Split Thread [Ed] Personal experiences with gays

[zooterkin]

It is perfectly normal for men to hug other men. In Europe, men even kiss each other in greeting.

Maybe, but not this part of Europe, thank you all the same!

 

[Rasmus]

I have the margin of error for those that have an elaborate cover, but as everyone is suggesting in this thread, shouldn't I have met a least ONE individual who was openly gay but acted masculine?

People still cannot be openly gay in the military, though.

And, like I said, your stance on the issue may easily be mistaken for a homophobic one, and in the army, people cannot take the risk to give you the benefit of the doubt.

So: No. That they are there doesn't mean you'd be able to spot them. Add to that your method of spotting gays is unreliable and restrictive at best.

"Openly gay" doesn't mean they will tell you or wear any sighs or stickers or whatever. IT just means they are not actively hiding it. (Again, I am not actively hiding my heterosexuality, either. And yet, people manage to assume I'm gay.)

 

[Belz...]

ahaa, I handt thought of that. But now you say it, it wouldn't surprise me at all. In fact I'd think that was a more likely scenario. People who are afriad they are losing (or never had) their faith, going OTT in their outward theism

That bit of sarcasm by me was supposed to get you to drop your ridiculous claim. I see I've failed to get you to reflect upon it.

 

[zooterkin]

The reason I think I have not met any masculine acting gay men in the military is because I think they are very rare in combat arms. And I'm sorry if my personal experiences come off as bigoted. Is there something that I should change about my personal experiences? I do not hate on gays or try to avoid them or anything like that. I just have simply never came across a gay man that acted masculine. I still don't see why that is so hard to believe.

How would you know if they were gay?

 

[aggle-rithm]

Yes I do the same thing when I run into someone I have not seen in a while. Granted, it is more of a bro hug though. What I was referring to is hugging another guy you see regularly. And you are like the 4th person to bring up another countries culture as if I have no knowledge of other countries cultures. I am well aware of man kissing and greetings in other countries. They just simply do not apply to what we are talking about here.

Cool hugging story... My wife and I were married in the Episcopal Church. Six years later, we had our marriage blessed by the Catholic Church in a small chapel ceremony with family and a few friends.

When it came time to give the "sign of peace", I hugged all my Episcopalian friends, as was the custom in that church. I then turned around and gave my parents a solemn handshake, as was the custom in the Catholic church.

Weird experience.

 

[Quad4_72]

It's in the thread title and everything!

Quad, do you accept that there may be people you have met and interacted with, who might have been gay but gave no indication of it?

Outside of the sample yes, I have probably met and interacted with some people who I did not know were gay. I would have to say that number is probably pretty small though, based on my sample of individuals I know personally.

 

[Belz...]

If Quad were to guess the sexuality of the men in this video, I'm guessing he would be all wrong..

And the gay guy in that video served in the US Army for five years.

Ah, but not in Quad's own platoon, oh no !

 

[aggle-rithm]

How would know if they were gay?

Simple...you have sex with them, and the ones that are obviously faking it are straight.

 

[The Don]

Your last sentence doesn't make sense. The gay people did not exhibit stereotypical behavior simply because I applied a stereotype to identify them.. They acted like that all on their own.

Then I did not explain myself very well...

The method you use to identify gay people is to see whether they are behaving in a "gay" way.

Amazingly, almost all the gay people you know behave in a "gay" way.

You appear to have discounted the possibility that there may be a large number of gay people who are very discreet about their sexuality and although gay, behave in such a away that casual "gaydar" simply will not spot them.

 

[dafydd]

Is this thread an example of military intelligence?

 

[chillzero]

The US military is an ideal context to observe people expressing their sexuality honestly. It is unlikely that there are any forces that would make people be dishonest about their attractions.

Indeed.

But as posters in this thread have suggested, I should have met at least one masculine acting gay guy who was open about being gay.

The reason I think I have not met any masculine acting gay men in the military is because I think they are very rare in combat arms.

<snip>

I just have simply never came across a gay man that acted masculine.

You just aren't getting it.

 

[dafydd]

Ah, but not in Quad's own platoon, oh no !

Regarding the anal lube that one of his men had,I have a tube of it here and I'm not gay.

 

[Alan]

I can accept "acting" as just meaning "behaving", without any connotations of fakery.

 

[Rasmus]

The reason I think I have not met any masculine acting gay men in the military is because I think they are very rare in combat arms.

I can't judge that, of course. But what about the people here that have met these gays and know that they exist?

Do you not belief their accounts?

I am not denying your experiences. I just think that the conclusions you draw from them are wrong and I think that your view on reality is somewhat biased as well. What you think you experience is not what is really going on around you.

And I'm sorry if my personal experiences come off as bigoted. Is there something that I should change about my personal experiences

I think it would be beneficial for you if you'd re-examined what you saw and experienced and if you could draw different conclusions from it.

Do you agree that we are talking a lot about interpretation of the facts here? (Like whether someone you spend time with acts in a masculine or feminine way, say? That is a matter of opinion to a degree, right? And from that you need to conclude whether it is indicative of their being straight or gay, too. And in how far that is accurate is under debate, right?)

I do not hate on gays or try to avoid them or anything like that.

I am sure that is correct.

Like I said earlier, the issue is that what you think about gays and their behavior is a subset of what homophobes think about gay people. You are rather exceptional in thinking what you think whilst at the same time not holding certain others thoughts to be true as well.

I just have simply never came across a gay man that acted masculine. I still don't see why that is so hard to believe.

Because those arguing with you here know these gay men. We know they exist and we know they are not rare or exceptional. For you to truly have not met any you would have to have lived under very exceptional circumstances.

It just seems much more likely that you have met these people and were simply not aware of that. Especially since much of your reasoning is prone to a number of errors.

I don't think you are a homophobe.
I don't deny that you have experienced the things you say.
But I am certain your judgment is way of.

 

[dafydd]

Now now, the US military has a policy still in effect that encourages people to be honest about their sexuality and discourages people from lying to avoid suspicion of homosexuality.

And with officers as broad minded as Quad they will all leap out of the closet.

 

[chillzero]

Then I did not explain myself very well...

The method you use to identify gay people is to see whether they are behaving in a "gay" way.

Amazingly, almost all the gay people you know behave in a "gay" way.

You appear to have discounted the possibility that there may be a large number of gay people who are very discreet about their sexuality and although gay, behave in such a away that casual "gaydar" simply will not spot them.

... plus ignoring the one person who he believes is straight ... who only 'acted' gay because he had been 'influenced' by some other gay guys he spent time with.

 

[aggle-rithm]

Regarding the anal lube that one of his men had,I have a tube of it here and I'm not gay.

Crisco comes in tubes now?

 

[dafydd]

Yes I can understand your point of view here. At work, I act very professional because I am an officer and a leader of men. When I get together with my old college buddies, we all act like a bunch of immature, obnoxious chauvinistic alpha males. Point taken.

I heard that in your platoon they really separate the men from the boys. With crowbars (joke)

 

[dafydd]

Crisco comes in tubes now?

What is Crisco?

 

[Rasmus]

Regarding the anal lube that one of his men had,I have a tube of it here and I'm not gay.

And is it labeled "anal lube" or something like that? Not "personal lubricant" "sex lube", "intimate lubrication" or anything neutral like that?