• Security incident: ISF was recently accessed by intruders. Please change your password, and change it anywhere else you used it. Read more

Things you'd like to see in a Vampire novel.

tyr_13

Penultimate Amazing
Joined
Aug 8, 2008
Messages
18,095
So what would you like to see in a vampire novel, because I'm writing one.

Also, if anyone has some good books on historic vampire legends, it would be helpful for research. I know most of the stuff is very recently invented, but anything is helpful.
 
I'd say dig in to the historical basis for vampires rather than the layers of pap that built up until we got Twilight.

Vlad Dracul was an incredibly interesting guy in his own right. A calculating genius, or a total lunatic? Bit from columns A and B perhaps.

Another angle is the exotic. Many nations have a version of the vampire legend, you could avoid the whole guy in a cape aspect altogether.
 
I'd say dig in to the historical basis for vampires rather than the layers of pap that built up until we got Twilight.

Vlad Dracul was an incredibly interesting guy in his own right. A calculating genius, or a total lunatic? Bit from columns A and B perhaps.

Another angle is the exotic. Many nations have a version of the vampire legend, you could avoid the whole guy in a cape aspect altogether.

Like the hopping vampires. I'm looking for more legends like that. Perhaps more traditional 'zombies' too.
 
Seriously. Does the world need another vampire novel?

If you must, could you avoid the whole sex thing and make it a story about a very alien mutation?
Or a detective story about a real person who chooses to live on blood? (And vitamin supplements, presumably).
 
Seriously. Does the world need another vampire novel?

Because it would sell right now sadly, and there is so much crap out there that even my writing seems nice in comparison. Besides, my buddy wants to collaborate again and this is the idea he really likes.
 
A full-on, no holds barred, free-wheeling parody of everything that makes the current generation of the gothic vampire novel the utter laughingstock that it has become. I want to see vampires that sparkle in daylight, vampires in Congress, vampires panhandling for a drop of blood, vampires with AIDS, vampires having to deal with alimony and child-support payments and impaling themselves upon wooden stakes just to end their own misery. I want to see vampire hit squads clashing with Mujahadin in the Kyber pass. I want to see vampires keeping Osama bin Laden just barely alive so as to tap his veins every day or so for a fresh drink. I want to see vampire cities on the ocean floor, because sunlight can't reach that far. I want to see vampires going "Boldly Where no Man has Gone Before' just to wipe out those stupid Vulcans. I want to see vampires running day-care centers and being scorned by peadophiles for their occassional lapse of moral behavior with one of the children. I want to see vampires bagging groceries, parking cars, mowing lawns, scavenging for discarded soda bottles, and gererally behaving like ordinary riff-raff.

And breasts. Female. Adult. Two-by-two. Saline, Silicone or natural.

Make it so.
 
So basically, after hefty research, we've concluded that my pop-up book of breasts would be the most popular work of modern vampire fiction possible.

I am, as I always suspected, a genius.
 
A good explanation as to why since vampires can create other vampires faster than normal human reproduction, why the entire planet is not vampires.
 
128848304205009345.jpg
 
A vampire story where vampires don't turn to dust (or much worse, sparkle) in sunlight.

How could sunlight make vampires burst into flame? After all, their bodies are made up of exactly the same stuff our bodies are.

New vampires turning to dust when killed is absurd. I'm pretty sure that concept must have started off with stories/movies with ancient vampires being killed and turning to dust because the magic that maintained their form is gone and they should be dust after all this time. But someone who has only been a vampire for a few days? They wouldn't be dust, just a corpse.

There is an idea I think I did read in a vampire novel (I don't remember which one) that makes a lot of sense. Since vampires don't have a pulse, they have no blood pressure. Erections are maintained by blood pressure. Therefore, all male vampires are impotent.

My conception of a "real" vampire is a form of magic that animates a corpse at night (repairing any damage and decay almost instantly) and temporarily wears off during the day. That's why vampires can't go out in the day. Not because of sunlight, but because the magic that animates them only works at night. They need to drink blood because doing so renews the magic that maintains them. If they don't drink blood each night, they just won't come back to life the next night.

You could put in some stuff about the difficulties of a vampire getting by in a society which requires valid ID for many things, and many places that issue or require ID (such as Banks or whichever authority in the country your novel is set in issues and renews drivers licences.)
 
Folkloric vampires don't burst into flame in sunlight -- in Stoker's novel Dracula makes several daytime appearances. Bursting into flame or crumbling to dust is cinematic which is why Murnau invented that part of the myth for Nosferatu.

I prefer my vampires to be disgusting, cannibalistic monsters rather than romantic leads.

However breasts are always welcome in vampire movies.
 
So what would you like to see in a vampire novel [SNIP]

Keith Richards. (You have to admit, it would explain a lot.)

Actually, what I'd really like to see is "30 Days of Night" crossed with either "Alien" or "Predator".
 

ISF - Join now!

Every member here is approved by hand. No bots, no spam, just people who care about evidence and honest debate.

Membership is free!

Create your free account

Back
Top Bottom