457 days until 2,300 days - Daniel 8:14

fagin said:
Or he'll be back to explain why we are so filthy god needs more time to cleanse the world.

Or something.
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Good luck with that! He'll be back, but explanations have never been a strong suit.

That reminds me, I need to get more shampoo.
 
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As the person whose throat was in question, I would suggest that (this time at least) the instaban would be unnecessary, as the implication is that such an event would be dependent on the prophesy involved coming true, a situation which would alter the rules of all things, and thus is not a threat of the bannable sort.

This is not to say that the statement was not silly and arrogant and many other things.

Elwin, if you should happen to be reading this, you need to get off your high horse for a moment and remember where you are and whom you are addressing. This is the case whether or not you are right or wrong, and whether or not you are all you say you are.

From the standpoint of this forum, you are anonymous, and your language and statements resemble those of others, false prophets and lunatics all. Even if you are not a false prophet or a lunatic, you cannot reasonably expect any audience here to know that or to give you slack in your pronouncements. Nothing you have said so far distinguishes you from those who have come before. It is arrogant and counterproductive to accuse people here of sins and stupidity, when you know us no better than we know you.

Your only hope of being taken seriously at all is to treat others as you might wish to be treated, to be specific, informative and literate about what you predict, and to have the cojones to stick around so see your prediction through.
 
It was asked a while ago what might true believers be thinking before the big day arrives. I worked with a total fundy, a college grad and at one time an engineer for the airlines.
He came to work one day and said he wouldn't be back to work on Monday. We asked him about his vacation plans. He said, no vacation!, the rapture was coming on Sunday. This was a time period when the "rapture" was a big deal. A popular bumper sticker said "caution the driver may disappear at any time". I live in the LA metro and wondered what it would be like if the drivers of half the cars at rush hour suddenly zipped toward heaven. Well believe it or not he was back at work on Monday. The excuse was that his pastor had used incorrect dates from the bible but was working on a fix. It turns out he had not given away anything he owned but, of course, he had hedged his bet.
 
Kid Eager said:
I've got mixed feelings on this one - it would depend on who's the tosser and who's the tossee.

Roaring is a must-have, though. Gotta roar. :crab: (what, you've never heard of the Speckled Christmas Filthy Roaring Crab?)
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It also depends on your definition of tossing. In British English, this is, shall we say, a stress-relieving activity normally conducted as a solo process. That is not to say that it cannot be a mutual activity: again, as you say, it then would very much depend on who was the tosser. :D
As for the crabs, are they some sort of presage of the Apocalypse? I always thought it was Horsemen.
 
Cosmic Yak said:
The Four Crabs of the Apoclawlypse: Claw, Chitin, Plates and Death.
(Death is the same for crabs as it is for anyone else).
I, however, will be saved, as the Crabture will lift me up above the Wrath of the Clawd.
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And lo, the unbelievers were cracked open, and yea did the butter and garlic flow, and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth (while wearing lobster bibs).
 
Battling the Crabs of the Apocalypse.
 

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Hellbound said:
And lo, the unbelievers were cracked open, and yea did the butter and garlic flow, and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth (while wearing lobster bibs).
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Whoa there! You obviously haven't been reading the Gospel of Bruce, the Speckled Christmas Filthy Roaring Crab, correctly.

In the Gospel of Bruce 13, verses 21-cumquat (crab verse numbering is different) it refers to crustaceans, not crabs exclusively (at least according to the Esperanto translation).

in the proper church there are the The Four *Crustaceans* of the Apocalypse: Lobster, Crab, Prawn, and Cray (the most mathematically inclined of the Four).
 
GT/CS said:
Are there any entertaining EOD claims these days. All seems fairly quiet.
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That's what *they* want to to think, but have you really be listening?

The Book of Bruce SCFRC sayeth (Bruce had a lisp, after all - very common in crabs) that ye shall not know the day of the thingy until the thingy things, unless you keep a really close eye on the hermit crabs* as they're sneaky little buggers and are likely to be the first to know.

*the Book of Bruce contains frequent negative comments on hermit crabs. Apologists suggest this crabbist attitude is simply a reflection of the times, but modern gospel interpretations suggests it was something more personal.
 
Kid Eager said:
Whoa there! You obviously haven't been reading the Gospel of Bruce, the Speckled Christmas Filthy Roaring Crab, correctly.

In the Gospel of Bruce 13, verses 21-cumquat (crab verse numbering is different) it refers to crustaceans, not crabs exclusively (at least according to the Esperanto translation).

in the proper church there are the The Four *Crustaceans* of the Apocalypse: Lobster, Crab, Prawn, and Cray (the most mathematically inclined of the Four).
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I'm glad you posted this before we went off on an ignorant tangent.
 
TofuFighter said:
I'm glad you posted this before we went off on an ignorant tangent.
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Me too. Don't want no going off on ignorant tangents in this thread. This is an equal opportunity thread and all tangents are welcome in the Church of Bruce The Speckled Christmas Filthy Roaring Crab (blessed be its cutting claw).
 
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