I'd like to be very clear about this...
words have meanings. As an American (well, at least I think you're American) , I would have thought that you would at least be cognisant of your history.
America's history of racism against Blacks is about the worst in the world bar perhaps South Africa. If you truly understood your own history, and what it means to call a Black person the n-word, it might take you closer to some understanding of why its use is so harmful, and why it is a lot more that just a mean or bad word.
These Black people were forcibly kidnapped from their homes - torn from their families and tribes, jammed into boats like sardines in a tin can, Many did not survive the voyage. Those that did were, along with their descendants, condemned to a lifetime of slavery, a lifetime of inhuman and inhumane treatment. White Americans indoctrinated them into accepting their supposed status as subhuman.
Calling someone the n-word is directed abuse that calls back the atrocities committed by Americans in the name of profit and white superiority. Its use is a continuation of the what is known as
internalized oppression, the psychological trauma caused when someone from an oppressed group of people believes the hateful things said about them.
Your Library of Congress contains a sort of oral history that was gathered by something called the
Federal Writers Project of the Works Progress Administration. This was a program that employed researchers from 1936 to 1938 to interview former enslaved people and to put in writing what their experiences were. The result was over 2,000 written narratives, and those narratives are available to read online.
https://www.loc.gov/collections/sla...s-project-1936-to-1938/about-this-collection/
If you want to truly understand where Blacks are coming from, and why they are so badly harmed when they get called the n-word; why they feel so terribly aggrieved and angered; why they cannot just brush it off like they've only been told they are an idiot or a dummy, then you should read some of those narratives. Many of them are harrowing, they do not make easy or comfortable reading, and you do not even have to be American to be impacted by that. They were uncomfortable for me because, as some forum members know, I have a slave trader in my ancestry. If you can truly put yourself in their positions, some of the narratives may bring tears to your eyes.
Hopefully, you will understand why these are not just words - they are a continual invocation of past atrocities, a direct, abusive reminder to every Black person who has to experience them, that the White Man still regards himself as superior over the Black Man, who in turn, is regarded as sub-human and fit for nothing other than being a slave.