Hey, did any one of you guys actually read the comments on that article? Because the women there answered every one of the arguments that's been brought up here. Every single one. In great detail.
In the comments:
a. the "this is just like racism" argument is covered, and in a different way than it's been covered here.
b. if any women post that they think the 1 in 6 women are rape victims stat is wrong, it is because, according to their own experience, it seems too LOW. None of them thinks it's incredible or even surprising. (And neither do I, fwiw.) Doesn't that give you pause at all? NONE of the women think 1 in 6 is surprising. Perhaps you think it can't possibly be true because women usually don't talk to men about having been raped...is that in the realm of possibility?
c. the "this is so mean and impolite and I'm just trying to be NICE" argument is covered.
d. the men, by and large, start out refusing to listen to the women trying to tell them about what it is like to be a woman living in the world. I'm willing to bet that gets old fast.
e. the links for where the 1-in-6 stats come from are provided, so all of you saying "yeah, but it might include this" or "yeah, but it might not include that" can actually find out for reals where the numbers come from.
If you do go read the comments, you might be uncomfortable with the way the comments are modded. You might feel that the mods are too quick to ban. I get the feeling that these women have heard these arguments over and over again, and in their own spaces (like their own blogs) they don't need to hear the same stuff AGAIN. So in order to have a safe space to discuss their own issues, they ban the people who come seeking to shame, humiliate, or threaten. They also ban those who refuse to listen, because it is their space and every woman alive has already put up with too much "what you think and feel is irrational and I will tell you why." I mention this because I originally felt they were too quick to ban, until I gave it a little more thought. Actually, I still think they were a LITTLE quick to ban, but I understand why they have such a strict policy.
So go read it, if you have questions or concerns about what you THINK this woman is saying. She and others address everything you've brought up. Comments are closed, which means I was forced to keep my mouth shut and just listen to what they had to say. (Forced to keep my fingers still and just read?)
My 2 cents, since this thread isn't closed: 1 in 6 women has been raped or sexully assaulted. I'm pretty sure that figure doesn't include childhood sexual abuse, either. So when you are approaching the pretty lady on the bus, there's a 1 in 6 chance that she's a survivor of sexual assault. Why do you think it's okay to assume that her risk assessment is irrational? Would you tell anyone else with PTSD that their risk assessment is irrational?
Oh, and one more thing, which is covered in the comments but which I think is too important not to mention here:
The risk assessment is not just "will this man rape me on this bus?" That's a strawman argument. Most rapes are committed by someone "known to" the victim. If you are ignoring her cues and refusing to acknowledge her boundaries, that's a good indication that she doesn't want to know you, not because you're gonna throw her down right that second, but because not respecting her boundaries is the kind of thing that might lead you to rape her later on, when you are "known to" her.
You start out an unknown entity, that's all. Then, by your actions, you make yourself more or less frightening.
