God may not be useful to you but I can guarantee you that God can be useful to MANY people, myself included. I think I can understand at least somewhat where you're coming from because I've known many people who went to Yeshiva and a few to Catholic school- and several of them have had the same adverse reaction to what they were taught like you did. The problem with a lot of those type of schools is that if you don't believe exactly as you're taught, you often are treated as an outcast. I find it especially troubling in Yeshivas because in Judaism you're supposed to question; the Talmud is full of arguments for crying out loud:} Have you ever even heard of rabbis who agree with each other? :} And yet, my ex-boyfriend used to come home crying from his high school because he was picked on- because his family was not super-duper kosher like his peers. I hope you realize that these experiences, while by far not exceptions, are also not the only examples of what it means to be religious. I was literally frightened of religious Jews for years due to the experiences of the people I knew. However, I've found out that not all religious people are alike. I joined my local synagogue with my husband with a LOT of reservations (my agnosticism was only a small part of it compared with my fear of religious people) but I was welcomed with open arms by almost everyone I met. A lot of the congregants, my husband included make it a point to attend shiva services for people who have lost loved ones- whether they knew the person or not- if only to be there for members of the community. That's what being religious should be about, at least in my opinion; just be a good person. That's why I would consider a good atheist a better Jew than a religious Jew who is an a**hole.