I'm struggling to understand that any health practitioner - who should have been first stop when a child displays odd behaviours - would suggest/support finding a lawyer and shipping the damaged goods back to supplier. It implies strongly to me that they never sought any help or advice for this boy, but simply wanted rid.
So you suggest I should have no empathy for the mother in this case?
What I don't understand are the people here willing to villainize the mother before the facts of the case are fully revealed. How do you know she just callously decided to return the 'damaged goods'?
What I know is some kids, even very young ones, can indeed be very dangerous. Do you recall the infamous murder of
2 yr old James Bulgar by 2 10 yr olds?
And what else I know is not every adoptive parent instinctively knows what to do if they become afraid of a child they have adopted. Not every parent is necessarily prepared for such a case. That doesn't make that parent evil or callous. That parent could easily be desperate regardless of what the people at the adoption agency are saying. In fact, the agency could be covering up their own failures in this case claiming they could have helped had they been contacted.
The record of other parents misled for numerous reasons by adoption agencies and other individuals is not hard to find.
This web page has many stories from parents who adopted disturbed children and the parents were misled about the children before the adoption. While the records are one sided anecdotes, the sheer number of repeating themes is hard to deny.
Here are a couple examples:
CT ADOPTER CLAIMS "WRONGFUL ADOPTION" by J. Block-Gianini
(Adopters in CT and Nationwide Can Add Their Comments at Abolish Adoption! petition page)
I adopted a boy from Connecticut DCYF. After destroying my home and my life, I could take no more and made the state take him back. They tried to charge me with neglect. They couldn't prove it though. I did pay a lawyer a lot of money to not go along with their bullying tactics. This boy told a state social worker he was homicidal and until she asked him 4 or five times if he was sure he was homicidal he said he didn't think so. I of course had him leave my home. My sister, a third year law student, discovered recently that he was on Risperdal; they said it was for PTSD...It is for schizophrenia, and I now realize that is what he has definitely. I am looking for any people that are in Connecticut with these tort claims as I am going to pursue a case against the state of CT for "wrongful adoption." -- Joanna Block Gianini
I am part of the ever-increasing number of adoptive families who have been lied to concerning their children's pasts, with those lies leading to the serious injury of members of the adoptive family.
In my case, my youngest adoptive son was brutally raped by an older adoptive son. This older son has been declared a serious threat to society by Illinois DCFS. He will be on their sex offender list for 50 years, which means it is illegal for him to be in contact with those he might victimize. Now DCFS, as per their usual policy, plan to remove him from the locked residential treatment facility where he is temporarily housed, and move him to a regular foster home. His current therapist says that this kid has made no progress and has a 100% chance of reoffending.
..... A false light was cast on these boys' background in their behavior and personality by the department,' Block said. "It was a slick marketing job so they can dump these children on the adoptive parents. And that's what they did, they literally dumped these kids."
"....The boys also broke their adoptive mother's jaw, tried to poison her and intentionally injured their older, previously adopted brother, ' Block said."
When they left the state children's home here in 1996, 7-year-old Gabor and 8-year-old Karoly were looking forward to a bright future as the newly adopted sons of two American couples in the wealthy suburbs of Connecticut.
In March, the boys, their names now officially Gabriel Petrosino and Jeremy Harper and their language now English, found themselves back in Hungary, delivered with little ado to the doorstep of Budapest' s main orphanage, each with two bags of clothing and toys, and a lifetime of emotional scars.
Their adoptive parents had simply had enough. They said the boys were children from hell, violent and emotionally disturbed. Unwilling and unable to fit in, they were destroying the lives of their adoptive families...
..The two boys are now back in foster care, but Hungarian officials say the case has revealed the dark side of Hungary's adoption system, which does not properly prepare or screen prospective parents and which they suspect is riddled with bribery, corruption and even baby- selling schemes.
My point is not which of these parents are irresponsible monsters and which of the children are really serial murderers on their way to their calling. My point is, it's easy from the outside to think you understand what went on here. But in truth, there is an incredibly broad range of possible facts in the case. I see no reason to condemn an adoptive parent for ignorance in knowing what to do with such a child.
And I'm not convinced, as I said before, that just because someone has tricked a parent into taking a troubled child out of an orphanage, that new parent is cruel and evil if they were unprepared to take care of a disturbed child.
