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Atheism and kids

Denise

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I am an atheist as in I don't believe there is enough evidence to prove a diety although I don't deny one could exist outside my scope of knowledge.

My daughter is now ten. She claims to be an atheist also, but she really hasn't given it as much thought to where I think she is making a rational decision. Not that she is unable to... I am worried that she is just parroting what I believe and that is so not groovy.

She has not been raised in any religion, although some of her extended family members are religious namely her great grandmother.

I want her to arrive at a decision herself without feeling that I am forcing my opinion upon her, but I also do not want her to go to a religious institution to learn religion because I am afraid of indoctrination. I'm talking about the peer pressure etc.

So how do I help her to arrive at her own opinion? I don't again want a child that just repeats what her parent thinks. I want to encourage her to think.

Any suggestions? Thanks!
 
Most children will tend to emulate their parents as much as they can. Almost all kids will tend to be the same religion as their mommy and daddy.

There is nothing wrong with it. At 10, your daughter probably doesnt realize exactly how large a role religion plays in life. It doesnt matter if she hasnt reasoned why she's one religion and not another (actually, a pretty fair amount of adults dont know why they are one religion and not another either).

So your daughter is only 10 and she already considers herself an atheist, well make sure you let her know that some of the other kids might believe in god. Some kids can become fiercely defensive (and on occasion abusive) toward other kids because they dont worship god... or believe in Santa, how many people remember the kids who were convinced saying you dont believe in ol' Saint Nick would cause you to lose one more present come Christmas.

As most kids grow up, their religion starts to become a part of their personality. And, as kids grow up, they start to discover just a little more. Dont worry about encouraging your daughter to think critically about faith and religion just yet, religion is simply too overwhelming to rationalize and analyze at that age. Eventually she'll rationalize why she is an atheist.

Odds are, your daughter will probably remain an atheist her entire life.
 
Hey, I´m 16 and an atheist the same.
I think 10 is a bit young. I remember that I started really doing the reasoning thing at about 12-13, although I was kind of interested before that.
Wait it out, and then (when she starts asking good questions) explain to her why you believe what you do and invite her to ask whatever she wants. But of course explain she can choose any religion she likes (except being Almish or a scientologist). She will probably choose atheism.
Good idea to explain that not everyone is going to agree with her and she might not want to go shouting her atheisism from the rooftops until shes ready for the effects.
Just my 2 cents.
 
Ten seems a bit young for you to be worrying about your daughter's apparent lack of considered views.

It is usually teenagers that start questioning their parents beliefs (or lack of). There is also the possibility that she may be subject to some pressure from religious groups either at school or from friends over the next few years. I'm sure you won't regret bringing her up with a grounding in critical thinking, as that will be the time to encourage her to start thinking for herself.

I'm sure she'll consider herself very fortunate to have a mother willing to discuss these things intelligently and openly. :)

STJ.
 
In 6 years, if your daughter comes home one day, dressed all in black, with a black hooded sweatshirt, doesnt talk much, and wearing a pentagram necklace, and talks about pixies, dont worry, she'll normal off in about 17 years and frequent skeptic forums calling herself Yahweh--er perhaps something a little less masculine sounding...
 
Denise
I want her to arrive at a decision herself without feeling that I am forcing my opinion upon her, but I also do not want her to go to a religious institution to learn religion because I am afraid of indoctrination. I'm talking about the peer pressure etc.

So how do I help her to arrive at her own opinion? I don't again want a child that just repeats what her parent thinks. I want to encourage her to think.

Any suggestions? Thanks!
Click to expand...
Perhaps this isn't the best topic to start on.

Pick a topic where she doesn't know your opinion, or one where you disagree already. (There must be one!!)

Or, perhaps better, ask her to argue for something that she's against. Even for something that is obviously wrong.

That might teach her to be a troll, but it's important to be able to see the other side of an argument. There must be a troll-free middle ground. Read my sig.


(And I don't think that 10 is too young, I was argumentative at that age - and earlier)
 
GoodPropaganda said:
Pick a topic where she doesn't know your opinion, or one where you disagree already. (There must be one!!)
Click to expand...
"Clean your room."
"Eat all your dinner or no dessert."
"Sign the souls of your friends over to me."
"Go to bed."
"We're not buying another [insert item here]"
 
Myself I try never to put down religion per say, but I try to help my kids see a point of view that involves logic and science. I know my share of Bible “trivia” so most of those questions I can answer, and I tend to direct the conversation past the cute Sunday school stories to the hatful meat of the bible.
For instance I might point out that although Jesus is said to have healed a few people he is clamed to have said it is right to murder “witches”, a small phrase that has cause countless acts of torture and death (Jesus loves me this I know) .
 
If the parents are atheists (like myself) then I feel they should break it to their kids that there is no god the same day the break it to them there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.
 
Here's a concrete idea for developing critical thinking:

Read newspaper reports together, and discuss them. Decide on:
- - The source of the story. Is it an eyewitness report? A second-hand, he-said she-said report?
- - Which parts are presented as facts, and which parts are conclusions/opinions arrived at by the jounalist?
- - What pieces of information can we confirm/refute ourselves?
- - When politicians, etc are being asked questions, ask whether or not the question has been answered.
I'm sure other important points can be raised.

You can look for logical falacies in TV debate programs (they have debates in newspapers also, sometimes)

And, of course, you can discuss debate itself!!
Ask your daughter what she thinks makes a good argument? I'd be interested to find out.
 
crocodile deathroll said:
If the parents are atheists (like myself) then I feel they should break it to their kids that there is no god the same day the break it to them there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.
Click to expand...
Oh, and I supposed the Great Pumpkin isnt real either :rolleyes:.


:D :D :D
 
Denise said:
So how do I help her to arrive at her own opinion? I don't again want a child that just repeats what her parent thinks. I want to encourage her to think.

Any suggestions? Thanks!
Click to expand...

She will arrive at her own perceptions and opinions as all people do. How she will arrive at those things and when is impossible to precisely determine and orchestrate.
I know no one on this board except what I glean from their posts but you appear to possess a liberal mindset in regard to other's opinions while retaining your own.
If your daughter has inherited that ability from you she'll be OK.
It's enigmatic how 'believing' parents may have to accept that their offspring have grown to atheism and vice versa.
Parenting remains one of the world's most difficult occupations.
Maybe the two of you could spend time together on the myriads of bulletin boards out in cyber space and she can see for herself the differences and similarities that exist between 'hard' believers and 'soft' believers as well as 'hard' atheists' and 'soft' atheists.
 
This is my take on it.

Telling your child there is no God is not forcing your opinion on them, it is telling them a simple fact. Like telling them the earth is not flat.

Some sadly deluded folks believe that there is a God. Others believe that the earth is flat. They are both wrong, though, and you are not depriving your child of a choice by telling them the facts of the matter.
 
It's interesting how Richard Dawkins has been talking recently about how children are labeled. Children of Catholic parents are 'Catholic Children', of Muslim parents - 'Muslim Children' etc etc.

It is good I feel, that children of atheist parents are allowed to develop in their own time into whatever they want to be. No one is labeled an 'Atheist' unless they have arrived at that position themselves. No one refers to them as 'Atheist Children' just because their parents are. Or am I wrong?
 
Just be glad she doesn't believe in the BS that religions teach.

Now, work on her reasoning abilities and teach her critical thinking skills. Then, hopefully, she'll not believe in gods because there is no evidence of them. Teach her science and biology.. evolution and math.

I wouldn't worry that she's just emulating you, that's what kids do. Teach her the other skills so that she will become a young lady that will make her own decisions and you'll be fine.
 
Another vote for "don't worry about it." She's only 10, she doesn't need reasons for all her views yet.
 
GoodPropaganda said:
Denise

Perhaps this isn't the best topic to start on.

Pick a topic where she doesn't know your opinion, or one where you disagree already. (There must be one!!)

Or, perhaps better, ask her to argue for something that she's against. Even for something that is obviously wrong.

That might teach her to be a troll, but it's important to be able to see the other side of an argument. There must be a troll-free middle ground. Read my sig.


(And I don't think that 10 is too young, I was argumentative at that age - and earlier)
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Actually, we argue about things quite a lot. It's almost a cornerstone of our relationship- must be a mother and daughter thing. She just convinced me to let her use her own money to buy another bike. She wrote a one page letter telling me how much better this bike would be than the old one and it was quite a good opinion paper for a ten year old.
 
The most important thing is not the rationalization, but whether she is respected and gets the proper amount of attention and support.

My father was an athiest, so I decided I was one too when I was about 9 or so. But my parents didn't do things with kids, they were still partying like it was college. I was ripe for the picking from fundamentalists pretending like they would act as a surrogate family, call me "brother" and spend time with me. Of course, like most fundamentalists, as soon as you settle into a pattern they are gone unless you can entertain them or validate their beliefs and fit into the narrow model of their lifestyle.

As most fathers, I decided I would avoid the mistakes of my parents. Most of my time is spent paying attention to my daughters, doing what they want to do and supporting them in what they are interested in. I take their topics and do research on them. In a few hours, I'll be watching their fashion show, (they made the clothes), at the county fair. You have to learn to be patient and willing to humble your own needs for things that may seem childish.
 
Denise said:
I am an atheist as in I don't believe there is enough evidence to prove a diety although I don't deny one could exist outside my scope of knowledge.

My daughter is now ten. She claims to be an atheist also, but she really hasn't given it as much thought to where I think she is making a rational decision. Not that she is unable to... I am worried that she is just parroting what I believe and that is so not groovy.

She has not been raised in any religion, although some of her extended family members are religious namely her great grandmother.

I want her to arrive at a decision herself without feeling that I am forcing my opinion upon her, but I also do not want her to go to a religious institution to learn religion because I am afraid of indoctrination. I'm talking about the peer pressure etc.

So how do I help her to arrive at her own opinion? I don't again want a child that just repeats what her parent thinks. I want to encourage her to think.

Any suggestions? Thanks!
Click to expand...

I have wrestled with the same questions myself. I have come to the conclusion that children are going to pick up some values and ideas from their parents and it is both inevitable and there is nothing wrong with it. As for myself I just do my best to teach my kids to think for themselves and hope for the best. I think that's all any parent can do.

One suggestion though, sometimes when one of my kids is fervently expressing an opinion, I'll take a devil's advocate position, even if I agree 100% with what they are saying, just to try to make them think through both sides. It drives them nuts, especially the 13 year old who holds very, very strong opinions on many things, but I like to think that the message gets through. I hope so anyway.
 
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