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Attention, NWO

Darn. Looks like Arth's script is broke again. I'm glad I moved out of the programming division - so many failures in the public eye.
 
ElMondoHummus said:
Re: Requisition denial.



This is unacceptible for the following reasons:
  1. Orbital German Shepards were delivered into orbit sans Orbitial German Shepard spacesuits. Thus, their effectiveness has been reduced to zero BECAUSE THEY ARE NOW DEAD!!! As a side note, please recall that most lackeys and many henchmen need exact instructions; leaving room for interpretation most often results in DISASTERS LIKE THIS!!!
  2. Potential for Super Hero intrusion is determined to be likely. Hence, the following analysis needs to be taken into account:
    • Super Hero is engaged by Orbital Laser. Result: Dead Super Hero.
    • Super Hero is engaged by Orbital German Shepards. Result: Dead German Shepards. Or worse yet, turned to the "other side" due to judicious use of the product "Milk Bones", thus effectively aiding the Super Hero.
    ... therefore the effectiveness of Orbital German Shepards, however fierce, rapidly approaches zero since the biggest threat remains unaccounted for.
  3. Response time of Orbital German Shepards must be taken into effect. Accelerating 6 hounds to the speed of light (c) also zeros their effectiveness since E=mc2 dictates that they become energy at that point. Acceleration of same to .x(c) also has adverse effects due to time dilation not working in our favor. Furthermore, low velocities that do not invoke observable relativistic effects still result in Orbital German Shepards combusting upon reentry. Thus, reentry by itself reduces platform's effectiveness to zero, and once again does so BECAUSE THEY WOULD BE DEAD!!!
  4. The "Cool Factor" in having dogs in space was already claimed by the ex Soviet Union through their launch of the dog Laika into orbit. Because we would be unoriginal in addition to being ineffective, our reputation would suffer accordingly. And how would the NWO accomplish anything with a damaged reputation?
It is of utter importance that secret facility be secured with superweapon so as to avoid resorting to Doomsday devices. No, sorry, orbital dogs do not count as a "superweapon" (Maybe a "Super FUBAR" would be closer to the mark). Should a superhero penetrate the facility's so-called "defenses" (a.k.a. frozen dog carcasses in space), then the truly last resort would be a world destroying superweapon, and that would leave us in dire straits as well, due to the continued delays in establishing the extrasolar space station and colonies.
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Psst...

Hey, I know a guy who knows a guy. Got it second hand from the Japanese after the Godzilla build up. Meet me behind the nano-storage warehouse on the docks at midnight.

Bring eggs.
 
JAStewart said:
I love filling out NWO application forms.

"Describe yourself in 911 words".
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Using the blood of innocents i hope. I got a grilling from the reptillians last week for adding biro pens to the budget.
 
All transmissions in this thread were posted using Bilderberg Code 13-D, which was inadvertently cracked by Milton Friedlebarn of Hammer's Thump, Wisconsin, USA on September 28, 2009. Although Mr. Friedlebarn was dealt with the usual way, we must now presume that BC-13-D has been compromised. Please temporarily use FnordText 4.5 Beta until the Codes, Languages, and Television Channels Department can sort out the mess.

All previous posts, in accordance with Processes & Procedures 3.121.02.A, have been re-encoded using contextual substitution cypher Romeo-Munchhausen. Refer to codebook 99-A and 99-G for decoding instructions.

This post is false.

Terror blood rip shred pain murder lawyer Barney sublimation of flesh Bill Murray
 
Who's been microwaving the Rhesus monkeys in the break room?

Sweet Randolph Scott, that's three times this month!
 
ElMondoHummus said:
Please humanely slaughter them first. I'm getting sick of hearing them scream while the nuker's fan is going. It's very distracting.
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I tried that, but got written up under Section 423/4: Ritualist Slaughter Of Primates On Premises. And my machette's keep getting confisgated by security.
 
Sorry Rogue, I pushed for the implementation of thata rule afater that newbie nearly chopped his arm off in the villey ball court.
 
Rogue1stclass said:
I tried that, but got written up under Section 423/4: Ritualist Slaughter Of Primates On Premises. And my machette's keep getting confisgated by security.
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Well, then... stick 'em in the freezer... drown 'em in the sink... make them watch the Harrassment and You: Inappropriate Workplace Behavior video... do something.
 
Certainly. Is there anything else I can do for you? You sound...

You sound...

You soooooouuuuunnnnnnnnndddddddddddd... *crunch*AAAAAHHhhh, that's better.

Sorry about that, Mistress. Who do you want me to kill today?
 
I keep getting these applications across my desk from people filing CASC-001 ("Citizen Access to Stock Certificates") forms. Of course, once we determine all the boxes are filled in correctly and the "I"s are dotted and "T"s are crossed, we are bound by NGSO 15.22.3(a)(i) to give them the stock we hold in their name.

These things are costing us money! If we get many more of these we'll have to go to the Vatican and ask them to increase the Special Appropriation on the followers to continue operations.

Is the special ops department going to do anything about the YouTubers who are letting the general public know about the CASC form? I'd prefer something permanent, but can't we get the juniors over at Legal to at the very least file DMCA takedown notices?
 
Read the fine print - they can't make the claim unless they use their name in all capital letters, but since their name in all capital letters only refers to the account we have and not them as natural persons, they can't file, since we only accept claims filed as stated on the original form.
 
LissaLysikan said:
Read the fine print - they can't make the claim unless they use their name in all capital letters, but since their name in all capital letters only refers to the account we have and not them as natural persons, they can't file, since we only accept claims filed as stated on the original form.
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Indeed. It's shocking to me that Blue Mountain has actually managed to avoid throwing out all of the applications, much less enough to cause a problem.

Methinks it's time for an "audit" of his books.
 
Oh crap! You mean to say I granted half a dozen CASCs to people who didn't write their names in ALL CAPITALS? I could get into trouble for that.

... good thing I sent out the letters over JoeyDonut's signature!
 
We're going to have to CASREP the copier. Again.

I may have ah...sort of...eaten all the toner.
 
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