you're fine by most people. Lots of women would love to find a caring, compassionate guy (or girl!). Actually one of my friends just got home from Thailand, she was accompanied by her bf, and they're the most adorablest nerdiest couple you've ever seen.

Although I've just now realized I'm a hypocrite on that score: One must generally be slender to pull off that look, and I've been trying to shed pounds for years to achieve the same result*. If I could manage it, I'd probably attempt that Andrej Pejic look. That means I seek to become that which I'm attracted to. No idea if there is a word for that. "Renormalized sexuality?" I think it's the same sort of feeling that drives many straight male cross-dressers (which I am not).

* Not Rubenesque, not RuPaul-esque, but Paul-Reubenesque!
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Not at all uncommon, there are people in the long hair community (people who like to grow super long hair) who have an inordinate almost paraphilic fondness for long hair as well.

Excellent. A rare non-creepy day.
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Don't say that, you still still the rest of the day left ;)
 
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I recall listening to an NPR program a long time ago on testosterone. They interviewed a transman, and when he first began testosterone treatment he was embarrassed by his new desire to ogle women (which his intellectual side viewed as objectifying them). Do other tgs find unexpected changes in their way of viewing the world, either positive or negative, in response to hormone therapy? Do people taking estrogens regret their lost willingness to start fights in bars? (I'm proposing a blatant stereotype to encourage discussion)
 
whatthebutlersaw said:
With education friends like that, tg people don't need enemies.

Thank crikey for Dessi keeping the straw out of the argument, because I was getting dangerously close to switching sides and joining Moral Majority. And I hear they are neither moral, nor a majority - so imagine how screwed I would have been!
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I'll add my voice to the general consensus that Dessi has been rational.
 
Giordano said:
I recall listening to an NPR program a long time ago on testosterone. They interviewed a transman, and when he first began testosterone treatment he was embarrassed by his new desire to ogle women (which his intellectual side viewed as objectifying them). Do other tgs find unexpected changes in their way of viewing the world, either positive or negative, in response to hormone therapy? Do people taking estrogens regret their lost willingness to start fights in bars? (I'm proposing a blatant stereotype to encourage discussion)
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I don't know a lot about t-guys experiences, except to say testosterone (or just "T") is a helluva drug.

T-girls usually have a much more subtle experience. There are two drugs involved:

  1. Anti-androgen. Here in the US, spironolactone is the preferred drug. It has a few different uses, like treating acne and potassium deficiency, but due to its anti-androgen effect, its suitable for tg women. There are a few noticeable side-effects with this drug:

    - it absolutely kills involuntary libido after about a month. Genetic males never notice how completely over-the-top insane their libido is until its gone. If you stop taking the drug, libido returns, it can feel like being turned up to 11 near constantly.

    - a lot of women report it is the single most effective acne medication they've ever used, it completely clears the face in way that no face wash could ever do.

    - lots of women experience extremely vivid dreams. And by that, I mean extremely detailed, you will feel each every dimple and scratch when you run your hand on a wall, feel fibers in carpet, see each and every needle on a pine tree, and the dreams can feel like they go on for hours. Initially the dreams have an extremely disturbing and violent quality, but they transition into something surreal and wonderful. Lucid dreams are achievable and wonderful in this state. Dreams are most intense when medication is taken an hour before bed.

  2. Estrogen in the form of estradiol tablets, transdermal patches, or injections. The effects of estradiol take a lot longer:

    - some t-girls, especially those younger than their 20s, develop a sense of super smell. They notice more smells and in much more detail than they did before. I believe this is temporary.

    - I know a few people who, in those first few months, cried at movies they would have never been affected by prior to HRT. This is also temporary.

    - Have you ever asked a guy, "what are you feeling right now?", and hear him respond "Nothin'"? 99 times out of 100, he's telling the absolute truth, he doesn't really feel anything. Prior to HRT, many t-girls have the exact same experience -- they don't particularly feel anything, or when they do, they can put those feelings in the background. After a few months of HRT, you don't feel particular different, but you rather feel all the time. When you're happy, you're happy all over; when you're aroused, you're deeply attuned to it; when you're upset, you can feel it in every step. Its jarring to think that, at one point in your past, you were practically a sociopath.

Now, regarding last point, its hard for me to know whether that emotional change is a chemical response, or if its a placebo resulting from the psychological comfort tg people have when they're validated in their particular gender. Probably both.

Almost everyone I've ever talked to sees the effects of hormones being overwhelmingly positive. Even if some of the effects aren't really desirable (acne on T, crazy ********** up dreams on spiro), there is a lot of psychological comfort in reaching a major milestone in your transition and being validated in your gender.

I don't think people's emotional lives change drastically from the outside. People tend to have the same personality before and after transition. Same sense of humor, same interests in hobbies, and so on, from the outside you wouldn't be able to perceive a change in personality (besides being happier and more confident than ever), even if a tg person's internal experiences are profound.
 
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Consider the following as simply annoying, if you like.

Dessi said:
I don't know a lot about t-guys experiences, except to say testosterone (or just "T") is a helluva drug.
Click to expand...

I like it.

- it absolutely kills involuntary libido after about a month. Genetic males never notice how completely over-the-top insane their libido is until its gone. If you stop taking the drug, libido returns, it can feel like being turned up to 11 near constantly.
Click to expand...

I like that too, at least since I figured out what to do with my libido, which took some time.

- a lot of women report it is the single most effective acne medication they've ever used, it completely clears the face in way that no face wash could ever do.
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That might be nice. I have rosacea, but the Mupuricin seems to help.

- lots of women experience extremely vivid dreams. And by that, I mean extremely detailed, you will feel each every dimple and scratch when you run your hand on a wall, feel fibers in carpet, see each and every needle on a pine tree, and the dreams can feel like they go on for hours.
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Got that and always have.

2) Estrogen in the form of estradiol tablets, transdermal patches, or injections. The effects of estradiol take a lot longer:
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Alan Turing got estrogen injections. He killed himself. There isn't definitive evidence that the one had to do with the other, but they made him get gynecomastia.

- some t-girls, especially those younger than their 20s, develop a sense of super smell. They notice more smells and in much more detail than they did before. I believe this is temporary.
Click to expand...

There seems to be evidence that women have better senses of smell.

- I know a few people who, in those first few months, cried at movies they would have never been affected by prior to HRT. This is also temporary.
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I have that, and I'm awash in enough testosterone to float a boat.

- Have you ever asked a guy, "what are you feeling right now?", and hear him respond "Nothin'"? 99 times out of 100, he's telling the absolute truth, he doesn't really feel anything.
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That I doubt. Most of the time, when I say that (I actually don't, because I have a hard time lying, but I change the subject) it's because it's really annoying and dangerous.

Now, regarding last point, its hard for me to know whether that emotional change is a chemical response, or if its a placebo resulting from the psychological comfort tg people have when they're validated in their particular gender. Probably both.
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Great comment.
 
Dessi,

Very interesting! When I (cis-man) first had children, I became much more tearful than before. Particularly anything involving children in danger or children being hurt. I couldn't listen to news about hurt children without crying. Certainly it came from the obvious link I could make to my own children, combined with my own instinctive need to protect them. But I recently read that having children is associated with a drop in testosterone- I wonder if I found my own emotional side through chemistry...
 
JudeBrando said:
Surgical mutilation and the particular physical ramifications of particular pharmacological intoxications
do not change a person from male to female or female to male
and does not change their DNA.

A man who castrates himself and gorges on female hormones does not become a female.

Chastity Bono did not really become Mr. Chaz.


This is terribly sad.
Click to expand...
Female hormones are "pharmacological intoxicants"?
 
Giordano said:
Dessi,

Very interesting! When I (cis-man) first had children, I became much more tearful than before. Particularly anything involving children in danger or children being hurt. I couldn't listen to news about hurt children without crying. Certainly it came from the obvious link I could make to my own children, combined with my own instinctive need to protect them. But I recently read that having children is associated with a drop in testosterone- I wonder if I found my own emotional side through chemistry...
Click to expand...

Nope. It's age that does it. I used to be a tough Army paratrooper. Now, I can't watch sappy beer commercials without risking a tear.
 
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