First, it's not about being afraid. It's about empowering someone to know and make the right decisions given the information.
The way I explained it to my daughters and the young women I taught was like this: Yes, you are right, young men should not sexually assault young women but they do. It will take society many generations to put a halt to it and until that time you are the only one who can do something about it.
Second it's not about not having male friends. It's about not being alone with them. There's no need for a young woman to be alone with a guy. We need food and air and water, and yes we are social animals, we need to be social. But it isn't essential that we be alone to socialize.
I don't entirely agree. There are times that a young woman must be alone with a man and they should not be fearful of the situation unless it is warranted and then they should take that fear to heart and get out of the situation.
There are simple tell tale signs that women can use to seperate the predators from honest men. However, when in doubt, err on the side of safety.
If a guy is trying to get a young girl alone, that girl should be aware that his intention is to have sexual contact with her. That should be an immediate warning sign.
Absolutely. A predator needs privacy and control to attack. Take either away and you are safe. If, for instance, a woman is out walking with a man and finds they are entering a dark, secluded area, she can simply say "Hey, let's go that way where it's light." If he tries to convince her to keep going the way they were, that is a sign she is in danger.
However, the guy might not even have been aware of where they were going and just say, "Yeah, okay." In that case she is safe.
That doesn't preclude having male friends, and that doesn't preclude being alone with a guy. But at the age we are talking about that (being alone) should be avoided. And as I said before, it doesn't really need to happen unless they are intending to have sex.
I disagree because this gives the impression that a girl is only alone with you to have sex in which case everytime they are alone sex is the reason. However, I agree with the sentiment because, often, it is a long term :friend" who is the attacker. Usually though, he has given many warnign signs that are ignored because the victim didn't want to believe what they meant.
Knowing that isn't going to do psychological damage to a girl. And her social life isn't going to be ruined by not wandering off with a guy. You can be just as alone in a park in the middle of the day, as you can in some guys living room at 3AM. Unless you intend on drinking and having sex. Or raping a girl.
Once again it is assumed that because you are alone with the guy you are consenting to sex. That is exactly the wrong impression to give. Sex is only okay when both have agreed to it without threat. Being alone is not a reason for a guy to assume it is okay to have sex with a woman.
And a girl doesn't need older boys in her life to be fulfilled and normal. At that age a girl should be hanging around guys her own age. And guys that age should be hanging out with girls their own age. There's several reasons a 19 year old guy is hanging around 16 year old girls and most of them are bad. At the very least that should be avoided until college.
I disagree again. I think it is very important for young women to have good, older male role models. The primary reason being that they show the young woman how women should be treated and what behaviour is acceptable. When my daughters see me open the car door for their mother, my wife, them and any other woman in my life, when they notice that I do not yell at women, call them names, or treat them as less than an equal, those arew the types of things that they learn and insist on from their boyfriends, husbands and other male friends.
There is a reason dysfunction runs in families. Children live what they learn. Not only does an abusive husband teach his sons to abuse, he teaches his daughters to take abuse and look for mates who abuse.
Good role models help prevent that.
Again, that doesn't preclude them. It's just more information to make an educated decision by. And as a parent, it's your job to let them know you know all the reasons and you're watching.
Agreed. Education, not fear, is the best way for women to stay safe.
Finally, as far as alcohol and drugs are concerned it's illegal anyways. At least in the US, and up to 19 here in Canada. Enforcing that as a parent is your job. Granted, everyone drinks under age, but the specific risk of rape should be discussed and how alcohol factors in and how much more important it is to not be alone with a guy.
Agreed. "Just say no" doesn't work.
(Nitpick: Drinking age is 18 in Alberta.)
If you can instill this in a young girl's head, she stand a much better chance of not being assaulted in her lifetime. 6 or 7 years of being hyper aware, and the only thing lost is this Hollywood romantic notion that you need to be alone with a guy to get to know him and bond. As if there's something magical about it. It isn't, it's what guys play on to get girls to let their guard down.
I agree. Girls also need to realize that their worth is not tied to some guy and that the chances of meeting your "true love" in high school are slim to none. That guy who tells you he loves you and will for the rest of his life is most likely not thinking past getting your panties off and doing the nasty. If he is serious, he won't mind waiting until you are both older.
One technique that was told to me by a friend was that when a guy said he loved her so they should have sex, she would ask him when they were getting married. The response was invariably "I don't want to get married!" To which she responded, "So, I am good enough to **** but not good enough to have your last name? See you later, Loser!"
)