Adopted Boy Sent Back To Russia

[Aepervius]

If you are lied to, conned and swindled into adopting a known seriously psychotic child, and you are not prepared for such a child,

Be honest here please. If the kid was NOT adopted, but his real biological mother would just have given up to an orphanage in the same circumstance, because the kid turn to be a bit psychotic , would you cite being "unprepared" as an excuse ?

No I betcha you would not.

And really a shame on the mother/grandmother to NOT have tried psychotherapy, what I betcha they would have done if it was their BIOLOGICAL girl which turned out a bit "mental".

Also, it smells strongly to me that the GM is exaggerating her side of the story a bit to get ride of a child which may not be as angelic as she expected (but still normal).

 

[slingblade]

I can agree there are many things about this story we don't know.

And I can agree that the family a/o its individual members weren't prepared, or capable, of handling the situation.

I can't agree that sending the child back to his orphanage was the right way to handle it, as I know there are plenty of agencies available to help the entire family, including the child, in a number of ways.

No, I don't know that any of these agencies were ever tried by the family. That's part of the missing information. But in the event that help was sought, and was unsuccessful, the child could have been removed from the home by one of those agencies. Whether that's a good outcome or way to manage it, I cannot say. That pesky lack of information again.

But given the limited information I have with which to form an opinion, mine is that shipping the kid back to Russia likely wasn't a good way to deal with it.

 

[Checkmite]

People are just accepting this based on what? A single note written by a person who we know very little about except that she has poor judgment?

Even if the entire note were pure confabulation, it's obvious that someone who dislikes a child so much that she'd make up a reason to put him on a plane to Russia is not the person that child needs to be living with and receiving care from under any circumstances. A once-a-week therapy session with a shrink would not have somehow magically made the woman a safe parent or provided the sort of environment a child would need to thrive.

 

[chillzero]

Even if the entire note were pure confabulation, it's obvious that someone who dislikes a child so much that she'd make up a reason to put him on a plane to Russia is not the person that child needs to be living with and receiving care from under any circumstances.

Which seems a perfectly valid reason for Russia to reconsider the ability of such people to take children from their country and return them at will.

 

[iknownothing]

Again, there are ways to give up a child when an adoption doesn't work out, other than put him on a plane back where he came from.

Which seems a perfectly valid reason for Russia to reconsider the ability of such people to take children from their country and return them at will.

And the reliability of whatever screening process the adoption agency in question used, at the very least.

I should let this rest. I'll just say, I don't see the mother/grandmother's actions to be defensible in any way, and quite possibly the more we learn the worse they'll look.

 

[chillzero]

I agree with you.

 

[Skeptic Ginger]

... the manner in which she got rid of him.

Vs "the manner in which she dealt with the problem."


Just saying....

 

[Skeptic Ginger]

Agreed.
A major question arises, now, of howinhell she was approved to adopt in the first place!

Or, "was the agency motivated to dump the kid anywhere they could? "

Just saying....

 

[Skeptic Ginger]

The legal system.....

So if it turns out she didn't violate any laws here, then the mother/grandmother weren't bad people after all.

 

[Skeptic Ginger]

Be honest here please. If the kid was NOT adopted, but his real biological mother would just have given up to an orphanage in the same circumstance, because the kid turn to be a bit psychotic , would you cite being "unprepared" as an excuse ?

I wouldn't fault a parent for relinquishing a child they were unable to safely care for. And it happens all the time.

 

[kerikiwi]

I wouldn't fault a parent for relinquishing a child they were unable to safely care for. And it happens all the time.

Relinquishing, or abandoning by putting on a plane and sending unannounced back to Russia? That happens all the time?

'Dealt with the problem' sounds so much better than 'got rid of' , doesn't it?
In this case, no amount of weaseling makes 'got rid of' the less appropriate description, or 'relinquishing' more apt than 'abandoning'.

 

[Bill Thompson]

My feeling is that no punishment can be harsh enough for these "parents".

 

[Bill Thompson]

I wouldn't fault a parent for relinquishing a child they were unable to safely care for. And it happens all the time.

each case should be taken individually.
A kid threatening to burn down the house is not a good reason to abandon your kid.

The good news is that you reap what you sow. One day, these adults will know an abandonment far greater than the one they have dished out.

 

[Checkmite]

Which seems a perfectly valid reason for Russia to reconsider the ability of such people to take children from their country and return them at will.

I would tend to agree; however, jaded as I am, I'm thinking Russia will relent, perhaps passing some unenforceable (or just unenforced) regulations to make it look like they suddenly care before going right back to making money off their kidfarms.

 

[Schrodinger's Cat]

It got me wondering how Russia could allow foreign adoption anyways. Aren't adoptions from 'poorer' countries to 'richer' ones? I never hear about someone adopting a child from France or Britain, has anyone ever adopted a child from the US?

Not sure if this has been answered or not (haven't read every post) but children actually are adopted from the united states. Non white children are sometimes adopted out to other countries like Canada and Western Europe where race is less of an issue and people are more comfortable with having children of a different race. In America, minority children, especially black, are harder to place than white children. But even so, it doesn't happen very often. I don't know if white babies ever get adopted out.

 

[Skeptic Ginger]

Not sure if this has been answered or not (haven't read every post) but children actually are adopted from the united states. Non white children are sometimes adopted out to other countries like Canada and Western Europe where race is less of an issue and people are more comfortable with having children of a different race. In America, minority children, especially black, are harder to place than white children. But even so, it doesn't happen very often. I don't know if white babies ever get adopted out.

I couldn't find any source for this. Did you have one?

 

[Arisia]

If she's legally this boy's mother, I'm betting Russia is going to start billing her for taking care of him for her. Of course, since no one in the county she lives in can seem to find her, the bills will probably be undelivered and therefore unpaid. My thought on what charge she could face: child abandonment, in the county where the airport is located, if nowhere else.

 

[Checkmite]

Even if the bills are delivered, they will likely be unpaid. Russia has no legal ability to enforce debts in the US.

 

[Schrodinger's Cat]

I couldn't find any source for this. Did you have one?

yep

http://www.csmonitor.com/2004/1027/p11s01-lifp.html

I had heard about this while living in Europe after meeting a couple who had adopted a black American child, but I found the above article.

 

[ZirconBlue]

Vs "the manner in which she dealt with the problem."


Just saying....

I'm not sure what it is you're "just saying". I was responding to Checkmite, who seem's pretty convinced that this woman should not continue to be this child's mother. So, "getting rid of him" in one way or another is pretty much the only manner to deal with the problem.

I don't believe that getting rid of the child is the only option in dealing with such a situation, but, in hindsight, in the knowledge of how she actually did deal with the problem, I'm taking it as a given that those other options are off the table.