• Quick note - the problem with Youtube videos not embedding on the forum appears to have been fixed, thanks to ZiprHead. If you do still see problems let me know.

Abortion: My personal experience

foxholeatheist

Graduate Poster
Joined
May 7, 2009
Messages
1,155
I have been married to my wife for about 5 years now. I am a US Army soldier and will be for at least a few more years. My wife has stood by me for 2 deployments, several training exercises a year and an ill-fated stab at SF qualification. We do not have children. We talked it out rationally and objectively years ago and decided that if my wife became pregnant our financial situation was not congruent to raising a child.

A few weeks ago I came home from work and my wife was standing in the kitchen. I could tell immediately that something was not right in her demeanor. Instinctively I made a mental note that I saw both of our dogs when I pulled up the drive so I knew that couldn't be it. Her eyes were filled with tears as she came toward me. She threw her arms around me and started to cry and said that she thought she might be pregnant.

We sat down in the kitchen and I said 'We've talked about this before, and whatever you decide is what we are going to do.' She said that she had a great conflict inside between what her emotional feelings and her rational feelings were. She said it would be best to end the pregnancy.

That night we went out and purchased two home pregnancy tests, both of which confirmed her suspicions. She was indeed pregnant.

I am stationed on a small base in the middle of nowhere Missouri. I called our local Planned Parenthood clinic (by local I mean 40 miles away) and was told that they do not offer abortion services. I called my commander and asked for a 4 day pass I had been promised and it was granted. I did not tell him why fearing that his well known political beliefs might somehow hinder my pass.

Oh, and this was on our 5th anniversary.

We drove 2 hours away to Colombia only to be told that they also do not offer abortion services. We were told there was a clinic in Kansas City MO and another in St. Louis that did, both of which almost 2 hours away. I called the St. Louis clinic, being marginally closer, and made an appointment.

We made the drive and we hardly spoke the entire way. I can't say for sure what was going through her mind though I can only imagine. This was not an easy decision for either of us and contrary to much pro-life propaganda it was not fun nor was it done solely for convenience.

We arrived at the clinic which was a protected building. The entrance was manned by armed guards and a metal detector requiring me to make another trip to the truck to drop off my daily carry arm. I did not expect this level of security at a health care facility. We checked in and waited several hours.

The waiting room was horrible. Everyone there was desperate and in an unenviable situation. Young women with their parents and poor couples populated the waiting room. No one was having fun. On top of that, ****** pop music was piped in.

After several hours of waiting we were called into a small office and spoke to a counselor. She informed us that according to Missouri state law an ultrasound was required and a 24 hour waiting period before the actual abortion was performed. I supposed this is some feature to prevent rash decisions on the fate of the unborn. For me, it was a massive inconvenience and another unforeseen hurdle. Fortunately, I could afford the cost of the drive and the time off. However, many cannot. I cannot imagine being a young person with no means trying to do this.

We had the ultrasound performed. My wife chose not to see. However, being a medic and being curious I did. Being only 5 weeks old I could hardly make out the little shape in all the background noise. Along the uterine wall was a little oval about 4mm across according to the etched scale on the screen. We had another speechless drive home.

Being in the Military my wife has some of the best medical insurance coverage around however, abortion was not covered. Interesting, my request for a vasectomy was turned down because I did not have children. I had to pay the 500$ fee out of pocket which I could afford. However, my mind was on those who could not. None of this was made clear to us prior.

24 hours later we were back in that depressing waiting room. We were seen rather quickly by a doctor and my wife was given 2 medications. One was the abortive agent and the doctor wrote her a script for an antibiotic.

We left and she took the medication and had the abortion (which was really a medication induced miscarriage) at home. I was working for the next few days and it killed me that I couldn't be home with my wife when I felt she needed me.

Call me a baby killer if you like, I'm a Soldier and you wouldn't be the first. However, these are the facts: Abortion is not fun. It is not convenient. Laws such as 24 hour waiting periods and locally banning clinics from performing abortions do nothing to help the women affected. The costs were outrageous and out of reach for most folks that actually need to have the procedure done. Because of the social stigma I could not even ask my commander for a few days to chill at home with my sick wife. Being a medic I work with several health care providers and got some top notch support from them.

I was always pro-choice but not I am pro-access to care. Every hurdle and every 'waiting period' only delayed care. Making abortion difficult will not benefit anyone.

I wanted to share my experience with those that may not know what the human experience is. I still believe that we made the right decision for all parties involved.
 
I have been married to my wife for about 5 years now. I am a US Army soldier and will be for at least a few more years. My wife has stood by me for 2 deployments, several training exercises a year and an ill-fated stab at SF qualification. We do not have children. We talked it out rationally and objectively years ago and decided that if my wife became pregnant our financial situation was not congruent to raising a child.

A few weeks ago I came home from work and my wife was standing in the kitchen. I could tell immediately that something was not right in her demeanor. Instinctively I made a mental note that I saw both of our dogs when I pulled up the drive so I knew that couldn't be it. Her eyes were filled with tears as she came toward me. She threw her arms around me and started to cry and said that she thought she might be pregnant.

We sat down in the kitchen and I said 'We've talked about this before, and whatever you decide is what we are going to do.' She said that she had a great conflict inside between what her emotional feelings and her rational feelings were. She said it would be best to end the pregnancy.

That night we went out and purchased two home pregnancy tests, both of which confirmed her suspicions. She was indeed pregnant.

I am stationed on a small base in the middle of nowhere Missouri. I called our local Planned Parenthood clinic (by local I mean 40 miles away) and was told that they do not offer abortion services. I called my commander and asked for a 4 day pass I had been promised and it was granted. I did not tell him why fearing that his well known political beliefs might somehow hinder my pass.

Oh, and this was on our 5th anniversary.

We drove 2 hours away to Colombia only to be told that they also do not offer abortion services. We were told there was a clinic in Kansas City MO and another in St. Louis that did, both of which almost 2 hours away. I called the St. Louis clinic, being marginally closer, and made an appointment.

We made the drive and we hardly spoke the entire way. I can't say for sure what was going through her mind though I can only imagine. This was not an easy decision for either of us and contrary to much pro-life propaganda it was not fun nor was it done solely for convenience.

We arrived at the clinic which was a protected building. The entrance was manned by armed guards and a metal detector requiring me to make another trip to the truck to drop off my daily carry arm. I did not expect this level of security at a health care facility. We checked in and waited several hours.

The waiting room was horrible. Everyone there was desperate and in an unenviable situation. Young women with their parents and poor couples populated the waiting room. No one was having fun. On top of that, ****** pop music was piped in.

After several hours of waiting we were called into a small office and spoke to a counselor. She informed us that according to Missouri state law an ultrasound was required and a 24 hour waiting period before the actual abortion was performed. I supposed this is some feature to prevent rash decisions on the fate of the unborn. For me, it was a massive inconvenience and another unforeseen hurdle. Fortunately, I could afford the cost of the drive and the time off. However, many cannot. I cannot imagine being a young person with no means trying to do this.

We had the ultrasound performed. My wife chose not to see. However, being a medic and being curious I did. Being only 5 weeks old I could hardly make out the little shape in all the background noise. Along the uterine wall was a little oval about 4mm across according to the etched scale on the screen. We had another speechless drive home.

Being in the Military my wife has some of the best medical insurance coverage around however, abortion was not covered. Interesting, my request for a vasectomy was turned down because I did not have children. I had to pay the 500$ fee out of pocket which I could afford. However, my mind was on those who could not. None of this was made clear to us prior.

24 hours later we were back in that depressing waiting room. We were seen rather quickly by a doctor and my wife was given 2 medications. One was the abortive agent and the doctor wrote her a script for an antibiotic.

We left and she took the medication and had the abortion (which was really a medication induced miscarriage) at home. I was working for the next few days and it killed me that I couldn't be home with my wife when I felt she needed me.

Call me a baby killer if you like, I'm a Soldier and you wouldn't be the first. However, these are the facts: Abortion is not fun. It is not convenient. Laws such as 24 hour waiting periods and locally banning clinics from performing abortions do nothing to help the women affected. The costs were outrageous and out of reach for most folks that actually need to have the procedure done. Because of the social stigma I could not even ask my commander for a few days to chill at home with my sick wife. Being a medic I work with several health care providers and got some top notch support from them.

I was always pro-choice but not I am pro-access to care. Every hurdle and every 'waiting period' only delayed care. Making abortion difficult will not benefit anyone.

I wanted to share my experience with those that may not know what the human experience is. I still believe that we made the right decision for all parties involved.

I salute you and your wife's bravery and I appreciate you sharing this personal story.
 
\Having been in the military, catholic, and through a similar issue, I, and my wife, likewise feel great empathy with, and appreciation for, the sharing. Let it be a moment of strength, I've seen it all too frequently go the other way for people who can't use it as an issue to help focus their love and bring them closer together. In my experience not talking and trying to ignore/forget creates a walled off malignancy that can be lethal to your relationship, if you both allow it to be. Good Luck, live and love together, nothing in life is easy, but sharing always makes the difficult easier to bear.
 
I am very pro-choice but your story changed my perspective on something:

After several hours of waiting we were called into a small office and spoke to a counselor. She informed us that according to Missouri state law an ultrasound was required and a 24 hour waiting period before the actual abortion was performed. I supposed this is some feature to prevent rash decisions on the fate of the unborn. For me, it was a massive inconvenience and another unforeseen hurdle. Fortunately, I could afford the cost of the drive and the time off. However, many cannot. I cannot imagine being a young person with no means trying to do this.

As of right now, abortion is a constitutional right but a state can regulate it as long as it does not impose an "undue burden". Before I heard your story, I hadn't considered a 24 hour waiting period an "undue burden". I'm seriously considering changing my view now.

I'm always glad to have my beliefs challenged. Thank you for your story.

Being in the Military my wife has some of the best medical insurance coverage around however, abortion was not covered. Interesting, my request for a vasectomy was turned down because I did not have children. I had to pay the 500$ fee out of pocket which I could afford. However, my mind was on those who could not. None of this was made clear to us prior.

This just flat out angers and puzzles me. You have my sympathy.
 
I am grateful for you sharing this story of bravery in the face of political obstacles established to make people in difficult circumstances suffer unduly. You and your wife are victims of people voting by sound bytes and bumper stickers without really thinking about the implications of what they were voting for.

I imagine you might also be experiencing feelings of loss, and for that you have my sympathies as well.
 
Thanks for relating the experience. It gives one much to think about, if one is inclined to think in the first place.
 
I don't have any illusions about these obstacles. Ok, 24 hours between making the appointment and performing the procedure--fine. But requiring an ultrasound? The only reason that law exists is to bring suffering to the woman.

And I don't believe for a moment these people care about fetuses or anything. Because if they did, they would not be the same people who are completely against contraception. Yeah, I'm sure there are some anti-abortion people who are also in favour of contraception. I can respect that. But that's not what you hear from any of these people trying to make laws against abortion.
 
There is nothing brave about murdering one's own helpless child. This was a supreme act of cowardice, at best.
From the OP:
Being only 5 weeks old I could hardly make out the little shape in all the background noise. Along the uterine wall was a little oval about 4mm across according to the etched scale on the screen.
The fetus has no memory, no personality, no experiences, no sensation, no wants, no desires, no interests, no pleasure, no pain, no satisfaction, no suffering, no sense of its surroundings, no mental life whatsoever. Its not clear what, if any, morally relevant characteristics a fetus has at all which make it comparable to a child, let alone an infant, yet they have an equal claim to moral value? Sorry if I'm a little skeptical.

I don't see anything obviously objectionable with terminating a 5 week pregnancy. I think there is something profoundly objectionable to 24-hour waiting periods, needless ultrasound, healthcare that's nearly inaccessible to impoverished people, sweeping prohibitions on insurance providers from covering abortion regardless of individual circumstances, and the very fact that we even need armed guards at the entrance of healthcare clinics.

foxholeatheist, my heart goes out to you and your wife.
 
People, like Bob, don't understand that abortion is a hard choice but a responsible one. They believe sex is only for procreation....weird.
 
Thanks for all your (mostly) kind comments. It really put us to a test and this was a difficult decision.

It is one thing to read about abortion and the whole process. When you're in that waiting room looking around at all these scared women; most very young, mostly brown or black and mostly poor, it puts a very human face on the entire issue. It is not something anyone was taking lightly and it was not fun.

I posted this not as 'oh pity poor me' lifetime movie but rather 'OK, ya'll really wanna know what it's like?'.

I am very pro-choice but your story changed my perspective on something:

As of right now, abortion is a constitutional right but a state can regulate it as long as it does not impose an "undue burden". Before I heard your story, I hadn't considered a 24 hour waiting period an "undue burden". I'm seriously considering changing my view now.

I'm always glad to have my beliefs challenged. Thank you for your story.

It really is not an undue burden. It is however when there are no clinics nearby, then it is a big deal. I understand the concept so that rash decisions are not made. But I can't help but think about those in rural areas or those without dependable transportation.

I can certainly understand someone having objections to abortions be it early or late. However I cannot understand laws and regulations placed simply to inconvenience women that are likely scared and confused enough already.

I don't have any illusions about these obstacles. Ok, 24 hours between making the appointment and performing the procedure--fine. But requiring an ultrasound? The only reason that law exists is to bring suffering to the woman.

And I don't believe for a moment these people care about fetuses or anything. Because if they did, they would not be the same people who are completely against contraception. Yeah, I'm sure there are some anti-abortion people who are also in favour of contraception. I can respect that. But that's not what you hear from any of these people trying to make laws against abortion.

The ultrasound is also required to confirm that there is actually a pregnancy and to confirm that it is not ectopic and thus not a threat to momma. There was no requirement for her to see and she was asked if she wanted to. Like I said, she declined. Mrs. Fox is a rational human but also a chick and you know how chicks are (sort of joking).

I find it crazy that the Army will not allow me to get a vasectomy because I have no children. I am 29 years old my wife is 31. We made a big boy decision that we would not make the best parents in the world, especially at this stage in our lives. And if we ever found ourselves thinking we absolutely need a child there are plenty to adopt. My wife and I have volunteered at enough orphanages in Korea to know this.

For the record, my wife and I were practicing safe sex and we always have.

There is nothing brave about murdering one's own helpless child. This was a supreme act of cowardice, at best.

If you want to call it murder that's fine. But you don't have to live with it. We do. And we are.

But here it is. I put myself out there knowing that there'd be a few comments like yours. For what it's worth there's a bit of bravery for ya.
 
I seriously doubt that anybody is pro abortion. Nobody goes out and get pregnant just so they can line up for an abortion. It's an extremely difficult decision to make and in my mind, nobody other than the people directly involved have any say in the decisions that are made.

Back in the days when abortion was completely illegal in the US, it still happened and women died as a result. I believe it should be considered a medical procedure and handled accordingly. Here in Texas, the Lege recently passed a sonogram law which makes it the law that the mother must hear the heartbeat before having the procedure done.

Interesting how the people who are so against abortion (usually white men) seem to lose interest in helping the fetus when it becomes a live child. Then we hear about the supposed welfare queen mom with the seven kids that the government is supporting. It would have been a hell of a lot more cost effective to make birth control free and abortion readily available, but some in our society think that "promiscuous" women should be punished for their sins by carrying that child to term.

Here we have a married couple who made an extremely difficult decision. While I truly wish that there was no need for abortion services in the world, the reality is that it's necessary and therefore should be available to all.
 
Last edited:
People, like Bob, don't understand that abortion is a hard choice but a responsible one. They believe sex is only for procreation....weird.


People like thaiboxerken have no clue whatsoever about the true feelings, beliefs and motives about those for whom they arrogantly and fraudulently presume to speak.
 
If you want to call it murder that's fine. But you don't have to live with it. We do. And we are.

But here it is. I put myself out there knowing that there'd be a few comments like yours. For what it's worth there's a bit of bravery for ya.


Do not ever forgot, that you had a precious son or daughter, who could have brought great joy to you (or if not to you, to a very fortunate set of adoptive parents), and who could have made a great contribution to the world. And you chose to kill him or her, rather than give him or her a chance at life.

Some day, you will stand before your maker, with your murdered child's blood dripping from your hands, and you will be held to account for yourself. I do not envy you.

You chose to deal with a difficult situation in the most cowardly and depraved manner available to you, and you arrogantly proclaim it as an act of courage.
 
Last edited:
Foxhole- thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sure it was not easy to do.
 
People like thaiboxerken have no clue whatsoever about the true feelings, beliefs and motives about those for whom they arrogantly and fraudulently presume to speak.

Yes, because ambiguous statements like these are so hard to decipher:
There is nothing brave about murdering one's own helpless child. This was a supreme act of cowardice, at best.
Some day, you will stand before your maker, with your murdered child's blood dripping from your hands, and you will be held to account for yourself. I do not envy you.


Thanks for sharing your story, foxholeatheist. I know the existence of ignorant hate-mongers doesn't make the harrowing decision you and your wife had to make any easier.
 

Back
Top Bottom