Minarvia
fading orb
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2006
- Messages
- 2,224
Originally Posted by Minarvia View Post
Again, from my personal experience, using my late father as an example, do you think it is wrong of me to have not respected or honoured him when he made no pretense of his feelings about women? About how he would ogle young girls with his snide remarks of "if they are old enough to bleed they are old enough to butcher," and countless other awful "beliefs" he had?
No.
Thank you; I thought not, but I have been feeling guilty ever since he died. But then I think about it and realise that I simply could not have truly respected him no matter how much I could have tried.
Originally Posted by Minarvia View Post
Yes, he was nice enough most of the time to me. He fed me and provided for me, but I could never shake what I knew he believed. Goodness knows I tried for many years.
This is the absolute, rock bottom minimum that anyone should expect from a parent.
That is true. He had a duty, at the very least, to do that.
Originally Posted by Minarvia View Post
So, was I supposed to just respect him for his behaviour alone and ignore his beliefs regarding myself, my mother, and all women?
Again, no, he didn't deserve your respect.
Thank you for understanding. In Avalon's view of what this thread is about, I began to question whether my lack of respect was wrong. And I do know that a person can "show" respect, but that is not the same as truly respecting the other person. Now, my father had his very hateful faults, and for the most part the religious people I know aren't hateful, altho some are. The ones who are not, however, I don't respect as much as I would like because I cannot wrap my head around the concept of someone believing in fairy tales and superstitions. However, I do respect them more than the hate monger groups who despise atheists or anyone not of their "faith." At least my father had one decent redeeming factor in my eyes; he was an atheist!
Originally Posted by Minarvia View Post
So, seriously, was I wrong to NOT respect and honour my father?
No, you were not wrong.
I'm so glad you said all this. I'm sorry to be so late in responding! I really appreciate all you've said because I've felt guilt for years over my feelings regarding my father.
So, this thread is interesting, but there will still be differences of opinion on who one can respect and who one cannot or will not. I suppose different situations and different sorts of people factor into this and there is no clear cut answer.
Again, from my personal experience, using my late father as an example, do you think it is wrong of me to have not respected or honoured him when he made no pretense of his feelings about women? About how he would ogle young girls with his snide remarks of "if they are old enough to bleed they are old enough to butcher," and countless other awful "beliefs" he had?
No.
Thank you; I thought not, but I have been feeling guilty ever since he died. But then I think about it and realise that I simply could not have truly respected him no matter how much I could have tried.
Originally Posted by Minarvia View Post
Yes, he was nice enough most of the time to me. He fed me and provided for me, but I could never shake what I knew he believed. Goodness knows I tried for many years.
This is the absolute, rock bottom minimum that anyone should expect from a parent.
That is true. He had a duty, at the very least, to do that.
Originally Posted by Minarvia View Post
So, was I supposed to just respect him for his behaviour alone and ignore his beliefs regarding myself, my mother, and all women?
Again, no, he didn't deserve your respect.
Thank you for understanding. In Avalon's view of what this thread is about, I began to question whether my lack of respect was wrong. And I do know that a person can "show" respect, but that is not the same as truly respecting the other person. Now, my father had his very hateful faults, and for the most part the religious people I know aren't hateful, altho some are. The ones who are not, however, I don't respect as much as I would like because I cannot wrap my head around the concept of someone believing in fairy tales and superstitions. However, I do respect them more than the hate monger groups who despise atheists or anyone not of their "faith." At least my father had one decent redeeming factor in my eyes; he was an atheist!
Originally Posted by Minarvia View Post
So, seriously, was I wrong to NOT respect and honour my father?
No, you were not wrong.
I'm so glad you said all this. I'm sorry to be so late in responding! I really appreciate all you've said because I've felt guilt for years over my feelings regarding my father.
So, this thread is interesting, but there will still be differences of opinion on who one can respect and who one cannot or will not. I suppose different situations and different sorts of people factor into this and there is no clear cut answer.