TAM X - Singles n' Singles

crazylegsmurphy said:
So...to conclude the rant....The Central Scrutinizer, no offence, but you really haven't been adding anything of value to this thread, your negativity is making me cranky, and now in the end you don't seem interested in attending anyway (if you ever did), so perhaps it might be a good time to find somewhere else to post. ya?
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I see you are unfamiliar with Scrut.
 
TubbaBlubba said:
I see you are unfamiliar with Scrut.
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Correct, I don't know this person at all, so all I see is someone being negative and sarcastic for no reason. If this is how this person wants to conduct themselves then that is fine, but I'm not really interested in people who use negativity and put downs in an attempt to seem "fun."

If she or anyone else would like to contribute to this thread with supportive ideas and suggestions I would love to hear them. I want this event to be awesome for everyone. However if someone just wants to shoot down the idea and/or me (or just want to type for the sake of taking up space), then I would prefer if they found somewhere else to be. I think that's fair.
 
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DrDave said:
Can I come? Sounds better than the other event being discussed.
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Thanks DrDave, your positive attitude really makes people feel welcome. Ask yourself, what purpose does posting that serve other than to be negative?

If you're not interested then would it perhaps not be better to just refrain from saying anything and let those who are, enjoy it?
 
crazylegsmurphy said:
If she or anyone else would like to contribute to this thread with supportive ideas and suggestions I would love to hear them.
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I think your essential problem is you haven't adequately defined who this event is intended to appeal to, and how you'll let those people know that it even exists.

You've talked about people who are uncomfortable meeting people in the bar, but why then would they be more comfortable meeting people at this event? Why would they be more comfortable at this event, as opposed to any of the other events that have run in the past? Events like: The Dinner and Fremont Street Excursion, the Poker Tournament, the Bowling Night, the Sushi Lunch, the Opening Reception, the Drinking Skeptically. What distinguishes your event from those, which have historically been quite open to new people? Anyone who posts on the forum and is interested in meeting people can sign up for these events, and quote a few have in previous years.

And even if you can identify a group that isn't interested in any of the above, what other event would interest them? I can't really imagine one myself.

Now, you might be trying to appeal to people who don't read the Forums. That's actually a group I suspect doesn't meet a lot of people at TAM (I've even heard tell of some people not learning about the Del Mar until Sunday, or even later!). But then, how will posting here get that info out to them?

I think, rather than promoting some vague "Let's just all meet each other" thing, you'd have more success with an actual event, that might attract people regardless of them being "single", and just promote that event. Make it something you don't need wingmen to attend with you, and singles will also attend. That's what the Canadian Dinner is like. It gives you a common topic to start conversations, and then it can go from there.

And then figure out how to advertise it outside just this forum, or Facebook.
 
Horatius said:
I think your essential problem is you haven't adequately defined who this event is intended to appeal to, and how you'll let those people know that it even exists.

You've talked about people who are uncomfortable meeting people in the bar, but why then would they be more comfortable meeting people at this event? Why would they be more comfortable at this event, as opposed to any of the other events that have run in the past? Events like: The Dinner and Fremont Street Excursion, the Poker Tournament, the Bowling Night, the Sushi Lunch, the Opening Reception, the Drinking Skeptically. What distinguishes your event from those, which have historically been quite open to new people? Anyone who posts on the forum and is interested in meeting people can sign up for these events, and quote a few have in previous years.

And even if you can identify a group that isn't interested in any of the above, what other event would interest them? I can't really imagine one myself.

Now, you might be trying to appeal to people who don't read the Forums. That's actually a group I suspect doesn't meet a lot of people at TAM (I've even heard tell of some people not learning about the Del Mar until Sunday, or even later!). But then, how will posting here get that info out to them?

I think, rather than promoting some vague "Let's just all meet each other" thing, you'd have more success with an actual event, that might attract people regardless of them being "single", and just promote that event. Make it something you don't need wingmen to attend with you, and singles will also attend. That's what the Canadian Dinner is like. It gives you a common topic to start conversations, and then it can go from there.

And then figure out how to advertise it outside just this forum, or Facebook.
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Thanks for your input. Perhaps you missed all the posts where I have been specifically saying this meet up is for those who are attending TAM for the first time, that are single (romantically), or are attending alone.

I have done a lot of things to let people know this exists. I have posted it on other forums, to other skeptics groups, to different twitter groups, and mentioned it on my Facebook. Others have also said they have mentioned it in other places as well.

I wouldn't say that those here isn't interested in the other events, that would be a bit of a misunderstanding. In fact, I would guess most people interested in this event are more likely to want to attend those other events.

The thing is, that not everyone is comfortable walking into a group of people that already know each other. Meeting others in the same situation means there are no preconceived expectations and everyone is generally feeling the same level of "nervousness".

As for the event itself. If you go back and read the posts, and/or check out the Facebook link, you'll notice that we are trying to come up with some ideas. It's still like 80 days away so I'm not super concerned with coming up with something today.

This thread is more about finding people who are interested in simply meeting based on a common situation, what we end up doing will be up to those who are interested.
 
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And even if you can identify a group that isn't interested in any of the above, what other event would interest them? I can't really imagine one myself.
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I read this wrong above.

I think an event where it was perhaps a little more low key. Something that didn't require anyone to feel nervous about having to perform (bowling/poker), or even something revolving around alcohol.

I was looking online and there are some really cool science based activities (the Titanic exhibit for example), that would allow the group to be able to mingle and talk to each other, but also have something to focus on and promote conversation.

The idea is to make everyone comfortable and break the ice without having to worry about a huge group of unknowns. Some people have no problem walking into those other events alone, but as some have said here, that hasn't always resulted in a positive experience.

The single greatest appeal for this event is that everyone who is attending is either there alone, single, or a first timer. To me, those are three major hurdles for attending a conference....correct me if I'm wrong.
 
crazylegsmurphy said:
Thanks for your input. Perhaps you missed all the posts where I have been specifically saying this meet up is for those who are attending TAM for the first time, that are single (romantically), or are attending alone.
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Sure, but that's a pretty vague grouping. I was all three of those my first TAM, and still am two out of the three. However, when I want to "meet people", I plan to go to the events that I mentioned earlier.


The thing is, that not everyone is comfortable walking into a group of people that already know each other. Meeting others in the same situation means there are no preconceived expectations and everyone is generally feeling the same level of "nervousness".
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And here's the part that you miss: Why would they suddenly be more comfortable at this particular event? I'm not the most social guy in the world, but at my first TAM, I got into the Poker Tournament, and other get togethers. Why would any of the people in the categories you mentioned be more at home with you, rather than the other events? You've got to define your brand a bit more clearly.


As for the event itself. If you go back and read the posts, and/or check out the Facebook link, you'll notice that we are trying to come up with some ideas. It's still like 80 days away so I'm not super concerned with coming up with something today.

This thread is more about finding people who are interested in simply meeting based on a common situation, what we end up doing will be up to those who are interested.
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See, this is putting the cart before the horse. I'd want to know what you'd be doing before I committed to anything. I can't imagine people who are so shy they can't sign up for poker or Fremont Street suddenly committing to an event that doesn't even have an event defined.

"We're all alone here" just doesn't seem like enough to attract attention.
 
crazylegsmurphy said:
I was looking online and there are some really cool science based activities (the Titanic exhibit for example), that would allow the group to be able to mingle and talk to each other, but also have something to focus on and promote conversation.
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See, now this is a bit more constructive. We've had groups do things like this in previous years. I know there was one group that went to the Bodyworks exhibit, and there have been trips to the Atomic Testing Museum, and the Pinball museum.

The problem for newbies is just letting them know about such events, so they can sign up. That is a problem, but it won't be solved by just creating another event they won't find out about.
 
Horatius said:
I'd want to know what you'd be doing before I committed to anything. I can't imagine people who are so shy they can't sign up for poker or Fremont Street suddenly committing to an event that doesn't even have an event defined.

"We're all alone here" just doesn't seem like enough to attract attention.
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I think this is key. I'd also want to know what the event is. Now that a visit to the Titanic exhibit has been mentioned, I'm more interested (assuming I can fit it in with everything else going on around TAM outside of the official activities).
 
Horatius said:
The problem for newbies is just letting them know about such events, so they can sign up. That is a problem, but it won't be solved by just creating another event they won't find out about.
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Maybe the forum table can be used to promote the events? Of course, non-forumites are much less likely to stop by the forum table, and it's likely too late by then anyway...

ETA: I now realize that this has been done: http://www.internationalskeptics.com/forums/showthread.php?t=141492
 
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Horatius said:
Sure, but that's a pretty vague grouping. I was all three of those my first TAM, and still am two out of the three. However, when I want to "meet people", I plan to go to the events that I mentioned earlier.
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I don't think it's vague at all. Are you attending TAM for the first time ever in your life? Are you a single person who would like an opportunity to meet another single person with common likes and such, or are you attending the conference without anyone else?

When you want to meet people, you seem perfectly cool with walking into a group of people. That's awesome and I applaud you for having that courage. Not everyone is like that, and there are those who actually find that to be a very difficult thing to do, myself included.



And here's the part that you miss: Why would they suddenly be more comfortable at this particular event? I'm not the most social guy in the world, but at my first TAM, I got into the Poker Tournament, and other get togethers. Why would any of the people in the categories you mentioned be more at home with you, rather than the other events? You've got to define your brand a bit more clearly.
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Why do people at weddings make a "Singles" table? It's because it's super annoying when you're a third wheel among the other dating/married couples?

Why do science centres have "Adults only" nights? Because it's easier to show up knowing that you're not going to be swimming through a sea of kids.

Not to sound rude, but I'm not understanding why the common situation isn't a legitimate reason to meet? Why would I not go to a "first timers dance class" when I've never done the Cha Cha before?

You seem to be missing the point that when you're standing in a room of others and you know that they're all in the same situation as you, you don't have to be so worried about trying to break into a group of people that may know each other. Everyone is on equal ground and just as nervous and unsure as everyone else.



See, this is putting the cart before the horse. I'd want to know what you'd be doing before I committed to anything. I can't imagine people who are so shy they can't sign up for poker or Fremont Street suddenly committing to an event that doesn't even have an event defined.

"We're all alone here" just doesn't seem like enough to attract attention.
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Right, so suggest some stuff. I'm not going to be like, "Ok everyone, we are meeting at this place, for this event, and it's going to cost you $300, and you have to wear a snowsuit."

I'm starting with..."Hey, I'm attending TAM alone, and single. I have had issues in the past with meeting people at TAM, and if you are in the same boat as I am, or if this is your first time, then perhaps this may be of interest to you."

Then, I've said, "Ok awesome, so far seven people are interested, do you guys have any ideas about what you would like to do? I am totally open to suggestions, lets just make sure it works for everyone."


So, to turn this around...why wouldn't I go to the other events? Because poker friggin' sucks and I have no desire to do it. Bowling is pretty meh, and I have little to no desire to meet in a smelly pub and sit there with a bunch of people yelling over alcohol.

So my question to you is...how did those other events get started? Someone had to come up with an idea no? Who is to say that three TAM's from now the singles, first timers, solo even't won't be the most amazing event at TAM.
 
AdMan said:
I think this is key. I'd also want to know what the event is. Now that a visit to the Titanic exhibit has been mentioned, I'm more interested (assuming I can fit it in with everything else going on around TAM outside of the official activities).
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Here is my question, and PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, but do you not have the same ability as me to use Google?

I'm really not trying to be a total douchebag here. I have been spending my time trying to find ideas, and when I come across them I will totally post them here (and the Facebook group).

Everyone here has equal opportunity to provide ideas and input. I'm trying to find some cool stuff, but I can only do so much. If others want their TAM experience to be awesome, they need to put in some effort as well no?
 
Please understand that I am frustrated. This seems to be taking a lot of my time up for something that really shouldn't be that hard.

The problem I see is that I seem to be spending so much time defending the idea against those who seem to be more interested in finding reasons why it won't work, than finding reasons to make it awesome.

If you think the event is lacking, then by all means post as many ideas as you can. But to just reply and tell me that I'm being weird for not just accepting the other events, even though myself and others have expressed our feelings towards them is a bit defeating.
 
crazylegsmurphy said:
Here is my question, and PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, but do you not have the same ability as me to use Google?

I'm really not trying to be a total douchebag here. I have been spending my time trying to find ideas, and when I come across them I will totally post them here (and the Facebook group).

Everyone here has equal opportunity to provide ideas and input. I'm trying to find some cool stuff, but I can only do so much. If others want their TAM experience to be awesome, they need to put in some effort as well no?
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Maybe we could all meet by the penny slots. There seems to be at least 3 people interested in that.
 
crazylegsmurphy said:
I don't think it's vague at all. Are you attending TAM for the first time ever in your life? Are you a single person who would like an opportunity to meet another single person with common likes and such, or are you attending the conference without anyone else?
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The problem is, that isn't a group, it's three different groups all mushed together.

What if I'm a First TAMMER, but I'm attending with my wife? Is this for me? What if I've been to every TAM (even the fractional one!), but I'm not "romantically involved"? Is this for me? What if I'm married, and have been to TAMs before, but I'm the only one here from my city, so I'm "attending without anyone else". Is this for me?

If you focused on just one of those groups, it would be better. At least then I'd know if I might accidentally spend my time talking to a someone who's married, but attending their first TAM, when I'm looking to meet someone for a potential romantic relationship, or any of a dozen other such potential cock-ups.



So my question to you is...how did those other events get started? Someone had to come up with an idea no? Who is to say that three TAM's from now the singles, first timers, solo even't won't be the most amazing event at TAM.
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crazylegsmurphy said:
But to just reply and tell me that I'm being weird for not just accepting the other events, even though myself and others have expressed our feelings towards them is a bit defeating.
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They started because someone said "I'd like to play poker with a bunch of TAMsters. Anyone else up for it?"

Your problem is that you haven't really said anything about what you want to do at TAM. All you've done is dismiss all the other events as somehow being inadequate. Don't go complaining that others are critiquing your ideas when you've dismissed everyone else's ideas already.
 
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