You make a lot of good points here .... and I'll try to respond succinctly
* I like that you point out the POV that someone might claim, "I would never bow down to such a tyrant," but at some point, would most likely break given the right amount of torment and torture, etc. So, talking one way about the man with the gun when you're not facing the end of an eternal barrel are two different things. I used to compare this "character trait" in a person, however, to Nazi Germany. Saying, "I would never commit such evil," is one thing, but some how millions went along with their countries agendas when facing the end of the gun, whilst many more stood in defiance of that gun and paid a horrific price.
However, even then ... those scenarios are not
eternal. They all have an "end" in sight. At some point, the victim will die. Eternal torment at the hands of a god is another matter alltogether. So perhaps my comparisons to what someone would do IRL as opposed to how they might react when face to face with eternal consequences (in my mind) were unfair
* I think what the Xtian tries to do with the conflicting traits of "God" (i.e. loving yet wrathful) is try to reconcile them with the Father Figure concept. A parent can be loving, yet heavy handed, etc and so forth. It still has it's obvious holes (like starving children, suffering and misery even on the "children of God", etc and so forth), but it's one view used to rationalize contradictory behavior and is part of the considerable mental effort
* One thing to remember, about that final scenario you give of Ashley and the man with the gun .... she is assuming about things he has said or not said, and so are you. Neither of you has seen the man with the gun, nor heard a peep from him. You are going off of her non-evidenced based accounts and anecdotes, fears and thoughts, wants and opinions ... when she could easily be delusional. If you think the man with the gun has threatened you directly, then you would need to provide evidence, the same as she would if she thinks he has revealed to her all the things she speaks of. Otherwise, you are both still assuming a lot about someone you have neither heard from, nor seen.
Which would beg to question, of course, "if there IS someone there, why are they just standing there and not clearing things up? Why aren't they speaking up and saying, "I am a waiter, not a man with a gun," or "I have a gun and you're gonna die if you don't love me, like Ashley says," etc and so forth?
There are lots of reasons. Perhaps there is no one there at all. Perhaps there is a waiter, but the waiter is unable to speak ... or ignorant of what is taking place. Perhaps (the extreme arguments) "the whole scenario is god" or it's taking place in the mind of god or we're heads in jars, etc and so forth.
Regardless, the ultimate bottom line is that anything you or Ashely assume, without evidence, doesn't show WHAT could possibly be behind you. A man with a gun, a waiter, nothing, or something else. Your attitudes towards each other, and your assumptions, only count about as much as your opinions concerning idle chatter regarding Atlantis

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Dude .... it's been interesting hashing this out. I've actually learned a few things

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