Atheism Plus/Free Thought Blogs (FTB)

[Myriad]

I have never watched an episode of desperate housewifes, but i'm fairly certain, that it's the innocent, that destroys the victimised stuff.

ceepolk said that, her ex told her that he was in love with another girl. This was the reason for the break up. However the guy that wouldn't say boo to a goose, decided for good measure, to destroy her stuff and put it in a bath full of kitty litter and hot water.

Well, it does seem unexpected that the person who initiated the breakup would be the one to act vengeful. But I think that was the point of the anecdote: that people in bad relationships (or even good relationships that are ending) might do unexpected and unjustified harmful things. I wouldn't assume it's untrue just because it doesn't follow the usual patterns of a TV reality show.

[not as mod]More generally, it doesn't seem necessary to be dissecting this person's personal anecdotes here. I understand that it's somewhat relevant to the extent that he or she has been using the anecdotes to establish authority on the A+ forum. But he or she is hardly a public figure and it doesn't seem all that important to the overall topic, even in the context of criticizing the A+ forum's moderation practices.[/not as mod]

The [not as mod] tags above are to emphasize that the paragraph is my personal opinion on a matter of taste, and is not a moderation comment or directive. (This would be true even without the tags, but since Vetinari is new I wanted to make sure that's clear.)

Welcome to the forums, Vetinari!

Respectfully,
Myriad

 

[Vetinari]

I'm actually new to all forums, I wish I knew how to delete the double post, any help would be most welcome. I'm still trying to navigate my way around this site.

If anyone says A+ does nothing in the the real world they're wrong, I found this site through an a+ missionary, qmartindale to be exact. I respect his work educating the savages.

 

[theprestige]

If anyone says A+ does nothing in the the real world they're wrong, I found this site through an a+ missionary, qmartindale to be exact. I respect his work educating the savages.

Vetinari, would you be willing to tell us more about qmartindale's missionary work, and how it affected or inspired you?

 

[Vetinari]

I don't know how to quote yet, as i've insinuated above, but I understand the point of your post Myriad.

And no MR. Scott, I wouldn't last 2 minutes on that site, unless they change the rules(again) to allow other opinions.

 

[Vetinari]

It was a poor attempt at a joke prestige. I did hear about this site through A+ but the missionary work done by exi, samsa and qmartindale was a purely fictional construct of my own, suggesting A+ sends out SJ missionarys' to educate the masses.

 

[jhunter1163]

I doubt that any of the A+ mods would get to be mods at JREF. Agenda-driven ideologues need not apply.

ETA: And welcome to the forum, Vetinari. Heed Mr. Scott's words; he is wise.

 

[UnrepentantSinner]

Well, it does seem unexpected that the person who initiated the breakup would be the one to act vengeful. But I think that was the point of the anecdote: that people in bad relationships (or even good relationships that are ending) might do unexpected and unjustified harmful things. I wouldn't assume it's untrue just because it doesn't follow the usual patterns of a TV reality show.

"Desparate Housewives" was a scripted drama. I think you might be confusing it with the various "Real Housewives" abominations.

I'm actually new to all forums, I wish I knew how to delete the double post, any help would be most welcome. I'm still trying to navigate my way around this site.

You cannot, but you can go to the double, find the "edit" button, click on that and delete the content of the second post (as long as it's within 2 hours).

I don't know how to quote yet, as i've insinuated above, but I understand the point of your post Myriad.

In each post, at the lower right there's 4 buttons. The center two quote and " (the one that looks like quotation marks) are the easiest way of doing so. Click on quote and you move to the end of the thread with the quoted messages and you may respond in kind. The quotation mark one is multi-quote, allowing you to quote multiple posts in a thread or even across subforums here.

Welcome to the JREF forum and if you have any further questions on navigating or utilizing the forum, feel free to post a message in the Welcome thread or start a thread in Forum Management.

 

[Squeegee Beckenheim]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I've just looked at the thread that was posted a few pages back, and that's the first time I've looked at the A+ forums. Um, I thought the idea of using terms like "xe" and "hir" was in order to address someone that you don't know the gender of without inadvertently causing offence? So why is Setar referring to his/her self using those terms?

That's just...odd.

 

[zooterkin]

You cannot, but you can go to the double, find the "edit" button, click on that and delete the content of the second post (as long as it's within 2 hours).

Better still, click on the Report icon (the "!" in a triangle, on the left) for the second post, and explain that you would like the duplicate post removed. The mod team will be happy to oblige.

 

[Quinn]

I thought the idea of using terms like "xe" and "hir" was in order to address someone that you don't know the gender of without inadvertently causing offence? So why is Setar referring to his/her self using those terms?

Factual answer: In addition to referring to people of unknown gender, such terms are also used (in A+ and similar circles) to refer to people who prefer not to identify with either gender, or by people who don't like their pronouns to address gender at all.

A+ answer: **** you and your ****-ing steaming pile of cisnormative transphobic bull-****, you ****-ing ****! You don't get to tell me what words I'm allowed to use to describe myself, so just ****-ing stop it! If you would ****-ing read moar and listen moar, maybe you'd have a ****-ing clue that gender is not as binary as it seems to you from your big, important, privileged point of view, and you'd stop perpetuating the ****-ing patriarchal status-quo linguistic oppression that some of us have to deal with every single ****-ing day!

[Also note that an authentic A+ response would have your original question hidden in a "trigger warning" spoiler box, with a quick, condescending summary consisting of a few of the terms that are considered most disparaging in their world.]

 

[jhunter1163]

Vetinari:

I've deleted your duplicate post, as you expressed a wish along those lines. Please don't think you're being oppressed. (end modsplaining)

 

[squealpiggy]

I'm sorry, I haven't a cluesplained.

Nice NOTpology!

Hello all.

I'm not sure of the posting etiquette regarding this forum(are you expected to post in the introduce yourself thread, before reading hours of, basket 'o' links) I don't know.

I'm going jump straight in, if you have no objections?

I have never watched an episode of desperate housewifes, but i'm fairly certain, that it's the innocent, that destroys the victimised stuff.

ceepolk said that, her ex told her that he was in love with another girl. This was the reason for the break up. However the guy that wouldn't say boo to a goose, decided for good measure, to destroy her stuff and put it in a bath full of kitty litter and hot water.

Welcome to the forums Lord Vetinari. Or may I call you Havelock?

I found the anecdote to be odd, but that's just the way I saw it. The problem with hearing one side of the story with domestic situations is that the partner will tend to exaggerate the harm that was done to them and gloss over or omit the things they may have done.

I still think that reporting the culprit for criminal damage is the way to go.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I've just looked at the thread that was posted a few pages back, and that's the first time I've looked at the A+ forums. Um, I thought the idea of using terms like "xe" and "hir" was in order to address someone that you don't know the gender of without inadvertently causing offence? So why is Setar referring to his/her self using those terms?

That's just...odd.

In addition to Quinn's explanation it also seems to be part of the in-group's means of self identifying, adopting the jargon of an oppressed minority in order to get another stamp on the victim card (get five stamps on your victim card and you get a FREE PASS!).

To me it's a little pretentious, but this impression is gleaned from the fact that the rest of the A-plus forum is also very pretentious.

 

[Stout]

In her anecdote ceepolk says she was dumping him because he confessed to being in love with another girl. So...she dumped him rather than going all submissive or subservient or whatever it was that ceepolk thought he wanted her to do.

I know this sounds like it's going too far. I made this mistake when I was very young and came home to every single garment I owned of any quality, all my lingerie, my best shoes, my vintage winter coat, all my makeup, things i treasured, heaped in the bathtub, cut up with scissors, covered with used kitty litter, and then the tub filled with hot water, and I didn't think that boy would say boo to a goose. we were breaking up because he told me he was in love with a different girl, and he did that to my things. four pairs of fluevogs, and i have never been so wealthy that fluevogs were something I could buy without saving money and skimping on healthy groceries. lovingly curated vintage clothes that I bought, altered, and restored. cosmetics from Dior and Chanel. my bottle of Nikki de Saint phalle, smashed. my individuality, my style, my tools of feminine performance, the luxury items I ate ramen for, destroyed, and why? because the first thing out of my mouth was, "i'm totally breaking up with you." maybe it was because I didn't cry, or beg. I don't know.

Bolding mine.

A carefully crafted work of fiction where ceepolk was wronged, acted as the strong woman and was victimised for it.

 

[AvalonXQ]

Factual answer: In addition to referring to people of unknown gender, such terms are also used (in A+ and similar circles) to refer to people who prefer not to identify with either gender, or by people who don't like their pronouns to address gender at all.

Yep. Although those of us who are well-adjusted about it simply tell others to use whichever pronouns they prefer. About 2/3rds of the forumites refer to me as "he" and the other third as "she;" I'm happy with either as long as you don't use the pronouns as an excuse to insist on assigning me an actual gender.

This approach is anathema to A+, as who would ever voluntarily give up an opportunity to be butthurt?

 

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I've just looked at the thread that was posted a few pages back, and that's the first time I've looked at the A+ forums. Um, I thought the idea of using terms like "xe" and "hir" was in order to address someone that you don't know the gender of without inadvertently causing offence? So why is Setar referring to his/her self using those terms?

That's just...odd.

I think it's for people who aren't sure what gender they are, or are confused about it, or it switches around every couple of hours, or...something. It's all rather silly.

 

[The Central Scrutinizer]

In addition to Quinn's explanation it also seems to be part of the in-group's means of self identifying, adopting the jargon of an oppressed minority in order to get another stamp on the victim card (get five stamps on your victim card and you get a FREE PASS!).

To me it's a little pretentious, but this impression is gleaned from the fact that the rest of the A-plus forum is also very pretentious.

This too.

 

[Beelzebuddy]

Yep. Although those of us who are well-adjusted about it simply tell others to use whichever pronouns they prefer. About 2/3rds of the forumites refer to me as "he" and the other third as "she;" I'm happy with either as long as you don't use the pronouns as an excuse to insist on assigning me an actual gender.

This approach is anathema to A+, as who would ever voluntarily give up an opportunity to be butthurt?

I find myself going by avatar more than anything. Chrono has dangly bits, therefore so do you. If you changed it to Marle I'd probably start referring to you as "she," even if you explicitly said you were a guy.

I think this would be equally offensive to A+. How dare I let outward appearance objectify blah perception blah blahslpaining.

 

[Krikkiter]

Yep. Although those of us who are well-adjusted about it simply tell others to use whichever pronouns they prefer. About 2/3rds of the forumites refer to me as "he" and the other third as "she;" I'm happy with either as long as you don't use the pronouns as an excuse to insist on assigning me an actual gender.

This approach is anathema to A+, as who would ever voluntarily give up an opportunity to be butthurt?

Absolutely. I tend to (mostly) use s/he, which I don't think could offend anyone but the A *********** Plussers. And to be honest I've never been that comfortable with it because it seems a bit too PC, but then... who gives a ****. No-one's ever gotten angry with me because of it.

 

[d4m10n]

A carefully crafted work of fiction where ceepolk was wronged, acted as the strong woman and was victimised for it.

"I have never been so wealthy that fluevogs were something I could buy without saving money and skimping on healthy groceries..."

Um, yeah. What is it with social justice keyboard warriors and the fluevogs? Never before has my RSS feed had so much talk about shoes.

 

[squealpiggy]

In her anecdote ceepolk says she was dumping him because he confessed to being in love with another girl. So...she dumped him rather than going all submissive or subservient or whatever it was that ceepolk thought he wanted her to do.



Bolding mine.

A carefully crafted work of fiction where ceepolk was wronged, acted as the strong woman and was victimised for it.

The phrase that struck me was:

" my tools of feminine performance"

Which seems like a code for "I wear sexy knickers but the patriarchy totes made me do it".