August Stundie Nomination Thread Of Awesome

[kid meatball]

As a tech I see a similar occurance. A report of a device not functioning comes in but when the tech shows up or the device gets on the workbench, it functions perfectly. We call it tech-touch.

I've actually used the part number ID-10-T on a service order.

 

[Elizabeth I]

As a tech I see a similar occurance. A report of a device not functioning comes in but when the tech shows up or the device gets on the workbench, it functions perfectly. We call it tech-touch.

My son must be a homeopathic tech. I just talk to him on the phone about a problem I'm having and it fixes itself.

 

[Supermac]

I guess this makes me an idiot:

"If you think that noticing the number of people in the US has gone up from 40 years ago is proof that there is no depopulation agenda, then you are an idiot."

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=232574

 

[Travis]

so none of these brighteyes notice that a four sided pyramid is the easiest tall structure to construct (and not fall down) and,,,, happens to resemble the mountains that ancient peoples would be quite familiar with?

AAAHHHH truthcensorship!

 

[erwinl]

In an attempt to 'prove' that it's the women's fault that they earn less then men for the same job, we see this gem (highlighted).

Women paid less than men? Sure. 'They' feminized whole industries and sectors of the economy to drive down salaries e.g. teaching, accountancy.

They are even paying men less than men these days... I've lost count of the number of graduates I now meet earning 10k a year or worse. No wonder so many of them live multiple occupancy or with mum and dad.

Still, as long as the fat Etonian/Oxbridge types are coining it from their fraud, gambling, and theft...

Great Shitain.

(I'm happy, honest!)

Link
But at least he's happy, so that should count for something.

 

[LordXenu]

Don't listen to the radio or watch TV because demons may be able to transmit themselves via TV and radio into possessing you:
http://traditionalchristianity.wordpress.com/2013/08/03/an-epidemic-of-evil/#comment-73302

We know, for instance, that blessings can be transmitted long-distance through TV and radio. Can demons be transmitted in the same fashion? Is a certain amount of exposure necessary, or can one incident be enough?

 

[LaurelHS]

It's especially hazardous to watch TV when you're wearing thrift-store clothing. Demons everywhere!

 

[Shrike]

It's especially hazardous to watch TV when you're wearing thrift-store clothing. Demons everywhere!

I wear your granddad's demons,
I look incredible...

 

[Safe-Keeper]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6dk0MCOur8
"If the government was using radio signals from satellites to control peoples' minds, even amateur radio operators would pick up the signal!"
No, they wouldn't:

There is no technology on hand, they are century ahead of what is currently considered cutting edge technology. So there is no way to investigate. If you are a target then you will stay that way and there is nothing you can do. Sorry.

"Frequenzies? We don't do frequenzies!"

 

[Safe-Keeper]

Wonder what would happen if a CT-er ended up in a major disaster of some kind? I suppose he would be branded a sell-out/shill for spreading lies, if the CTers didn't just claim that the whole accident was staged to kill that one CTer.

 

[Wolfman]

Wonder what would happen if a CT-er ended up in a major disaster of some kind? I suppose he would be branded a sell-out/shill for spreading lies, if the CTers didn't just claim that the whole accident was staged to kill that one CTer.

Bah, that's easy.

Option One -- He wasn't killed, he's part of the plot, he was a CIA plant who pretended to be part of the CT community, simply so that he could be "killed" and make it appear like yet another government-created "disaster" was real. We have people who've spotted someone who looks suspiciously like him working on a farm in Kansas. When they approached him called him by name, he acted confused and pretended he was someone else...but that's what you'd expect him to do, isn't it?

Option Two -- The overall disaster was a government-staged scam, and most of the people who "died" were just NWO agents who were subsequently assigned new lives. But our man was getting too close to the truth, so they used this incident to actually kill him. This is incontrovertible proof that the government is afraid of us, and that we are getting too close to the truth!


ETA: Then, of course, CTers would split into two separate factions supporting each theory, with the latter accusing the former of being either mindless sheeple, or of also being NWO agents.

 

[Bishop]

Is it a bit too mean-spirited to nominate a post like this for a Stundie? The author obviously has good intentions:

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1061657127&postcount=5

I don't think topping yourself will do you any good to your family or to your karma. Take it from a person who has done it.

It is a pretty funny quote, though.

 

[Spindrift]

I guess this makes me an idiot:

"If you think that noticing the number of people in the US has gone up from 40 years ago is proof that there is no depopulation agenda, then you are an idiot."

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=232574

I like this one.

G-Man X: "Let's create a depopulation agenda!"
G-Man Y: "Great idea, how shall we cover it up so it's secret."
G-Man X: "Let's increase the population. No one would ever be smart enough to figure out that by letting the population increase we're actually secretly depopulating the country!"
G-Man Y: "That's genius!"
G-Man X: "You think that's great, wait til you see what we built into the World Trade Center. As long as no one collects any dust 7 or 8 years later, it's foolproof."
G-Man Y: "Do we get to finally use our solid holograph projector?"

 

[Border Reiver]

I like this one.

G-Man X: "Let's create a depopulation agenda!"
G-Man Y: "Great idea, how shall we cover it up so it's secret."
G-Man X: "Let's increase the population. No one would ever be smart enough to figure out that by letting the population increase we're actually secretly depopulating the country!"
G-Man Y: "That's genius!"
G-Man X: "You think that's great, wait til you see what we built into the World Trade Center. As long as no one collects any dust 7 or 8 years later, it's foolproof."
G-Man Y: "Do we get to finally use our solid holograph projector?"

It gets better later: "Yep. All these politicians on TV arguing and fear-mongering about immigration - they actually want immigration because it dilutes unity which makes it harder and harder for the true free thinking individualists left in this country to get the ******** out of power. They want to get as many people dependent on the govt as they can so that they far outnumber individualists who believe in liberty and self determination."

So, by decreasing unity, it makes it harder for individuals to act.

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1061653374&postcount=41

Edited by LashL: 

Edited to properly mask profanity. Please see Rule 10 re: the auto-censor.

 

[Horatius]

I like this one.

G-Man X: "Let's create a depopulation agenda!"
G-Man Y: "Great idea, how shall we cover it up so it's secret."
G-Man X: "Let's increase the population. No one would ever be smart enough to figure out that by letting the population increase we're actually secretly depopulating the country!"
G-Man Y: "That's genius!"

It's gotten to the point that, no matter what stupidity they come up with, I already have an old comic that covers it!

 

[Jim_MDP]

Bah, that's easy.

Option One -- He wasn't killed, he's part of the plot, he was a CIA plant who pretended to be part of the CT community, simply so that he could be "killed" and make it appear like yet another government-created "disaster" was real. We have people who've spotted someone who looks suspiciously like him working on a farm in Kansas. When they approached him called him by name, he acted confused and pretended he was someone else...but that's what you'd expect him to do, isn't it?

Option Two -- The overall disaster was a government-staged scam, and most of the people who "died" were just NWO agents who were subsequently assigned new lives. But our man was getting too close to the truth, so they used this incident to actually kill him. This is incontrovertible proof that the government is afraid of us, and that we are getting too close to the truth!


ETA: Then, of course, CTers would split into two separate factions supporting each theory, with the latter accusing the former of being either mindless sheeple, or of also being NWO agents.

I read it a bit differently...

Regular CTer at Clueless/DIF actually gets caught in a real Mall or Streetside terror bomb, loses a leg maybe and spends a couple weeks in hospital. Gets back on CT forum and finds his heroic compatriots have spent the time proving it was a hoax, the pics are all shopped and it was all "vicsims".

Hilarity ensues?

 

[Safe-Keeper]

Crowning moment of awesome.

 

[JamesB]

Oops, double post.

 

[JamesB]

Homeopathy is Magic. Readers of a homeopathy blog are asked to share their experiences of the magical healing properties of homeopathy:

"The only amazing experience I have had may be a little too wacky for your blog, Steve, but here-goes anyway! I had a wasp sting on one one the fingers of my left had while gardening, went indoors and opened a bottle of Apis which I was holding in the same hand. Before removing a pill the pain vanished and I don't think I bothered to take it. It wasn't even a bee sting! Presumably the energy of the remedy was close enough to my sting for it to work. (Teresa)"

http://safe-medicine.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/wonderful-moments-in-homeopathy.html

Do you believe in the placebo effect?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0jxV_y_Nv4

 

[dudalb]

Honorable mention, at least for Actors Johnny Depp and Arnie Hammer,and Producer Jerry Bruckheimer, who, at a news conference yesterday, accused critics of being in a conspiracy that caused their megabomb film "The Lone Ranger" to flop miserably at the box office.