School bullies many years later.

Cainkane1

Philosopher
Cainkane1
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The great American southeast
I'm 62 years old and my highschool years are far behind me. Just as there are bullies now there were bullies in my day too. I wasn't victimized much by them but I still hated them and feared them. Watching some weaker student being shoved around was a very negative experience for me.

I've outlived two very exceptionally bad punks. One died in a car accident. He was driving 75 mph in a 35 mph zone and he hit a tree. The other one died very strangely. He was an order puller at a junk yard who sat for hours in an easy chair taking orders over the phone. One day his boss walked in and he was dead in his seat. He had died of a heart attack.

Ok these two guys hung with a third troublemaker who is still alive. I sit down with him at my favorite watering hole. He has heart trouble and some sort of wasting disease. I don't sit with him because I like him but out of very morbid curiousity. I talk with him a lot.

He hasn't changed. He's still a bully after a fashion. When I try to reason with him he defends the deceased friends of his. Appealing to his morality brings no response. Just a puzzled look. He really doesn't understand common decency.

I often wonder if their bad health and early deaths were somehow connected with their recreational torments? Could there be a connection?
 
In the first case, yes... bullying and driving 75mph in a 35 are both "anti-social personality" traits or at least consistent with it. As for health, I have no idea. They may be more prone to alcoholism, stimulants or whatever, but I can't say that with confidence.
 
The worst bully I knew from the old neighborhood never even made it out of high school. Dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

One thing I've read about bullies is that the reason they are so overtly aggressive and noisy is that they lack social skills. There are plently of calmer, quieter people that wreak just as much havoc using political back-stabbing and other covert techniques.
 
I went to a religious high school, so "bullies," as such, weren't tolerated. Still, we had a couple of real jerks who weren't afraid to let you know how cool they were and you weren't. Saw a post by one of them on the school's web site a couple of years ago; he still sounds like a jerk, and he sells life insurance for the church's insurance company.
 
At my twentieth high school reunion, we used a large bar/sports complex for the informal. It was cool and a family event as well. One of my classmates was arrested for starting a fight with one of the regulars at the bar.
 
So maybe health issues are the root cause of the behavior?

I sure got in a lot of fights, up through about 10th grade. I recall the others started them all. ;) Later diagnosed with "congenital hereditary myopathy". My muscles hurt all the time, since childhood. Makes me irritable. But no overt signs, like needing a wheelchair. Anyway, diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, are all part of the package. First heart attack at 49.

So no, I don't "God is getting even" for the bullying by giving bad health later. Not all of use are 100% healthy. Poor physical health leads to the poor social health.
 
Hmmmm... tenth year reunion is coming up. I wonder if any of the bullies will be there.
A couple of them have tried to "friend" me on Facebook. Heck no.
 
More bullied than bullying, here.

But, Freddie T., if you're out there, I'm sorry.

For some reason I thought that it was hilarious, when we walked in parallel to school together, to sing "Hotdogs, Freddie's hotdogs. What kind of kid eats Freddie's hotdogs?" at you. Why? You probably still hate me 30+ years later.

As for the FFA kids who wanted to beat me up--half the time they just wanted to be friends & didn't know how to go about it.
 
Cainkane1 said:
I often wonder if their bad health and early deaths were somehow connected with their recreational torments? Could there be a connection?
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Sure. School bullies aren't drawn from the smart kids, or the kids who know how to plan ahead. They're drawn from the kids who let their ids rule them, who act on immediate impulses. And they learn that they can get away with such behavior patterns. That doesn't encourage healthy living, but makes them more likely to smoke, drink, do drugs, each unhealthy food, etc. later in life. It also isn't particularly conducive to forming lifelong friendships or stable marriages, both of which seem to help with longevity.
 
While visiting my hometown about 10 years after high school, I saw a photo of Kevin in the newspaper. As a kid, he was into random violence, theft and intimidation. As an adult he was wanted for multiple crimes including rape and armed robbery.

Kevin wasn't as bad as Frank, who tormented my younger brother in school. Frank ended up on death row, convicted of rape, kidnapping and murder.
 
Interesting. One of the prominent grade-school bullies I knew was killed shortly after obtaining his driver's license in a high-speed crash that killed several other teens...

I confess I never really kept up with the individuals I knew in high school....
 
Ziggurat said:
Sure. School bullies aren't drawn from the smart kids, or the kids who know how to plan ahead. They're drawn from the kids who let their ids rule them, who act on immediate impulses. And they learn that they can get away with such behavior patterns. That doesn't encourage healthy living, but makes them more likely to smoke, drink, do drugs, each unhealthy food, etc. later in life. It also isn't particularly conducive to forming lifelong friendships or stable marriages, both of which seem to help with longevity.
Click to expand...
I know of three exceptions to that rule. Three of the worst bullies I knew in school were athletes. A wrestler and A student and a basketball player and a weight trainer. Its personality more than anything else. The basketball player has been divorced three times. The weight lifter has been divorced twice and the weight trainer actually got married and 40 years later by some miracle she still lives with him. However every other member of his family lives 70 miles away from him.
 
Kestrel said:
While visiting my hometown about 10 years after high school, I saw a photo of Kevin in the newspaper. As a kid, he was into random violence, theft and intimidation. As an adult he was wanted for multiple crimes including rape and armed robbery.

Kevin wasn't as bad as Frank, who tormented my younger brother in school. Frank ended up on death row, convicted of rape, kidnapping and murder.
Click to expand...
Well a punk named Robert S is in prison for murder for life with no chance for parole since 1979.
 
Cainkane1 said:
I know of three exceptions to that rule. Three of the worst bullies I knew in school were athletes.
Click to expand...

Why are those exceptions? What does being an athlete in school have to do with making healthy lifestyle choices? About all it means is that you're physically strong.

Its personality more than anything else. The basketball player has been divorced three times. The weight lifter has been divorced twice and the weight trainer actually got married and 40 years later by some miracle she still lives with him. However every other member of his family lives 70 miles away from him.
Click to expand...

Doesn't sound like three exceptions to me.
 
Ziggurat said:
Why are those exceptions? What does being an athlete in school have to do with making healthy lifestyle choices? About all it means is that you're physically strong.
Click to expand...

Not just strong...also competitive and constantly encouraged by coaches to be as aggressive as possible.

And, of course, there's the little issue of steroid use among some athletes.
 
I know one of my childhood nemeses is dead but I don't know what of - must have been in his thirties. The rest of them seem to be doing just fine.

Off-topic: Casebro, one of my dogs has Canine Inflammatory Myopathy. He's a little grumpy, too. I've never known a human with myopathy...
 
aggle-rithm said:
Not just strong...also competitive and constantly encouraged by coaches to be as aggressive as possible.

And, of course, there's the little issue of steroid use among some athletes.
Click to expand...
The problem seemed to be an inability to get along. These athletes who should have had the world on a string were widely disliked and although they were handsom young men the girls were afrqid to date them.
 
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