Attention, NWO

[NoZed Avenger]

Requisition: SOL orbital laser platform
Vendor: http://www.villainsource.com/super.html
Description: See above.
Purpose/tasking: Still have not received resources necessary to keep slacker kids with video cams out of the Beech Grove, Indiana FEMA Concentration Camp disguised as a train depot. Protection of "sooper"^* secret facility necessary. Given lack of manpower to patrol, chase away, and kill intruders, requesting orbital defense capability as last resort in case of penetration by government secret agent or societal "Super Hero". Said weaponry will be deployed in order to annihilate facility as measure against compromise, as well as kill/annihilate/disintegrate designated "do gooder" government agent or Super Hero, and including incidental witnesses within a 5 to 50 mile radius, actual distance dependent on circumstances surrounding measure taken. Orbital platform requested in place of ground based variant in order to prevent disablement by intruding agent/Super Hero as per tactics revealed in supposedly fictional "entertainment" films and videos circulating in public.
SKU: They don't give me that. I'm not in Aquisitions.
Cost: Vendor's catalog lists at ¥30,000,000,000, but don't we get a discount?
Additional Notes: You know, things would've been a lot better if you would've given me the damn henchmen and a few German Shepards like I asked for two years ago, but noooooooooo, now the word's out, and we're going to have to spend more to protect the secret. Can we pony up now before we have to resort to deploying stuff in the Doomsday Arsenal?

^*Officially mandated spelling.

Your requisition has been denied.

However, in light of your requests, acquisitions has agreed toa compromise, and are sending you six (6) orbital German Shepherds.

Thank you for your inquiry.

 

[triforcharity]

Why are my six daschounds missing?? WTF?? Those are NOT German Shepherds!!! Damn you people!! DAMN YOU!! I had JUST about taught Bruiser to get me a beer from the fridge.

 

[arthwollipot]

Certainly. Is there anything else I can do for you? You sound agitated. Would you like a tranquiliser?

 

[Klimax]

A question for Sabrina:Where the hell you are getting those avatars???

Anyway I've got available one unit of antimatter beam emitor.Anybody interested?

 

[jhunter1163]

Sure. The guy down the street's dog bit my dog the other day. I think frying his house is a perfectly calm and reasoned response to that.

 

[Elizabeth I]

Certainly. Is there anything else I can do for you? You are sounding agitated. Would you like a tranquiliser?

Not only did he consent, he contracted with him. I am a witness, I was carrying the US Flag (which we know covers all nations in consensual transactions) and concealed on my person was the Book of Commonlaw, written and researched by me. HAH!

nothing personal arthwollipot, just waiting for a way in.....

Now, give me a weapon and a uniform! I got stuff to do!

When England has turned into a Jesuit-controlled Soviet Union* who'll be laughing then?


*Almost a direct quote...

 

[NoZed Avenger]

When England has turned into a Jesuit-controlled Soviet Union* who'll be laughing then?

Well, we will. I mean, we control the Jesuits, and all.

 

[snoop_doxie]

Well, we will. I mean, we control the Jesuits, and all.

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

See, I am laughing already!
Oh, how I love my job!

 

[Sabrina]

A question for Sabrina:Where the hell you are getting those avatars???

Guy named Tony Mauro painted this one; the previous one was from a quiz I took a LONG time ago on Quizilla that I saved a bunch of pictures from. This one, however, I scanned from a calendar, then shrunk to avatar size. It loses a lot in the translation, but I don't care; so long as it's visible enough on here. I enjoy the Gothic themes in Tony's paintings and have purchased two calendars with them; this year and next year. He also does the cover art on a series of books I highly enjoy by Yasmine Galenorn.

 

[leafman91]

Well, we will. I mean, we control the Jesuits, and all.

Yeah, and the Soviet Union.
Do we still have old Stalin up in cryogenics? Or was he moved out to make way for the Roswell guests?

 

[JAStewart]

I love filling out NWO application forms.

"Describe yourself in 911 words".

 

[Elizabeth I]

Well, we will. I mean, we control the Jesuits, and all.

Oh, right. I forgot. Carry on, then.

 

[Jontg]

Well, we will. I mean, we control the Jesuits, and all.

I thought we controlled the Black Pope, who in turn controlled the Jesuits.

 

[ElMondoHummus]

Your requisition has been denied.

However, in light of your requests, acquisitions has agreed toa compromise, and are sending you six (6) orbital German Shepherds.

Thank you for your inquiry.

Re: Requisition denial.



This is unacceptible for the following reasons:

1. Orbital German Shepards were delivered into orbit sans Orbitial German Shepard spacesuits. Thus, their effectiveness has been reduced to zero BECAUSE THEY ARE NOW DEAD!!! As a side note, please recall that most lackeys and many henchmen need exact instructions; leaving room for interpretation most often results in DISASTERS LIKE THIS!!!
2. Potential for Super Hero intrusion is determined to be likely. Hence, the following analysis needs to be taken into account:
   • Super Hero is engaged by Orbital Laser. Result: Dead Super Hero.
   • Super Hero is engaged by Orbital German Shepards. Result: Dead German Shepards. Or worse yet, turned to the "other side" due to judicious use of the product "Milk Bones", thus effectively aiding the Super Hero.
   ... therefore the effectiveness of Orbital German Shepards, however fierce, rapidly approaches zero since the biggest threat remains unaccounted for.
3. Response time of Orbital German Shepards must be taken into effect. Accelerating 6 hounds to the speed of light (c) also zeros their effectiveness since E=mc² dictates that they become energy at that point. Acceleration of same to .x(c) also has adverse effects due to time dilation not working in our favor. Furthermore, low velocities that do not invoke observable relativistic effects still result in Orbital German Shepards combusting upon reentry. Thus, reentry by itself reduces platform's effectiveness to zero, and once again does so BECAUSE THEY WOULD BE DEAD!!!
4. The "Cool Factor" in having dogs in space was already claimed by the ex Soviet Union through their launch of the dog Laika into orbit. Because we would be unoriginal in addition to being ineffective, our reputation would suffer accordingly. And how would the NWO accomplish anything with a damaged reputation?

It is of utter importance that secret facility be secured with superweapon so as to avoid resorting to Doomsday devices. No, sorry, orbital dogs do not count as a "superweapon" (Maybe a "Super FUBAR" would be closer to the mark). Should a superhero penetrate the facility's so-called "defenses" (a.k.a. frozen dog carcasses in space), then the truly last resort would be a world destroying superweapon, and that would leave us in dire straits as well, due to the continued delays in establishing the extrasolar space station and colonies.

 

[NoZed Avenger]

MEMORANDUM

TO: ElMondoHummus/Facility X-31 Personnel

FROM: Aquisition and Supply Service Kit and Inventory Selection Support

RE: Requisition denial.


Please re-read carefully the decoded instructions regarding your supply of six (6) Orbital German Shepherds. Said Shepherds were shipped without space suits because they were properly zombified prior to shipment. Just add water in accordance with page 4, illus. k, and STAND BACK. Note handling instructions and wear appropriate protective gear.

Said defense items may be frozen and rethawed (via rapid re-entry into the earth's atmosphere) for up to 7 years with no noticable degradation of functionality. Thats almost 50 years for you humans.

 

[Klimax]

Guy named Tony Mauro painted this one; the previous one was from a quiz I took a LONG time ago on Quizilla that I saved a bunch of pictures from. This one, however, I scanned from a calendar, then shrunk to avatar size. It loses a lot in the translation, but I don't care; so long as it's visible enough on here. I enjoy the Gothic themes in Tony's paintings and have purchased two calendars with them; this year and next year. He also does the cover art on a series of books I highly enjoy by Yasmine Galenorn.

Thanks. (Now onto hunting through internet as I doubt they are available here...)

 

[commandlinegamer]

Barack Obama is a nobel man

Now that the President has won the prize, that's the final nail in the coffin of the NWO.

 

[Zorglub]

Now that the President has won the prize, that's the final nail in the coffin of the NWO.

You mean the Nwobel peace prize?

 

[Sabrina]

Thanks. (Now onto hunting through internet as I doubt they are available here...)

Most likely; I know they're available for purchase, but I can't recall the URL for his website off the top of my head.

Sorry for the OT post all.

 

[leafman91]

Now that the President has won the prize, that's the final nail in the coffin of the NWO.

Ahem:

[qimg]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg181/kwpres_photos/st-obama-of-assisi.jpg[/qimg]

All HAIL Lord Obama!!! All HAIL Lord Obama!!!!

*sacrafices goat to the great lord and commits false flag attack*

Are you trying to imply he's asissi?

I programmed him. He can't be.